If your in self-destruct/suicidal mode what do you do?

I can say I've been there before...many times. I just have to force myself to remember that I have friends and family that would be be devastated if I ended my life. I also have to try to remember that I will get my freedom back someday.

 

Well, when I am depressed, and feel like kind of suicidal, I just think that I cannot left such a heavy load and trauma to my mom and little sister.

My self destructive moments, are when I get full of rage and anger. For some reason I feel the necessity to hit, hurt, punish, torture or harm myself. There have been times when I have lost control and destroyed, thrown things and harm myself (cellphones, for instance).

I still have the moments of anger and rage, but I try to control and contain myself and take a deep breath. It is difficult, though.

 

For me the rain against ending it is simple.
Things might get better if I'm alive; I guarantee they don't if I'm dead.

I rationalize away harm by knowing it will make my bad situation worse.. I don't want that, so I don't do things to harm myself.

As for anger I concentrate on consequences. And tell myself I will be worse off for acting on my anger no. If I just breathe and wait, the subsides

 

When I'm feeling like I'm ready to give up, I pick up an instrument and learn a song. It's a way for me to distract myself by giving my mind an occupation. I especially like to learn some of my favorite songs on my guitars or flute. I get out of my room to talk to my brother too. Usually we end up playing our instruments together or watching a show on the couch :icon_bigg

 

The very worst thing to do when you are in that sort of mood is to bottle things up inside, because the pressure becomes intolerable. Talking doesn't necessarily change things (although it can), but it does release the pressure valve and when you are despairing that's so important. Talking can be a verbal thing, but if that's not possible you could "talk" using the written word. Maybe you can be more expressive with your feelings in writing?

There are some good and reputable organisations that offer confidential help and support if you are in a lot of distress (even if you are not suicidal), so don't assume you have to cope with all of it alone.

 

I find that sometimes going for a walk (Even a short walk) can make me feel a little better afterwards.

 

There have been many times in life where I've thought " if my life was a PC game, I would load an old save or even just quit and start again". The reality is that there isn't an option for that.
All you can do is keep on playing and make different choices in the future, that will hopefully lead you to happiness. Think of your goals and dreams and realise that you can only achieve them if you keep going. If everything feels hopeless and unachievable, think about love and what it feels like. From your family to your friends, your pet to your partner, love is something worth living for, even if you only ever feel it one more time.

 

I just stay optimistic of the future.

I get depressed and have suicidal thoughts sometime. But I don't know what tomorrow might bring. I might finally get that dream job I want. I might finally find the love of my life. My favorite band from my youth is getting back together. All these things.

Yeah it's really easy to quit, but that's exactly what the oppressors want you to do.

To be fucking honest, I'd rather be homeless eating food out of a dumpster, than kill myself. Sorry. God gave me this life, I'm in it to win or lose it, until it's my time to go.

 

Take a deep breath and think of the number of people that are there to support you, being a lesbian I've been through that too with family and friends but if they are true friends they will stick by you, trust me, take care

 

I listen to music, mostly My Chemical Romance when I feel low.
Or I go over to my best friend's place, I've found this very helpful.

 

Same tbh, especially the MCR part.