If a girl or a boy blends in perfectly with everyone else, is it likely that they're straight? Or if a girl has mostly girl friends, or a guy has mostly guy friends? I can't tell! Sometimes girls and guys have different styles if they're gay (band t-shirts and, for girls, pixie cuts). Please help! :eusa_doh:
Honestly the only way to know for sure is if you ask them as it is their sexuality. Though someone may look a certain way it is not good to make assumptions for example: One of my friends constantly hugs and make innuendos with all her female friends so much that I thought she was a lesbian, but she is actually straight. Another time I had a British classmate who was the most gentlemen like yet slightly geeky guy I have ever met with shot hair and no band shirts so it was a bit of a shock when I learned he was gay. Everyone is different, but that's what makes us all unique
I agree with SideKick. The only definite way of knowing someone's sexuality is to ask. It's like when you want to know what pronouns a person prefers. Also, the thing about assumptions based on stereotypes is that they're often inaccurate (myself being an example of that I'd say) and they could inadvertantly lead to offending somebody.
I mean if they wear loads of flannel shirts and beanies and boots and such or they have a short hair cut and dress in boy clothes etc. and you get some sorta vibe then they probably are but there will be plenty who won't do those things soooo.... you sort of have to get to know them and find out. But seriously, don't underestimate the power of stereotypes... I know a girl who fits the first profile pretty well and I was like "this is ridiculous, she cannot be this stereotype - shes straight this I just her hipster style" even though I liked her and now she has a gf lol. So yeah... If you get the vibe, investigate.
People come in multiple characterisitics and variations regardless of sexual orientation. Straights wear band Tshirts, gays wear band Tshirts. I've met people who I could have sworn were gay, and they weren't... And vice-versa. There's one way to tell for sure, ask.
I'm sure most people who see me wouldn't immediately know....but asking is really the only way to know.
Behaviour != attraction That is, a person's behaviour is no way an indication of their sexual orientation. It may be influenced by their orientation, sure but the motivation behind the actions wouldn't be the same and you wouldn't know unless you asked. Like, a girl could turn down a handsome guy because she's a lesbian or because she's straight but committed or because she doesn't want to date or because she doesn't like the guy etc. It's the thought behind the action that is the indicator and not the action itself. Problem: it's difficult to figure out people's motivations without a lot of context. And one way to get context, obviously, is by asking. So yeah, ask.
I agree with Midnight Rune. The best way to tell someone's sexual orientation is by their behavior. They might "look" like a stereotypical gay, but it doesn't always mean that they are. I've assumed tons of girls to be lesbians based on how they were dressed (short or alternative haircut and or boy-ish clothes), but most of the time, I was always wrong, and they had boyfriends (some were straight, some bi). I knew of one lesbian who was completely femme, like she had these 2 inch fake glitter nails (lmao, probably single), long bleached hair, wore tons of makeup, and pink sweatpants. Even if they tell you their sexual orientation, it doesn't always mean that it might be 100% true. I've known three girls who said that they were lesbians, but were actually bisexual.
You could ask them where they fit on the Kinsey scale? If they have no idea what you're on about, they're probably straight and if they answer then you can know their number. Unless this sounds really invasive?
Asking them is definitely the best option, although it can be hard, and even then they may not answer truthfully, or may not know their orientation. Making judgements sometimes works, but for many people (like me) being LGBTQIA is not something you wear on your sleeve.
Although there are plenty of stereotypes people use to assume someone is gay, you will only really know if you ask them. For example, there are a lot of really flamboyant guys that turn out to be straight, and vice versa. I wish it wasn't so hard, and that it would be okay to go up and ask someone because nobody would be ashamed of who they are. :bang:
If you don't want/can't ask, there's still some ways to get a better idea without taking into account stereotypes. Do they look at people of the same gender? How do they look at them? Do they stare? Do they do the same for people of the opposite gender? Did they have many relationships? Were those relationships straight? How long did they last? Did they seem to enjoy the relationship? You can always try to ask them about relationships, which does not put them in a corner. Ultimately, asking it the most accurate way, but if a guy had 8 relationships with different girls in 3 months, while never even kissing them, he might be trying to hide something.
Stereotypes don't determine sexuality. An old friend of mine was as bubbly and perky as they come, and as far as I know, he's straight as an arrow. I mean, if you're asking because you like the person, you could ask.
