I had sex with my bestfriend and i cant stop thinking about it

There's nothing wrong with you. Your experience and feelings sounds totally normal. It sounds like you really enjoyed yourself with him, and why wouldn't your thoughts be occupied by this great new thing? However, it sounds very unlikely that things will go in that direction again.

If he considers it a mistake, he's very unlikely to want to do it again, so I would advise against asking to have sex again, or getting drunk hoping to have sex again.

What you do depends on your interests and priorities, which I only have seen a glimpse of. You might want to talk to him about your feelings. Some people can be put off by a friend having sexual or romantic interest in them, and others aren't phased. Use your own judgement here.

Even though you now see him in a sexual light, it won't necessarily stay that way. I think your feelings will become more subtle as time goes on, and though my might be attracted to him and turned on by the thought of sex with him, you won't necessarily be obsessed or preoccupied with the idea.

 

Like...how wasted does a "straight" guy need to be to have sex with another guy before it becomes rape? You can identify as you please, but seriously...

 

Hm. Ok - advice:

1) In the immediate term, you need to take the edge off. So find some privacy and masturbate. If you want to, feel free to remember what you and your friend did or maybe try thinking about doing stuff with a more generic/imaginary guy other than your friend - perhaps one who shares the traits you find attractive in your friend. Or whatever feels good to you.

2) In the longer term, I'd suggest giving some thought to both what traits your friend has that you find attractive and what you might do to meet other guys who have those traits and who you might get to know and like to the point where you might come to be attracted to them as well. This doesn't necessarily mean going to a bar or using an app. Based on what you've said, a big chunk of your attraction to your friend is based on emotional connection. This is something that some guys need to be intimate with another person. It will take longer, but ultimately you should be able to meet someone who you can connect with and be intimate with who is not this particular guy.

On a more general note - If I recall correctly from some of your other posts, the two of you originally hooked up while drunk, but then did other stuff while sober. And he was apparently sober when he asked if you wanted to do it again.

You said that you've now concluded that you are bisexual rather than straight. How do you know that he's not the same?

You've also said that if you are intimate then you can't be friends. Why not? Lots of people consider their spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend to also be their best friend.

My 2c worth,

Todd

 

Well, if you do that it may work, but it will probably ruin the friendship. It appears you still might be talking, so that's good.

The truth is, he's playing the same little denial game in his mind you are playing (to a lesser extent). The solution is to talk to him about it. If he won't bring himself to talk about it (sober), then you could try to negotiate a sexual truce, and use the experience to become better friends, if that's what both of you want.

Lot's of guys have sex with guys only when drinking. It gives them an excuse. If you want to do it again, the way that will work long term, you have to get beyond the excuse (both of you) and both admit that you're open to possibilities.

Sounds simple, I know.

 

This doesn't seem to be a popular opinion around here, but I would go for it.

Based on what you said, he didn't really say he didn't want it to happen again. You said it, and he agreed. He could be confused or exploring his sexuality, and unless he was adamantly against having sex again (which doesn't seem to be the case) I would say he's probably open to it. Sure, it would change your relationship, but I think if you communicate well it could work.

Honestly, there won't be very many opportunities like this. I had one similar encounter a few years ago, and it was great. I have no regrets, even though our relationship did change.