1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Wandering alone

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RosePetals76, Jun 3, 2016.

  1. RosePetals76

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2016
    Messages:
    475
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So, I just came out in March, at the age of 34, after having been married for 10 years, then divorced for 6. When I came out, it felt great. I was proud of who I am, and it was easy, at first. I was with a woman then and I felt confident. I thought things would continue to go well with her and I wanted to share my feelings for this new person with others. We broke up a few weeks ago and I'm now alone and feeling extremely lost. I really feel like I need some like minded friends, but I don't know where to meet people. Any ideas where to meet some new people, other than dating sites? I'm on a few of those to try and date, but I just want a small group of friends to hang out with, too. I did find a local lesbian book club that I've considered joining to meet some people, but I'm kind of shy and have social anxiety, so that might be too many people too fast. Suggestions?
     
  2. Weston

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2014
    Messages:
    433
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Seattle
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I can't think of a less stressful environment than a book club. Go for it! P.S.: You don't have to say anything, but you probably should read the book :slight_smile:
     
  3. Really

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2014
    Messages:
    2,579
    Likes Received:
    753
    Location:
    BC
    Have you checked out meetup.com? Tip: Do a search using all LGBT terms like lesbian, queer, etc because people can name their group anything.
     
  4. RosePetals76

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2016
    Messages:
    475
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    There aren't any listed in my area on meetup.Com :frowning2:
     
  5. Thirdtimecharm

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2015
    Messages:
    235
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Rose petals,
    I live in your state and have had some of the same issues...particularly for me there are not many groups that gather of women questioning their sexuality later in life. I am married with two smaller children. I know I'm the city there are lots of groups, and websites to look at, there may be some information there on meet ups. I would post the link but I am not sure if we can...

    I know I don't have much to offer but I can sympathize, feeling alone.

    We are always here to talk if you need an ear:slight_smile:
     
  6. TheStormInside

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,308
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    New England, US
    RosePetals- I wish you lived closer, we could be friends! I also have social anxiety and have been trying to meet other gay people. I have friends, but no gay friends and I've been feeling rather isolated in my coming out process, and just in my life in general, as a result. Funnily I have also checked out a local lesbian book club! I've gone a few times, but most of the books have just not been appealing to me so I've been feeling low lately as I'm feeling this is not the right group for me. I would also suggest meetup, but it sounds like you have tried that already. Are there any groups that you'd be willing to drive out further for, perhaps? Also, any kind of LGBT center nearby that you could check out?
     
  7. RosePetals76

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2016
    Messages:
    475
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Unfortunately, I can't find any other groups or centers. There are 2 bars in the "rainbow district" but I'm not really a bars type of person. (I didn't go Saturday and found I was the only lesbian there.) I'm worried I won't have enough time to read the book, or like you said, the interest. They do have some game nights for that group, though. I love board games, so I think I'll try one of those nights, if I can get past the anxiety.
     
  8. TheStormInside

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,308
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    New England, US
    Oh, game night, I'm jealous! I wish we had a gay/lesbian game night. You should definitely give that a try :slight_smile: . You got past your anxiety to go to the bar, and that is huge. Try to remember that as you prep for game night. I find it also helps me a lot to remember that after the first time I do something subsequent outings will usually carry less and less anxiety. So even if the first time feels miserable it will not always be so difficult, and will hopefully at some point even be fun.
     
  9. RosePetals76

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2016
    Messages:
    475
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone