I know we've discussed ways to build community and make friends, but I thought it was worth doing a new thread on this because I'm sensing that others are feeling particularly in need of community right now, as I am. I think one of the things I realised over the last few days is that I need an LGBT community, and even though I've been working on building that for myself, it's building only slowly; and now I really want to make this happen more solidly. Let's all share some ideas for making a strong LGBT support system: First- this link talks about ideas for finding friends online (EC gets a shout out!) 5 Places to Meet LGBT Friends Online | PRIDE.com There's also finding events in your local LGBT centre. Google for meetups, groups, social activities for the LGBT community And here are two I haven't tapped into yet: -spiritual spaces that welcome LGBT members (I haven't stopped into the church I'd found a while back, but I think once a week an LGBT group meets there and socialises -being visibly out - imthis is only if you're st this point, I'm starting to think the more visible and vocal I can be, the greater chance I have of making LGBT friends who know I'm LGBT who I can connect to or can do LGBT events with Do you guys have ideas or thoughts on this??
Many of the local LGBT organizations here have Twitter accounts. Maybe the ones in your city do, too. If you follow one, the other ones will start to show up as recommendations. They're very up to date and repetitive, if you miss anything.
Besides what you have already mentioned, I actually have met people off craigslist... Sure most people on there are after casual sex not friendship but they have all been very honest about what they want (at least the ones I contacted). I made two short-term friends eventually (one straight guy and one lesbian). Although I am not in touch with them anymore, we did have a good time hanging out and they both seemed very genuine.
I'll be coming back to this thread and thinking about it later. My therapist keeps hinting around that I have a "gay community" Sounds like find this myseterious community will be about as much fun as finding a church was. (Which is to say, none.) I mean, of my best friends, there is a gay guy, a bi girl who mostly likes women, and a bi girl who mostly likes men. I keep telling my therapist about them, and somehow to her it's like they don't count. I have no idea what she means by community or where you magically find it. I have tried to find meet ups. You may recall the closeted lesbians drinking wine house party option that I saw online and decided it wasn't my scene. IDK. Anyway, gotta keep being productive. Catch y''all later.
How do I be visibly out? Nobody assumes I'm a lesbian. And I don't have any reason to go around saying it. Just like I can never pick a lesbian out of a crowd unless I see them with a woman.
I think a lot of people understand the rainbow flag symbolism. If you were to wear a rainbow pride wristband (or necklace, earring, t-shirt, etc.), that might be something to be more visibly out. I know what you mean about the community issue. For me, my local LGBT Center has been a really valuable place. I volunteered for PrideFest setup duty and have also signed up to volunteer in general. It's given me some strength and direction to keep going. They had a nice Memorial For Orlando this Wednesday, but I missed it due to working a night shift. My wife went and brought home a small rainbow flag and memorial handout.
Really and yuanzi - thanks!!! These are great suggestions Katchoo - hmm, that's strange. Have you asked your therapist to clarify? I wonder if she means having more LGBT centred social events or activities to meet and make new friends? ---------- Post added 18th Jun 2016 at 05:00 AM ---------- Rose petals- yes, I meant pretty much what Adray said, like rainbow bracelets or something. Also just being casually vocal. I was thinking of outing myself by asking about LGBT related events with other LGBT folks. No different than what my husband does when he meets other Jewish people (it's because he wants that community and wants to know how to sustain his traditions here away from family). Adray - yes I need community right now. I feel it pretty deeply lately. My LGBT centre is great too, I just have a bit of trouble getting out due to parenting constraints. But I'm definitely trying to keep up with their social events.
Jedi, I think I will ask her about that on Thursday, unless there is something else Ireally need to cry about.
Guys I'm pretty disappointed because tonight I learned that some of the services in our LGBT centre are getting cancelled. It's pretty disheartening because so much of the connection I have with others in the community is through them.
Thanks baristajedi for this.I tried HER apps. I guess its hard to find someone even just for a friendly level only on these dating apps if you don't have any pictures lol
But what do you do when you know where to find a community, but are too afraid to actually go to them and introduce yourself?
Good point! I have my picture up on the sites I use. I can imagine people feel more trusting if they can see your face. ---------- Post added 26th Jun 2016 at 04:58 PM ---------- One step at a time! I would start with a context you feel most comfortable in to start as well, perhaps s smaller group would put you at the most ease; or perhaps the opposite, a larger event where you can be more anonymous. Another strategy is to bring a friend along for courage. Can you tell me more about your fears in going to these events? I think the more you share, the better my (and others') advice will be.
Thanks for the answer, baristajedi. The problem with events is that they are by definition small. This is a small country and majority of LGBT folks seem to live deeply in the closet. But I would certainly prefer anonymous crowd. As for bringing a friend… well, I am deeply in the closet myself.:icon_bigg The whole community seems to be small. At least judging by their social media, they look like a close group where everyone knows everyone. Great, if you are already in that group. But I know nobody. I would be total stranger, and that reminds me of being that weird new kid in middle school. I was that kid. Still haven’t got over social anxiety and fear that people secretly hate me.
Would it help to try to connect with them for a while through social media? That may give you some distance to turn them into friends before you meet in person. I also think there may have to be an awkward first 3-4 times at events (events with the same people) which will likely lead to familiarity, and become more comfortable. you can maybe also focus on the events in the LGBT groups that are focused on activities you really feel comfortable with. Like if you like gardening, or films or wine, events centred around those things. It will give you something to do while you also try to meet people. I'm not sure if this is very helpful.... But I'd like to think about this a bit and see if I can come up with something else.
You are helpful, and I feel very thankful that you take your time and energy to answer. The idea about comfortable activities is great. I just remembered that they used to hold movie nights a few years ago, maybe they still do. And, yeah, connecting through the internet. What else can a Millennial do? :lol:
