Am I Bisexual or Just Tricking Myself

I think you are questioning yourself normally and have a curiosity. Some know young who they are and some much later in life. I wouldn't be hard on yourself for what you think or your feelings. They are yours. Glad your here and feel to ask or post anything you might think, feel, or wonder about.

 

If you really have to think before you are attracted to a girl and it doesn't come naturally, then you may just be questioning. I totally understand what you're going through, being at an all girls school. It's hard to really experiment with your sexuality when you aren't exposed to people of different genders.
My advice to you would be to see how you feel about dating girls and being sexually active with them. I know a few straight girls who just like the idea of being intimate with a girl but would never actually do it. If you find that you are naturally attracted to both girls and guys then you may be bi.
Also remember that you don't necessarily have to be attracted to guys and girls equally. Sexuality can be quite fluid and that's completely normal.

 

I do know blocking it out is what a lot of LGBT folk do, so I guess you could say we're on the same boat. I don't know if this is unique to me, but the more I try to block feelings for crushes out, the more it comes up, so I've given up trying at times. I just let it happen. It feels good for a little while, but then I feel crap again. But do you think you've blocked it out so much to the point where you feel the need to allow time for attraction to girls happen again? Because that's rather interesting. Don't feel the need to apply a label to yourself so quickly, though. It won't help.

Feel free to add me or ask for advice, my fellow English friend. :smilewave

 

Repressing feelings because of guilt. I know only all too well. I'll give you the advice I was given. Embrace the crush: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gener...et-over-crush-you-cant-distance-yourself.html

 

It's normal not to feel things towards a crush most often. I very rarely if ever have feelings when I actually see a crush.

I think it's confusing, but that's okay.

I might be bi, too, and I often just want to be straight, too. It feels easier.

You don't have to decide at all, and you can take your own time doing it. I think I need to try it out; maybe so do you.

I know how frustrating it can be to not have a label. But adopting one for the sake of it will make it harder to experiment. You don't have to be straight, gay, or bi... So if you want a label, take your time and experiment to find the best fit.

 

I'm a little late replying to this, but I consider myself bisexual and essentially went through the exact same thing you are! I didn't have crushes on women when I was young, I didn't consider them sexually until high school, but guys I was very easily attracted to. I had played with the idea of bisexuality when I was a freshman/sophomore, but it didn't become a very real possibility for me until my junior year when I--you guessed it-- fell for my best friend. My crush on her developed the way my crushes do with guys, only I had the same apprehension and discomfort considering her sexually. Overtime, this discomfort lessened CONSIDERABLY. We never did anything romantic or sexual, she's straight as an arrow and we talked about my feelings and ultimately the best thing to do was just to drop them (but that's never easy, huh?). What I'm trying to say is I totally understand what you're going through. She was my first serious female crush and I went through a lot of internal struggles deciding what my feelings were and what they meant. I did almost have to condition myself to see women as an option sexually. I've chocked that up to be raised to view men as primary partners and sexualize them, while seeing women more as supporters and friends. So for me it did take time to really sort out whether or not my feelings for women were genuine or if I was in fact just forcing myself into a new sexuality. I'd always admired the gay community, and I have gone through times when I aggressively denied any tendencies toward liking women under the pretense that I was just faking as an excuse to take the "easy way in" to the gay community. To this day I question myself, but after so much time questioning and trying to find other bisexuals who've had similar experiences figuring out their sexuality, I can't really conclude anything other than that I am bi. And that I should embrace that. There are times when I feel liking men negates my feelings for women, you may run into this too if you end up similarly arriving at the conclusion that you're bisexual. This is toxic thinking, being bisexual allows for attraction to both sexes and not always simultaneously. For me I do wish sometimes to just be 100% straight or gay, so that there'd be no questioning it, but that just isn't he case and that is perfectly okay. For now, I'd say don't count anything out, continue exploring. Having a sexual relationship with a woman will probably be an easy way to tell if your attraction is legitimate, but seeing as that may not be a quick possibility don't drive yourself too crazy with your questioning. Let your feelings for your friend run their proper course, and over time you'll be able to tell if you're really bisexual. Honestly, joining this site and asking is a pretty good sign that you're in for the long hall XD but you never know. Good luck, it's comforting to see someone else's questioning align with the path of my own. I hope I've been of help!

 

The post above me basically describes my life. I didn't really develop a sex drive until I was about 14, and when I did it was exclusively focused on females.

So what you're going through is pretty normal, and you should also keep in mind that it's valid and normal to feel more attracted to one gender than the other, or for your sexuality to not have been something you've 'always known' despite that common misconception. You've certainly come to the right place to explore your sexuality further and I'm sure that with enough googling, experimentation and time on some forums you'll be able to discover more about your sexuality. Best of luck!

 

The labels thing is so challenging for sure. I like to think of myself of being lucky enough to be able to fall for someone's heart and soul regardless of their gender.
Perhaps speak in terms of what you feel rather than a label?