Well this is my first thread... So theres a guy I kind of like at my school, we had been friends for quite a long time, but I don't know if he is gay or straight still, he haven't like anyone still (from what I asked him and other people) and there are no sings that tells me... Maybe if I come out to him he might tell me... but what if he is straight? (Because is really probable and im not hoping for much actualy...) Everything will be ruined, everything I do like hug him and tell him flirt jokes (I just like to do it...) he will take it really weird and I will have to stop forever. And im also scared that our frienship will be distanced... then I also will have to forget him, because I like him for like 1 year and a half mostly and tried to forget him before but I can't... So this are the questions: Should I come out to him? Or should I just wait? If he finish being straight, should I just forget him forever? And how do I do it with out damaging our friendship?) (Sorry if the redaction is not so good... I don't speak english from birth)
Ahhh... Take it easy kiddo. And here's my advice: Play it safe. I'm not necessarily saying to not tell him, but... Well I'm sure you know. Tread carefully. Think of it this way. If one of his girl friends(friends who are girls) hugged and flirted with him in a platonic way, how would he react to that? So if you decide to tell him, and if he's weirded out, you should probably convince him that it's platonic flirting. Platonic flirting is totally a thing. If you're planning on coming out to him at all. I'm not saying that staying closeted isn't a good option. For now at least. Also, if you can, test the waters as to how accepting he is.(Without actually letting on that you're gay) Also, welcome to EC!
I don't have much to add to what Linus said but this: I see what you're trying to do in this post because I have done and still kind of do the exact same thing you've done; looking for any possible way that your crush is gay too. This pracritice is really just damaging. You'll start looking for small, most likely irrelevant things your crush says or does which in your mind clicks as 'he must be gay,' when in reality, he's not. I'm not saying don't look for signs, but don't connect small things to 'he must be gay,' you'll just end up getting hurt and frustrated. All the best, Shadd
i would just take it easy. If youre not sure about him, I shouldnt tell him you like him. he doesnt sound gay or bi to be, or atleast not interested by what his reaction are to yout hugs and flirty jokes
I know, I shouldn't be really be looking for too much signs... If I come out to him I think he will tell me... (Or atleast I would if someone come out to me) Thank you for the advice n_n ---------- Post added 24th Apr 2016 at 03:46 PM ---------- Yeah, Im first planning to coming out instead of telling him first I like, it would be a really big shock overall if he is straight. I did that once when I was 12... I shouldn't have done it... I was such an idiot, didn't know what was I doing when I just knew I was gay...
Oh also if you've only come out to really close friends then I'd stick to that. If he is a close friend then I would come out considering the people who already know are close friends
Ok, so just came out to him, I't when pretty well, he said he didn't care and he wasn't homofobic and some happy faces (he also said something like he was angry and happy but did't understand that). I still honestly don't think he is gay, but I still have a liiiiitle hope, so probably in the next week im gonna ask him is he is something realted to LGBT. Thank you for the support everyone n_n.
Congratulations on coming out!! That takes a lot of strength, and I commend you for that. However, I don't think it's a good idea to ask him if he is lgbt+ related. If you just came out to him, you have to respect the fact that he needs some time to process everything. Especially, if you told him how you feel about him. Asking him if he is lgbt+I think can be a bit overbearing especially since he just found out you're gay. If he is, then you coming out to him will let him know that it's okay to be, and he may end up telling you he is. For now, I think it's best for you to wait and see how things turn out. Also, remember not too look into the little things he may do that can cause you to think he likes you. If he does, that's great, but chances are he's probably straight and you'll end up hurt. I hate to bring down the mood, but I know exactly what you're going through and how difficult it can be. Still, congratulations on coming out, and I hope everything turns out well! Keep me posted!
I haven't told him I like him,he's probably thinking about it thou... I have seen him more nicer today, so I don't know, It has only passed a day since I told him so I can't tell for sure if he is gay, and I know he is probably not, so I'm not trying to be so excited about it, I'm going to try to bring the topic again like in the next week n_n.
Well, I guess this thread won't finis with a happy love ending, but I't didn't end bad so, I told him, I't went really fine actualy, I't could had been worst like him not talking to me anymore, we had a long and nice chat actualy... but he likes a girl so, it really hurted me first but, im doing fine going over it, and he is equal to me as always, I still like him a bit though, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Thanks for the support from everyone anyways n_n.
