My 'Friends' have turned their backs on me?

From what I remember at school, people often changed personalities really fast as they started to mature, especially the girls. I remember some girls that were once super nice suddenly becoming hostile to the non-cool crowd. And I also remember some nasty girls in childhood becoming really nice people in adulthood?

In all honesty I think you should just focus on having quality friends rather than quantity. If they don't want to text you, you should just leave them be. They're probably not the same people you once knew, unfortunately.

 

The only way you're ever going to know is if you ask. I realize that sounds like a horrific thing to have to do. But as I see it, you have 2 choices -

1) Ask.
2) Accept it and move on.

You could try messaging all three of them and saying that you miss their friendship and you need to know what's wrong...that you want to know the truth, even if it's hurtful. Or, if you think that one of them might be more approachable than the others, you could try asking her in person.

If you feel like you just can't ask outright, then you need to let it go and move on. Torturing yourself about why other people act like they di will only cause you pain and depression. You sound like a pretty together guy, and as hard as it is, you can get through this too. And BTW, from reading your post I'm pretty sure that this is about them, not you. It doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong.

 

It sounds harsh, but the truth is, people who "treat you like dirt" don't deserve to be your friends. And they haven't been friends to you in a while. I'm afraid in these situations, the only thing to do is to move on. It's hard when you don't get "closure" and you don't know what went wrong, but if they won't speak to you... Sometimes there is no explanation.
You will meet other people and make new friends. You could try joining a club or talking to someone at school you've never really paid attention to before, or going out and doing things you like and meeting people with similar interests. Most people need to have some sort of friendly support, and it's not surprising you're feeling so down now that you've lost yours. But you'll find a new one. And, as ChillPenguin said: real, quality friends are better, anyway.

If you've been spending a lot of time feeling lonely, it's not surprising you're rethinking a lot of things that went wrong. We all have a past, and it's never just rainbows and sunshine -- but blaming yourself for things that are, now, outside of your control is never going to lead anywhere. We're often too harsh on ourselves when looking back: hindsight is always 20/20, of course, but the truth is, back then you didn't know what you know now. Don't blame yourself, because you were almost a different person back then, and whatever happened, for whatever reasons, it was understandable. You're only human.

Whatever these situations were, you are not the same person today. You learned from them and have grown, and maybe if you were back there today you would make another decision -- but you're not. You're you, in the present, and you have the future ahead of you, and that's what you can change. That's what you can do differently, what you can "fix."
Start by talking to someone, a counsellor perhaps. It sounds like there is a lot you need to get off your chest and share.

 

Have you thought about the possibility that it's not necicarily something YOU'VE done that caused this behaviour? You mentioned that shortly before a mutual friend left.Sometimes when one part falls out the whole construct crashes down and female friendships around the age you're in can be a lot of social complications and backstabbing just to maintain the own social status.

If they started treating you like this out of thin air you shouldn't bother with them again and try talking to and getting to know other people.

 

for better or for worst. just confront them

 

Losing friends happen in life. It might be from coming out. Or it might be from something entirely unrelated. I have a lot of great friends in my life, but I've also had other great friends in my life.

That being said, as far as your sexuality goes.. depending on the area/environment you live in, you will have people that say "it doesn't matter if you're gay, we still love you." Sometimes they don't actually mean it. They're not your real friends. End of story. Find better people than them. This is, actually, no different from people who say "it doesn't matter if you [do/think/feel this], we still love you [but we're gonna shade the fuck out of you]." People can be fake [expletives].

I am very well known and liked at my school, not at all because of my sexuality. But because of how openly gay I am, there are a few people who refuse to associate or get close to me once they learn of that. Sad, but whatever. Focus on the good people, and you'll be much better off (as I am).

Also, I have no idea how old you are. If you're in high school, this shit really doesn't matter. If you stay strong, your life will get better. When I was a teen I thought I had "at least 20 best friends" that "I could never live without"! How many am I still in contact with, today, as just a 22 yr old? THREE.

 

I can relate to some of your thread because I had so called friends turned their backs on me just because I did not condone or take part in the habits they had. I was really close more so with two individuals from the bunch as opposed to the other six. Therefore, we they abandoned me, I was really hurt at first. However, what I noticed was that I was meeting a lot of new people and many of them I had a lot in common with. After awhile, I took their abandonment as a blessing. Months later, they ran into me with some of my new friends and tried to win me back...but I was very polite to them and kept it moving.