A cognitive dissonance: topping is unfairly easier than bottoming

I agree with all of this.^

There seems to be this misconception that bottoming is an inferior role in a sexual relationship and that the person who is topping can have his way and do as he pleases. That's wrong, wrong, wrong! Many guys who bottom are assertive and very clear about what they want and need to experience pleasure (rightly so) and they will quickly speak out if they're not getting it, especially if they are in pain or discomfort. At no point, should the top be getting all of the pleasure.

If you are bottoming and feel any pain at all you should say stop and bloody well mean it too. It's your body and your right to have good and pleasurable sex too. Insist on it.

 

I'm sorry if this comes across as challenging, but how would you know that?

What this really comes down to is communication and self confidence, even if you are only having casual sex with a hook-up. Let's be clear, when you are bottoming you have every right to say if you're not happy or comfortable. The top is not in charge and your arse is not an object to be abused or a receptacle for him to dump his load in.

Douching after sex is not a must either, especially if you have practiced safe sex. Frequent douching is not good for you.

 

No. Not at all. Cleaning yourself properly before and after sex is preferred both health wise and cleanliness wise. But douching yourself is and never should be a preference for a healthy person no matter what. It is not at all good for the body as mentioned before.

 

To cite some statistics, bare-backing tops have a 20% risk of contracting HIV from an infected partner. That risk goes up about four-fold, or more, if there are co-morbidities in either partner, such as syphilis, gonorrhea, or chlamydia.

Another point: water-based lubes tend to lose their lubricant effect when used on bare skin, mainly because the skin absorbs the water but leaves the stickier residue on the surface. A condom tends to inhibit this water-absorption making the lube last somewhat longer. Of course, accidents happen, and having a condom is simply a "cleaner" option.

 

I like to use a bidet/bidet spray/health faucet to clean myself up. TMI but I use the force of the water spray and a soapy finger or two to make sure I'm as clean as can be. I do it while sitting on the toilet so that the water that drips goes straight down and not on the floor. I towel off making sure to use a soft one and I'm clean!

As far as I know (From years of reading up on Anal Sex) Anal Pleasure has something or the other to do with Prostate stimulation. That is basically the male g-spot and gives pleasure when massaged/touched. But you can orgasm from anal stimulation as well. Because it's all about nerves. Since the body has nerves everywhere you can get stimulated everywhere. Some people have more of a reaction to a specific place than others that's all. Try to be creative with your partner and find out which parts of the body both you tend to get more response to, that's a fun game and you'll know how to get pleasure too.

 

It depends on you. Perhaps those youtubers prefer being tops or bottoms exclusively due to personal comforts or reasons. What works for one person doesn't have to necessarily for another. You should experiment both ways and see how it works for you.

You can be a top, a bottom or both. It shouldn't matter as long as you are comfortable. That is important.

 

What makes you think a top doesn't take time to mentally and physically prepare himself? Both Tops and Bottoms should be appreciated. But then again why are we talking about appreciation? Because having sex is an intimate thing, it isn't a contest or competition where appreciation should come into play.

Why wouldn't the risk and preparation matter? Having safe and protected sex is important. Hence preparing well to do so is equally important and does matter.

 

Physically? Maybe. But mentally, a lot. Trust me. The top has to make sure the bottom has lubed himself well, or has to lube the bottom on properly himself. The top has to lube his "thing" well too and make sure he has a condom. Is the condom on properly? It doesn't have any holes right? Is the bottom comfortable? I have to go in slowly and carefully so as to not cause both of us any pain.

Both the top and bottom have a lot of mental preparation to do, especially the first time any 2 strangers or even well-known individuals are doing anal sex. It is important to make sure both the top and bottom are well relaxed and that is a lot of preparation in itself.