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Still Feeling Rejected

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Foxfeather, Apr 18, 2016.

  1. Foxfeather

    Regular Member

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    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
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    Not out at all
    Hey guys. It's been maybe half a year or so since I was rejected by a woman and I know you guys are supportive about these kinds of things. I guess, in all honesty, I suffer from low self-esteem and self-confidence. Which is crazy because I think, in a lot of ways, I'm an extremely open-minded, beautiful, and brave person.

    But when someone else makes you feel like you're not, it gets hard. I feel like I've been shot several times with a gun and I just can't stop the bleeding. Sometimes I'm hopeful, but a lot of times, I lose faith in society and lose sense of my place in it. I know on the inside I'm beautiful and amazing and kind, but sometimes, on the outside, I feel physically unattractive, unworthy, and broken. It's the body dysmorphia (NOT dysphoria, though if you've seen my other posts, you know I sometimes get a bad case of penis envy), I know, but god, it's been so long since a guy (and I've never been told this by a gay girl) has come up to me and said, "You're beautiful."

    I know that the lesbians on here are sweethearts--most of you have told me you'd take personality over physical appearance anytime--but it's so hard to feel physically wanted sometimes. People treat you differently when you're beautiful, really beautiful, and I wish people would treat me better or look at me like I matter.

    Maybe I'm shallow but the dysmorphia's making it so hard to clear up the fog and see myself as I am. Some days, I look in the mirror and I just think, "This isn't who I really am." It seem so stupid but it's such a real problem for me and I'm so ashamed of it.
     
  2. confusedbubble

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    I know what you mean about not feeling like you're attractive.
    It hurts getting rejected but you are good enough get yourself out there and find someone that loves you for you, looks fade a personality is what's beautiful I'm sure you're beautiful and will be someone's dream come true keep at it
     
  3. Hieron

    Regular Member

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    First of all, sentences like ''You're beautiful'' won't come only with words, you can feel these words from person eyes, or with a touch, just need to look on sight a bit carefully.
    Everyone of us are attractive, only it expresses from a different points. Not many of us can find these points, only these, who truly think the right thoughts about themselves.
    Looking in mirror won't solve problems, it will only make you another ones. Not always you will see yourself in bright days, there will be dark ones, too, but you must look up no matter of the situation.
    You'll find your ''only one'' one day, believe me, I can tell that by your post. You're a deep inside-world person and that's what 3/4 of many of us are trying to find in real life.
    Wish you luck, and remember- keep your head up no matter what. :icon_wink
     
  4. Sek

    Sek
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    Hey Foxfeather,

    Sorry to hear that you aren't feeling so great. I know how easy it is to criticise yourself and think you aren't worthy of other people's affection. We all go through it, even the best of us.

    The truth is you are worthy of affection and you're getting it all the time! When people do kind things like ask you how you are, offer you things, lend you a hand when you need it, take the time to speak to you on the phone, etc., they are telling you that they love you because they've given you their best asset: their time.

    Learn to seek validation from the right places! Being told you're physically beautiful is nice sometimes, but sometimes it can come from a bad place. The best way you can be told you're beautiful is by being offered time and attention.

    But that being said my dear, I know how easy it is to be taken down by your own insecurities. Be gentle and easy on yourself, for you're only human and you're trying your best to learn to love yourself fully. Try to get in the habit of reminding yourself of this and you'll be halfway there.

    All the best.
    SEK :thumbsup: