I've completely just given up at this point. I mean as a person I'm boring and uninteresting. There is nothing special or unique about me I'm just another average person in a sea of totally average people with nothing meaningful to bring to the world. I have plenty of ideas, but that's all they'll ever be. I lack the talent to bring those ideas to life, and I lack the friends to do it for me. Everything I do is destined to wind up as a failure, and at this point I've just lost all sense of hope for myself. The best I'll ever be able to accomplish is mediocrity and soul suckingly empty life. I dunno. What's the point anyways, we all die eventually and after that is just nothingness so even if you accomplish great things in life it won't matter in the end. I'm too exhausted to even bother with optimism at this point. I have nothing to offer the world, and no one to turn to really. I am nothing and will always be nothing.
I was feeling this exact same way recently as well. I am taking a break from college (from lack of will to succeed in my classes) and am currently working a dead end job to just pay bills until I decide what I want to do. It's pretty boring overall and I feel like I'm not bettering myself in any way or really accomplishing anything other than living. I know the feeling exactly, trust me. I ended up watching an anime (which is usually what I do in my free time if I feel too down to play or do anything) called "Your Lie in April" on Netflix. Wow. Anime might not be your cup of tea and that's fine, but it really opened my eyes to my situation. In short (without spoiling anything), there's a boy who was a piano prodigy who quit playing and is wasting his talent due to some horrific events in his past. He meets a girl who is carefree, artistic, and always optimistic and they fully complement each other. Basically, she tells him how she wants to touch people's lives through music and helping out. She doesn't care if that's all she accomplishes. She is happy simply through touching at least one person's life. The point I'm trying to make here is that every life is important and not everyone achieves some ground breaking thing and becomes well known. You don't have to ever get a high paying job or invent something amazing, your legacy could be something as simple as being there for someone and that moment changing their life. Maybe you are there for someone when they fall into depression and instead of killing themself that night they instead choose life. Or maybe a kid sees you and wants to be like you when they grow up. It could be something as simple as being kind to someone and them remembering it forever. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. As long as at least one person will remember me or have a good memory of me when I die, I'll be happy. If at least one person smiles when they look back at my life and remembers some time that I helped them or said something that meant a lot to them, I'm happy. Life is about memories and relationships. It's about creating your mark in the world, no matter how small. Just remember, even the most "successful" people in history had someone they looked up to, and that person could have been a mailman or someone they met on the street that they talked to. Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to share a recent realization I have had
The sentiment is nice, and I appreciate you sharing but I just don't feel it. At this point I know that I'm sorta a nobody. I've never had any impact on anything and never will. I barely have any friends, and most people don't realize I even exist. I'm not gonna have some person look up to me, and I'm not gonna turn someone's life around. I don't have anything to look forward to in life. I never have. My aspirations died at 14, and the world's kept them dead for the last decade. At this point I'm so far behind I don't think I could ever catch back up.
Thanks ^^ Though I also watch Laci Green and TYT so don't like me too much I tend to try and get at least an idea of what everyone has to say.
If you watched her "consent is hot" video and agreed with every thing in it, including the incredibly awkward sex scene, I might consider revoking your privilege :lol:
Either find a way to enjoy your mediocrity, or practice something to become better... that's all the advice I have for you. If you're even looking for advice.
I don't often agree with Laci Green. TYT make good points on a lot of issues though. I think my views are best reflected with Secular Talk. I think Kyle is pretty spot on with where I stand on issues.
I've been trying, but I suck and instead of improving I've somehow gotten worse ;_; I can't enjoy being mediocre either. If I'm mediocre than my life is wake up, go to unfulfilling dead end job, wait for death. I don't see how I'm supposed to be happy...it's like this far off unreachable goal in the distance. F**k I can't even have a relationship be anything short of boring and uninteresting. ---------- Post added 14th Apr 2016 at 02:13 AM ---------- He's a liberal, a very policy focused liberal. I like him because he actually talks about the issues. A lot of people are about fluff and talking points, but Kyle tends to actually discuss the policy involved and brings up statistics and facts.
The quote in your signature is insightful and true. If you believe you won't leave an impact on the world, if you believe your no good to anyone, then how can it not become reality? How can you ever succeed if you've already given up on yourself? Why is it you feel your aspirations ended at 14 and are still unattainable? What do you want to do with your life, what gives you joy or inspires you? Sorry for the questions but I think they're important to ask yourself even if you don't want to discuss them on a forum. ZeroDarkness's realization he\she\other (hope I'm not offending:icon_redf) offered I think happen to be valuable words to reflect upon. I couldn't add much more but what I can say is life is a gift. It can be dark, lonely, and painful at times but if you stick it out, I promise it's worth it. You have to try and see that though, you have to fight to believe it even. Whether you make a difference to anyone or anything or just live an average life it's up to you, but I think your life is worth living. Hopefully you can see it too.(*hug*)
I'm glad you like the quote in my signature. That's just where life seemed to shift and everything got crappy. All the issues with my dad hating my sexuality never helped and always made things terrible, but as far as my aspirations... I used to really enjoy drawing. I wasn't good, but it was fun and I liked doing it when I wasn't writing stories, and one day I spent an entire day of class drawing a picture. I mean I wasn't paying attention in classes, I was just drawing fom the start of the day to the end of the day. I worked really hard on this drawing and I felt proud of it, but then I showed it to my brother. He looked at it, slapped down a piece of paper and in five minutes he drew the same picture only a million times better and I stopped drawing after that. It crushed me. After that it was time after time. I'd put my all into something, and it'd always wind up being this huge disaster that failed. At least throughout my life when I just don't care and barely try I do good enough to get by *sighs* It doesn't feel worth it. I mean I've tried to stay positive, but I just can't. I have too many negative thoughts bouncing around in my head all the time and no matter what I do they just won't leave and I can't stand it anymore.
Of course! Gandhi was a wonderful individual. I'm sorry to hear your father doesn't seem to be supportive of you. Your family should be there to pick you up not push you down. I'm also sorry to hear you stopped drawing just because someone did it better than you. When you do something creative it should always be about the feeling of it, not how it compares to anothers. You said you feel it's better not to try because every time you do you fail? Well that's a part of life but you accept your failures, learn from them, and try again. Also you may not have focused on it due to all the negatives but I'd bet you have managed some worthwhile success. I know how you're feeling. I've been in a dark place before where my thoughts were negative and I was surrounded by negative people, in a negative environment. It was terrible and suffocating. Fortunately I had some important things in my life I wanted to fight for. Despite that though I realized I had to be the one to help myself, to change my frame of mind. It wasn't immediate I stumbled a few times, the negative thoughts creeped back a few times but it did get better. Now my life is pretty awesome, I'm prob one of the most optimistic people around. Look I won't pity you because I don't think it'd help and I can't offer any more advice, especially if you've resigned yourself to not believe it. But if you ever just want to talk feel free to msg me. I wish you the best either way.
In my opinion, one of the beautiful things about life is exactly the fact that, after it, it is only nothingness. At first glance, it looks like a terrible thing. But that's why life is so precious, and that is why it is worth living: It is a limited resource, and we need to make the most of it. In more practical examples and points: The drawing you mentioned, for example. Why was it a failure? Your brother did the same in 5 minutes, right. That doesn't make your drawing worst. It probably means you need to practice more, but it doesnt' mean that you can't do better, or that the drawing was bad. I saw in your profile that you love science. That's already a great thing. Imagine how many people completely ignore science. You are in advantage here. You are a furry. We need more furries in the world, haha! The path to happiness isn't easy. It may not come instantly. But, in life, it is really rare to see something that is both great and easy to obtain. Great things are hard to reach, but totally worth it. You just need to be patient, and when you see an opportunity, grab it! Or, why not create an opportunity too? Just take a deep breath, relax, and keep being awesome!
Well the thing with the drawing was that it wasn't just that the drawing was better than mine. It's that it was made with the sole purpose of showing me just how much I suck. My brother wanted to rub in my face that he was better than me. ( He's not like that anymore, but I dunno it left it's mark ) It just feels like I'm getting nowhere. I put in a lot of effort writing all those songs ( If anyone remember that ) and I finished that project, but now I cannot find anyone to make them into music, and my attempts at learning to draw have been such a failure anyways so I'm not sure if it's even worth it to find a musician because even if I do, I still dont have the skill to animate. I'm just at a point where I don't know if I'll ever be able to accomplish anything. It feels hopeless.
I don't have money to spend, I don't have a sweet tooth, and even though I live with my boyfriend we don't have sex ;_;
You miserable man!!! :eek::eek::eek: My only advice is forgetting about everything at the moment, a reset. Do something fun, what do you do for fun anyway? I'm sure you have enough money to afford at least one fancy meal? I do count McDonald as fancy :roflmao: Well, that's just my idea for fun.
Actually we're in a position where I have to take from the rent money I set aside so we can eat this week ;_; Even Mcdonalds is too fancy >.> Yeah he's being weird. I dunno what the deal is. He keeps saying we won't have sex til I quit smoking, but I can't just quit. It's not that simple and I'm not even sure if that's his real reason anyways >.<
Wow. You have my utmost sympathy. I only have one other solution, and even that costs some money. It involves you dropping yourself in the middle of nowhere. You have a vague idea of where you're going. You walk with a heavy bag on your back and you walk until you want to collapse. Then you realize you're completely lost, there's no one around to ask for help. If there is, they don't speak your language. No signal, no internet. You feel like crying, but you keep walking. You just don't want to die and you would do anything to be alive. You're afraid of never being able to say goodbye to your loved ones. They wouldn't know that your dead starving body is lying somewhere, waiting to be found. You just have one regret: "I should have stayed at home" That worked wonder for me. (And every one, for god's sake, don't do what I just typed, it is unpleasant!!) Best of luck to you, mate, hope you get through it ;_;
