Okay, so at the end of November, I had really bad non-sex. I mean really bad. It was way too aggressive, I ended up with bruises I should not have had, and it was stopped half-way through by the other person, whom I'm fairly certain was more inexperienced that I realised. Long story short, it was a clusterfuck of zero communication. I later dumped the person, feeling like I couldn't really trust them in the first place because they couldn't be honest with me beforehand. The problem is, I'm totally over that person, but I don't think I'm over what happened. I'm having trouble trusting having anyone near my body again. Is that weird? Any suggestions? EDIT = *and I mean Getting BACK ON the Horse! Freudian slip!
I can relate, I had a really bad experience with my first ex who was my first BF. It was on terms of sexual assault, What I did was give myself time and seek some professional help. If things are bad you might need more time or even talking to someone about it.
I think, perhaps, you need to talk this through with someone because the aggression and betrayed trust has clearly left you with unresolved issues about sex and relationships. In the circumstances, it's hardly surprising, but you may need professional support so you can move on from what happened.
Sorry to hear this happened to you. It's better not to push yourself to be close to anyone you don't feel comfortable with. Give yourself time and don't force. You don't owe trust to anyone who you don't feel comfortable trusting. If past experience has affected you, give it some time. I wish I knew what else to advice here. Glad you broke up with them. Being intimate us not about showing off/proving experience. It isn't a competition or a race..
It's not weird. You were betrayed by someone you trusted. I'm glad you're away from this person. Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you need to. Communication is the most important thing you can do moving forward. Talk about what you are and are not comfortable with beforehand. Talk during. Talk after. Set boundaries, for both of you. If you're okay with it, talk about what happened. If there's something you want to change, don't be afraid to speak up. And if you're not ready, that's okay. Anyone who pushes after you say “No” does not respect you.
this pretty much sums up my thoughts on what you've shared. Im sorry this has happened to you and the advice above is a pretty good start. Anyone who knows what their doing will be able to openly communicate boundaries. if you can seek some kind of counseling, that may help sort out what your going through as well as help you sort out these complicated and painful emotions