Is "gaydar" real? Is that still a word?

I'm trying to handle this the opposite way by figuring out how to code queer myself in a way I feel comfortable with. I am enjoying the chance to thrift and eBay for lezboots, fossil man watches, androgynous hats, vests, wingtip shoes, chuck all stars, etc. There has also been a lot of eyeliner experimentation. Since I don't plan to switch my hair to the power mullet, fauxhawk, the Ellen, or the lumberjane, or dye it aqua anytime soon, I may need to rely on accessorizing my button downs.

 

I think it just depends on the person. Again, huge number of lesbians/bi where I work. Once I started dating my gf, I got clued in to who was dating whom. Who were the "switch hitters" (which my gf jokingly calls me), and who I thought was, but are not. For the most part, I was not shocked, but our job is male dominated and attracts more of a butch type of lesbian. By contrast, I've only known one obvious gay male at our place of employment. Of course, I know there are more, but it's just the nature of the career field and our location, I believe. I think it all boils down to deductive reasoning.

Now, I throw people for a loop, because I'm neither butch, nor particularly femme. I think we are all in tune to stereotypes, so that's why it's so hit or miss, unless of course the behavior is putting off signals.

 

Mine is broken

 

I too have been thinking of trying to project my queerness in a subtle way that I feel comfortable. I want certain people to know I'm a "switch hitter."(Thanks for the term afgirl)My street goes both ways. I was thinking of getting a rubber bracelet in either bi or pan colors. Something most people probably won't know what it is, but other queer people would.

 

I like that idea. I might do that, too. I'm not looking to date but it might be nice to see someone's face light up as if to say, 'yeah, me too!'

 

That's definitely another reason! "Hey, we're both queer, awesome!" Even if we weren't looking to date, I think the bond moment would be cool.

 

Yay! Just ordered some small rainbow buttons from Etsy. I think I'll just put them on my purse and see if anyone notices (hopefully not my dad, though...)

 

Gaydar is apparently measurable, but it isn't that accurate. As Dan Savage says in this clip, as many of you have already mentioned, and as my own experience corroborates - there's an element of "dickful thinking" (for those of us on the dick-identified side, though I'd be surprised if the phenomenon doesn't touch all genders) to my gaydar that renders it mostly useless at actually picking out gay guys. There are plenty of hot straight guys in the world - who knew? :lol:

[YOUTUBE]hJ_jYwQVoIs[/YOUTUBE]

 

My gaydar is terrible. I can pick out the obvious ones but nothing else. I think that more you spend time with lgbt people the easier it is to recognize others. And i have noticed that you can actually tell who is gay/bi by the way how they read you. I'm very much tomboy/butch and gays seem to read me as a gay but straights read me as a straight. I got a gay stalker who read me right and when i was in a festival, gays seemed to be paying attention to me when i was alone. My still husband was with me and whenever we were together talking the (obvious) gays just walked past me. When i was alone dancing or something i got couple smiles from other lesbians and a couple of gay men apparently stared me.

But every hetero i have ever met weren't even batting an eyelid when they heard about my boyfriend/husband. Because it is normal to be straight they weren't even questioning it. So i guess you can detect something by checking out the other persons reactions to you. But that probably works only if you actually look or act like a stereotype.

 

Some people have it; some people don't, maybe I half have it, think I had it but a few times I have picked people to be gay.

One of my friends from the west coast had it; walked on a train one day and said that guy is gay, could pick people out a mile away, other friends say its in the eyes, and it may only be a extra half second look but someone watching can pick it.

A few years ago; a gay acquaintance started chatting to another friend of mine and asked was he seeing anyone in one during the conversation, obviously to mean that my friend looked longer than he should, so yes some people have it better than others.

I was in the supermarket a few months ago, saw one guy and thought probably gay; then I saw him with another guy more gay and I thought yep, gaydar is improving.


Training helps.