I can't come out because I can't stop questioning myself

I think it's normal to be scared and if you know in your heart it's true then it's not false. Maybe it doesn't help to hear me say that but that's what I honestly think.

 

if lesbian is the label you feel is your truth in this moment, then go for it/wear the label with pride

but don't fear lesbian not always being your label

i think it is great you are still questioning yourself in the sense that when we stop questioning ourselves we have closed our mind (here i mean not actively questioning as we are now (that would be exhausting to question forever) but where a feeling makes us reevaluate ourselves).

you dont have to wear the label in the future if it is no longer your truth. and this is not being fake this is just personal growth. and if someone else has an issue then that's their issue, not yours.

if lesbian feels right, come out as it, you don't have to justify yourself to anyone, but maybe follow it with a conversation to those you feel closest, saying this is who i am right now, i dont know who i will be in the future, and that is ok. were all changing/evolving who we are even if it is not to do with sexuality, whether that be small things like our like/dislike of goats cheese, music tastes ect

you may remain happy with the term lesbian for the rest of your life, and you might not...changing is not fake, it is natural

 

I identify with this problem so much. I've known for sure for at least six years now that I'm not straight. Most of my problem has been deciding how not straight I actually am. I agree that it feels final to come out as a lesbian which I why I'm debating coming out to people and just saying that I want to start dating women without putting a label on myself. I personally do like the idea of coming out as queer because it feels the most accurate for me at the moment. I don't have any concrete advice, I just wanted to say that you're definitely not alone in that fear.

 

I make the words of Dobby my own. Be out as what you feel right in the moment. That's no shame on that We, as humans, are constantly changing (body and mind), so just live along with that.

Besides it's not obligatory to label yourself right now as bi or gay, just try to live as happy as you can and enjoy as much experiences as you can, be as dating girls or guys. Eventually you'll figure yourself out

 

This resonates with me so much, feels like I wrote it myself. I've known that I'm not straight for a while but I haven't made much progress in figuring out the label thing since then because I still don't really know how I feel about men. I've been primarily interested in trying to start dating women for a while now, but I want to be out and open in some capacity before doing so. I didn't want to come out until I was more certain of the label thing, but it has been so long and has been holding me back in a lot of areas. I'm thinking about coming out as queer or as wanting to date women as you've said.