So, I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months now, and I really like him. I feel like we are a really great match for each other. There hasn't been any waver in our relationship, but a couple subjects keep coming up. He's said that he considers himself to have a higher than average sex drive. Now I'm perfectly fine with that, but I'd consider myself to have a below average sex drive. This may or may not be due to my minimal sexual experience (I've only gone all the way a hand full of times). The two of U.S. haven't gone all the way yet and I'm concerned that im not enough for him. He's very respectful of what I'm comfortable with but sometimes i think if rather him suggest things that o can just go along with. Another thing is, in his past relationships they were always open. Not saying that having an open relationship is a bad thing, but I wouldn't feel comfortable being in one. I even told him that I wouldn't feel comfortable being in one. His response was "because you'd feel jealous?" I didn't really have a response for that. Overall, I'm worried that our sexual preferences and expextations are too different and I'm not sure what to do. I really like him and I don't want it to end. Is there something I can do to become more comfortable sexually or is more along the lines of something I need to talk to him about.
This sounds like a very delicate and unique situation to handle, one that can only be resolved one way; a one-on-one discussion between the two of you. From what I'm analyzing, your discomfort about being in an open relationship isn't due to jealously (at least not entirely), but rather fear. Fear that by being in an open relationship, you risk losing him to someone he finds "better," (emphasis on the sarcasm quotations there) which is normal. I know personally if I were allowing my boyfriend (hypothetical unfortunately) to see other people while being with me, I'd be terrified that one day he'd either decide i wasn't good enough any more, or his sex drive would catch him an STD or two. Still being virgin, I can't really offer much help on the whole "sex-drive-rift" thing you've got going on. Maybe your idea of letting him take the lead in the bedroom would be the best course of action, but don't forget that you shouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with just because HE wants to. So long as you lay down some ground rules, and milestones for eachother, I think the two if you can sort this out. Tell him the rules you want for your relationship, and in return, let him set some goals for you two to reach sex-drive wise, so you both get something out of the talk. Hope this helps?
