Okay..this is gonna be awkward but..I have to admit it. If some of you already saw my recent post in the Coming Out Advice section, then you know what I'm dealing with. I have strong sexual urges that I just can't seem to tame on my own. And the only person nearby who can help is...my husband...ugh. I don't wanna do that. I really don't. I want it with a woman but hey I can't go out and cheat right? Gah! Help!
Having just read this post from you: It would seem the logical next step would be to talk to him about opening up your marriage. If I read your posts thus far, your married for four years, he takes care of you financially, and your open to the idea of getting a job to be self supporting, while at the same time I did not see that you have children (so assuming you do not). The risk is he says no, or worse case he says you and he need to separate. It does seem you already did make the moral decision to get married knowing you were a lesbian just for the sake of having a roof over your head (again, if I read that correct in another post), and to the extent you do want to "right the ship", having an open discussion with him seems to be the way to go about it. Did I get that right?
You're good with words. And I have thought about suggesting it. But once again...too risky. Finding work in my town is super hard right now. Noone is hiring. I can't risk him deciding to leave before I know I'm gonna be safe. Its such a mess lol. But I'm trying. I'm just glad you see my honesty here. A lot of people would hate me right now..
Nobody hates you. In fact a lot of us have been in your shoes. I was caught in a similar pickel but without the financial issue so that made my choices a little bit easier (although i doubt easy is the best word to describe it). You're gonna have to do what makes the most sense for your current situation. Just be careful not to confuse him. If you simply need the physical contact and you don't feel he would be open to letting you be with a woman then maybe try and be up front with him and just tell him you want him for sex with no strings attached. Most guys probably wouldn't argue that one. But I don't think its right to lead him on. That will only make it uglier if you ever do decide to leave him.
Not sure worrying about whether others hate you helps you, so why bother? I would say its hard for anyone her to pass judgement. The only person you need to worry about hating you, is yourself. Each of us has our own moral compass, and you need follow yours.
I've done stupid things for far worse reasons and no one hates me. No one important, anyway. lol I completely understand your frustration. I'm sorry I don't have advise other than just getting yourself off, but I get it, its not the same. I hope you find peace soon!
Sexual tension is just so frustrating. Not just for me but for him too. But more so for me. I mean...in past experiences, I've had to get us both super drunk before I could get "in the mood" for that. Ain't that sad? x.x
sad....I wouldn't say sad, just not happy. Im sorry you have to deal with this. I caved once and gave hi his "one last time" I made it clear at the time he was never to ask me again but he always begs.....ugh...Im happy we were never married. We live together still, but we see other people
I totally wouldn't blame this poor man for cheating on me. Don't get me wrong I mean, he's my only source of survival right now so I don't want him to find anyone else. But I know he's tired of it.
Oh Hun I don't think anyone's judging this. You gotta do what you gotta do. You'll get through this... But I get how hard it can be to not be able to be with who you want sometimes. Sexual tension sucks...
