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Questioning my sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Xoxolisa, Jun 14, 2016.

  1. Xoxolisa

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2016
    Messages:
    1
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    Location:
    El paso
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Hi okay so I'm 16 year old girl in Highschool and ever since I was little I knew I was straight I knew at that time that I liked boys. I never saw girls that way and I still don't. Ever since I was little too I over analysed everything. Last year in my freshman year ( I'm going to be a junior.) this guy in my biology class asked me if I was bi and I told him no I was disgusted by it and ever since then I have been over analyzing how I look at girls. And friends of mine have been straight and have been coming out as bisexual. I think I have this fear of becoming bi and it's all over tv too that girls just change their sexuality when I know that sexuality cannot be changed it is who you are and I know I'm straight i think I just can't accept that? Even though that sounds weird. When I say to myself that I am bi, immediately my heart and mind say "no" and before I thought about kissing a girl ( my best friend ) I feel disgusted but in my mind my mind said that only if I was bi and when I did think about that everything in my body went "no" I think I'm scared more like terrified that if more people are coming out as bi then it can happen to me. When I picture having sex with a girl I can't see it as myself, I feel nothing. I have always liked guys and the thought of engaging in any type of sexual contact with a girl just isn't me and makes me feel sick to my stomach. If I picture myself kissing a girl I can't picture myself in my right mindset it just isn't me. But if I picture myself kissing a girl or having sex with a girl does that make me bi? I have never had feelings for a girl or any sexual relations with one either. I don't think I could even be with one. Most people say that around 15 you know your sexuality I think I'm just scared and my mind has gotten the Better of me. So what is my sexuality? The thought of having sex with a girl disgust me. Am I just scared of being myself? I have had a boyfriend and kissed him too. I think I'm just scared of being myself. Does it sound like I'm straight ? Or bi? What is my sexuality? I don't see girls as hot but I don't see them as cute either and when I do it's that baby face type cute and I don't check them out but I wish to have features that other girls have. But by looking does it make me bi? I'm not curious and when I say to myself that I am
    Bi everything in my body says "no" so what is my sexuality? Am I just scared to be myself as as straight? It's been such a struggle.
     
    #1 Xoxolisa, Jun 14, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2016
  2. Kiran

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2016
    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    EU
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Just because others in similar position came out as a bi, it doesn't matter. What matters are your feelings and thoughts. For me you don't sound like a bi but in the end the label must be chosen by you.

    I wouldn't worry about labelling yourself.

    Cheers.