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Maybe I should just give it up

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Green251, Apr 27, 2016.

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  1. CameOutSwinging

    CameOutSwinging
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    This teallyisnt even about your sexuality yet, like others have said. You're in an abusibe relationship with what sounds like a horrible man and you need to get out of that situation for your health and for your kids. Do that, figure that out. Go to a shelter if you have to. There are locations for women in situations you are in. But get out.
     
    #21 CameOutSwinging, Apr 30, 2016
  2. Green251

    Green251
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    I tried to contact someone but I was too scared. I just stared at the clock and never did anything.
    It seems everyone thinks its abuse.... Yet, in my mind I don't even think its abuse. Its just the way it is. Most days lately are good. Like yesterday, we went an rode roller coasters... Shopped. I have a nice home and I just don't know.
    I just think maybe its getting better. Then I think about the other day. I was able to relax. He got up and saw I wasn't doing anything. He went to work, called me 16 times. Saying that the house was a mess and why I don't answer my phone. It was in the bedroom on the other side of the house. Then, he decided that I had to clean out all the kitchen cabinets. Then he called and wanted me to oil the wood. By the time I was done it was past 11.
    Why, if you love someone intenaly want to be this way. One time we went 8 months without any issues.
    Also, he can get into all my internet programs and accounts. He doesn't know about this one.

    ---------- Post added 30th Apr 2016 at 08:04 AM ----------

    I tried to contact someone but I was too scared. I just stared at the clock and never did anything.
    It seems everyone thinks its abuse.... Yet, in my mind I don't even think its abuse. Its just the way it is. Most days lately are good. Like yesterday, we went an rode roller coasters... Shopped. I have a nice home and I just don't know.
    I just think maybe its getting better. Then I think about the other day. I was able to relax. He got up and saw I wasn't doing anything. He went to work, called me 16 times. Saying that the house was a mess and why I don't answer my phone. It was in the bedroom on the other side of the house. Then, he decided that I had to clean out all the kitchen cabinets. Then he called and wanted me to oil the wood. By the time I was done it was past 11.
    Why, if you love someone intenaly want to be this way. One time we went 8 months without any issues.
    Also, he can get into all my internet programs and accounts. He doesn't know about this one.
     
    #22 Green251, Apr 30, 2016
  3. MayButterfly

    MayButterfly
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    (&&&)

    Green, it's ok. You don't think it's abuse because it isn't physical, and he has made you lose your self esteem and your voice, and because this is your normal. But people who love each other don't treat their partner like that. They don't make them do anything, they don't bully. It's ok to be afraid to make this change. Is there anyone who can help you and maybe contact the shelter for you? I pray you will find strength to do what must be done.
     
    #23 MayButterfly, Apr 30, 2016
  4. FalconBlueSky00

    FalconBlueSky00
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    For a lot of people it doesn't feel like abuse when your in the middle of it, it feels like you deserve it. Try to reread you post and imagine that it's someone else who wrote it. Someone who you love and want to see safe. How would you feel about his behavior if he were married to your best friend? Hugs, stay safe.
     
    #24 FalconBlueSky00, Apr 30, 2016
  5. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    ^^^Yeah, that^^^
     
    #25 Katchoo, Apr 30, 2016
  6. confused04

    confused04
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    Agreed. It doesn't matter if it happens every day or eight months passed...it is abusive. Try looking up "gaslighting," because that is what he is doing to you.
     
    #26 confused04, Apr 30, 2016
  7. Green251

    Green251
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    I really don't understand. The whole thing about gaslight ing. But, I looked it up.
    I super scared to even do anything about it!!!
     
    #27 Green251, May 1, 2016
  8. Really

    Really
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    I just picked this one at random. They have a crisis line, among other things. If they are not in your area, they should be able to point you to somewhere that is.

    Emergency Shelter for Abused Women and Children in Asheville, NC - Hot Line for Domestic Violence

    Even if you call them and ask/tell them just one thing, you will be moving in the right direction. Please do this one thing for yourself. There are people out there who will help you to see that there is something better out there for you. You deserve better.
     
    #28 Really, May 1, 2016
  9. Green251

    Green251
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    I called that one and they said they have too many clients and they were sorry but couldn't help me.
     
    #29 Green251, May 2, 2016
  10. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Good for you for calling! Makes me sso mad they wouldn't help you, though! What do you think is a good next step for you? Calling a similar hotline? Talking to a friend? Something else?
     
    #30 Katchoo, May 2, 2016
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