First off let me say this might be in the wrong form, but I really had no idea where to put this. So let me give you a little back story realized I was gay young and was perfectly fine with it, it wasn't until I started having kink desires that I had a hard time with. Over the years I came to accept myself for who I was and what I like as neither was something that I could control. I am 25 have never had sex, you'll understand in a minute why I said that. Now lets fast forward. Recently I have been having very strong urges to participate in my kinks but really have no idea where to start or how. I want to do it with other people that share the same kinks as I do, but I want to be smart and safe about this. As time has begun to move on this urges have gotten worse and worse and are becoming much harder to suppress and control. I am not trying to get ride of them but don't think things will get any easier until I allow myself to part take in my kinks, I know there is online sites that will allow me to find people that share the same interests but again need to be smart and safe about it. What would you guys do in my situation, and how would you do it. Let me know if you need more information.
Hmm~Yes, I think I need more information... It would depend on what you mean, the context of the kink. It's rather vague, too many variables are in my head spinning. I'm rather curious. I mean because it's so vague it's kind of difficult to gauge on how to reply or what to say or even what advice to give. I think that with myself and others that haven't responded it's also in a way setting off red flags and alarms. I don't mean that to sound insulting or insinuate or even implicate. It's just that there are alot of kinks/fetishes in the world. I mean, so it depends. I had ex once that loved jock straps and thongs. Not so much so that he liked to wear them and it was also more for the sexual aspect. So, I thought it over and decided to give in to his fantasy. I wore the thongs and jock straps for him. I can't say I didn't like it or hated it! I mean I enjoyed it, but yet also didn't... So, it's the same as I can't say that I liked it either... haha I will say that adding role playing to the wearing of the jock straps became rather risque at times and well, interesting to say the least. All in all, I have to say that it was just that... An interesting experience. Hmm... At this point I honestly can't say that I have one or rather maybe it's that I am unsure if I have a kink. I know that I've been single for awhile and do not just casually hook up so the physical aspect that goes with a relationship is really starting to get utterly frustrating, yea it's getting to me. There are days I've spent literally all day, from the moment I wake till going to sleep, being horny! haha So, though I may not know exactly what you are talking about or know what it's like to have a kink I do know what it's like to get frustrated at not being able to be sexual with another person! :bang:
Thanks for the reply, even though I have accepted and learned to love this part of myself its still not easy for me to talk about but I really needed some input. The kinds I am referring to is BDSM and rubber. Now its not that its keeping me horny all day. Its really I want to try and explore it as it was something that had really interested me. It's kinda how I discovered I was gay, I developed an interest in both Bondage and wearing rubber/latex. Or at least the ideas behind them.
I mean, you're right, there are sites out there. With the safety aspect, I assume you mean meeting someone offline? I guess you'd meet them somewhere public first, and even if it is just a hookup, because of the nature of BDSM and the implicit trust embedded in that, maybe meet a couple times before actually taking things further. Otherwise safety comes down to trust, and a safe word to halt activities immediately. Depending where you live too, I think there are places you can go to meet people? Unsure there though.
I too am into BDSM yet have never participated with someone else. Have you tried experimenting somewhat by yourself? I increasingly bought more toys. Some cause pain, including e-stim and urethral sounding. I know that's not the same as giving yourself over completely to someone, but it's a way to indulge in your fantasies in a safe way. I sometimes play while watching BDSM porn.
Oh~ok, I got ya! ^_^ With the replies... Doesn't seem like it was so bad to talk about now does it? I am 'feeling' this for some reason. I can't say as I've ever thought alot into it or even read much about it. But, I've been fascinated with the thought or a fantasy hear and there. I still don't think I could say a strong "kink urge" just simply being fascinated. Something about being dominated. Giving yourself away and being submissive so explicitly. Is that even how you would word it? Sorry... It's just I guess you can say I've never really experimented much or delved outside of my normal dating 'guy to guy' ratio as in regular akin to say 'pilgrim position' not sure really how else to describe it. But, I do know that my being submissive was a thing that caused an issue every now and again. They wanted me to be more dominate as opposed to me just giving myself to them. One of my ex's, in comparison to myself. happened to be very experienced in alot of different ways. He had made mention to me that my submissiveness reminded him of BDSM and that I needed to have someone truly dominate me for me to enjoy sex to its fullest. I just kinda shrugged it off partially because I didn't really understand what he meant but also because I had him... I didn't nor should I want anything more. Or at least that's what my mindset generally is. After researching a little in the past... Well, and with what's been said here. It's brought it back. I think it could be fun. I would need more information concerning myself in this matter of BDSM obviously, but it sounds like alot of fun. I would definitely want a safe word. So, yea... If this is part of who you are and your sexuality... Well, I can definitely see why you are so frustrated. I'm sorry for that. I'm also sorry for comparing it to mine. There are people out there, we just got to find them for you! :icon_wink
Thanks guys a lot it really helps and gave me a lot to think about. @Herewego I would really like to get myself some things to experiment with but I live with parents and they are right next door to my room so t gets kinda hard to. Also I stay away from anything that involves pain. @moon thanks for your input, my who think is I would want to become friends with the person and be able to trust them before I would do anything and put them into that kind of situation.
I hid this from my wife for several years before I let her in on this side of me.... I hope there are SOME times that you're home alone. :icon_wink Good luck.
