For those of you who have been (sexually) intimate with both men AND women

With a man it's just blah....a task. Sometimes feels good, but there's no passion.
With a woman there's passion! Excitement! Beauty, softness! Boobs! Indescribable....

I'm biased though, I'm not attracted to men... Lol

 

Good question!

As for me with women, sex was like a chore. I was merely playing a part: get in, get out, go to sleep. I was more into their fashion and to be honest, i would rather just be their friend. I want to say that i wasn't a cold unromantic bastard. I mean i really gave it everything and tried to be the most romantic person i could be.

With a guy, it's a whole different ball game! I suddenly feel so passionate, i can be seductive, coy, i don't feel rushed! The kisses are unlike anything i've ever felt before. Just absolutely passionate intimacy. Even cuddling means so much more now.

I really only feel like i'm scratching the surface as it truly hard to describe. It just feels right!

 

This is how I am when I have sex with dudes. It makes me feel like a dude, lol.

I've only ever had sex with one woman, and wasn't attracted to her, we were just experimenting -- but I think I was a lot more comfortable and could give into what was going on without much thinking. That could have been my age and better bod at the time, though.

The sex I wanted to have with the girl I liked seemed a million times different than sex I'd want to have with a guy. Not sure if that counts for anything!

 

The level of intimacy I experienced with a woman was far more fluid and deep compared to a man. Kissing was softer, touching was more concentrated, the sex itself was incredibly fluid as if our bodies were actually one...some people would say I sound cliche but it's so true. A woman is easier to communicate with both verbally and physically in my opinion. With a man sex was almost too much work for me...with a woman it just flows not to mention the love making lasts for hours. I had never had a truly meaningful, life altering relationship before I fell in love with a woman. I'm not knocking those who love intimacy with a man, it's just not for me in any way, shape or form. I sound sex starved lol Hope it helps darlin' =)

 

With a man the entire process felt very mechanical and goal oriented. For the most part it felt ok and was enjoyable but there was a lot more thinking going on. For example these are some of the things I was thinking....

Hmmmm.....this surface is a little hard and kinda cold, great I'm getting a cramp in my right hip, Hmmm I wonder if he's almost done, did I turn off the sprinklers because it's supposed to rain tomorrow. If I tell him to do this maybe I can cum....nope not gonna happen better fake it.

But with a woman there is no thinking. I'm lost in the passion. My body starts to feel all tingly at the gentle softness of her touch. It's sensual and caring. I have an undeniable yearning to go deeper into the moment. It's slower and much more intense all at the same time. I feel like I'm going to cry with emotion. When I cum it's not forced or planned. I am taken. It is pulled out of me as if I had no choice and couldn't stop it if I tried. It is truly making love.

I've had sex with men. I've been fucked by men. But I've never made love to a man. I would love to say I'm bi because I am attracted to men. But I'm not bi. I'm a lesbian. My every passion and desire Is to be with a woman. Just because I could have sex with a man doesn't mean anything to me. It's just a physical act. Sure I could enjoy the act from a physical standpoint. But if I want a truly out of body experience that I can only find with a woman. The yearning for the soft intimate touch and the burning sense of passion and desire can only be fulfilled by a woman.

 

I concur. Especially now that I have an actually girlfriend :icon_bigg:icon_redf

 

Sex with a man 9 times out of 10 was a chore for me. 10th time I was drunk. Very goal orientated, with every man I've been with (and it's not that small number) apart from one.

With a woman it was much more about the process, more intimate, more sensual. More to my liking.

 

You haven't seen the men in my dating pool!

 

I've never really enoyed being intimate with a man. I've always felt like I couldn't wait for it to be over. With a woman, I felt comfortable, I felt more confident, it was beautiful, sensual. It just felt completely natural.

 

About three years ago, one wit here on EC, who was in a same-sex male relationship but had slept with women before, mentioned that it was pretty much the same, but that women were "squishier and more high-pitched" :dry:

 

I feel like I see TONS of posts on how girl on girl is different, but very little about guy on guy. Do the differences translate? Basically can you apply what the lesbians and bi women are saying about girl on girl to guy on guy?

 

You said what i lacked the eloquence to say! You hit the nail on the head there!! I'm so happy i turned out to be lesbian because i don't dread bedtime anymore. :eusa_danc :eusa_danc

---------- Post added 18th May 2016 at 09:20 AM ----------

:lol: I feel for ya!

 

Exactly it's funny but I use to think I had a low sex drive. Or I thought maybe I just work too much or I'm too stressed to want to have sex. The thing is I just wasn't that into it with men.

 

Well, I mean aside from the physical differences, it kind of boils down what you are attracted to. So i would say yes.

I mean I glow slow with a man, enjoy foreplay, do sensual touching, lots of kissing before the really fun stuff begins. I did the same thing with a woman except I found it difficult to be aroused or turned on.

I could never relax or be in the moment. When in had my first real experience with a guy, I thought to myself "Holy shit! Now I see what all the fuss is about when it comes to sex! This is unbelievable! !!!"

 

Exactly, with my ex-wife it was always an ego thing: about how I could make it last and bring her to orgasm, about performance, always thinking and never losing control...not so with guys, certainly not so with my boyfriend, the difference is firecracker vs atom bomb!

 

@Greatwhale: Firecracker vs. Atom bomb.

That is a PERFECT description! !!!!!

 

Ah, okay. That's what I thought(I'm admittedly still a virgin, both ways) but wasn't sure. I'm interested to find out what happens for myself(I'm trying to put myself out there more).

 

For me personally, I've always felt like the difference is more about the individual person than the gender. I've had enjoyable sex with a lot of men, but most of it has lacked any real emotion and I think that has kept me away from a lot of the more amazing experiences that a lot of people seem to describe. Whereas the only women I've slept with have been women I was in love with, and thus sexually I enjoyed the more tender and caring lovemaking, as it were. I'm more attracted to and more turned on by men, but once in the actual act, I've had fun either way.

As I start dating guys, and maybe even falling in love with guys, I could see my opinion on this changing entirely.