So my older brother just came out to me (he's 22 a couple years older than me. He hadn't told anyone else he was gay except for his best friend whom he told a day earlier. I was honored that he trusted me this much. He seemed kind of shaken when he told me (I don't think our parents will take it well not that Im telling them). So I just hugged him, told him that I love him and that I was proud of him? I hope I did the right thing. It felt good to be there for him when he's usually the one who comforts me. The only problem is that since we're really close, I always show him a lot of affections, though I'm not "touchy-feely". I was wondering to I have to modify the amount of affection I show him so people don't get the wrong idea? Can I still hug him? Do I have to make sure we're alone when I do? It would kill me to stop cause he's just so huggable and he always comforts me if I feel lousy. What do I do? I wouldn't be a little brother if I didn't annoy him He's super-ticklish and I'm not ticklish at all, so the easiest way to bother him is to tickle him cause he can't get me back, plus I love making him laugh and it puts him in a playful mood. Can I still tickle him now? -Tom
Hi Echidna and welcome to EC First of all congratulations for being a good brother. As far as treating him any differently? I would say to treat him just the same as you always have,if you guys hug and tickle then carry on just as before. When anyone comes out,there worst nightmare is not to be accepted and treated differently than they were before.If you were to stop any hugging and tickling he may feel that you do not completely accept him. Just let him know that you accept him and that you are there for him,it will mean the world to him. Good luck
Echinda, congratulations first of all to be so approachable in your brother's eyes, that you would be one of the first few he would come to and feel that you would accept him. You are such a good younger brother to accept what he told you the way you have. Like CSM said, you don't need to be any different around your brother than you always have been. Nobody will think any different of you if you continue being how you've always been.
PLEASE don't do anything different from how you treated him before. Trust me he will notice if your are all of a sudden afraid to touch him. He's gay he's not into incest. Please put it into perspective. If he ever introduces you to a boyfriend just treat that boyfriend like you would have treated a girl friend. (ya know complement him if the guy is hot) Don't be afraid to do that kind of thing with him. He will actually appreciate it. You know what a good looking guy looks like don't be afraid to have casual banter with him regarding the types of guys he might like. You'll be amazed at the kind of bond you will develop with him if you are able to do that. Remember this is a part of him that he has been hiding from you all of these years. Now that he's come out now let him share that with you.
First off, it's really nice of you to say that I'm a good brother. I don't understand why people are so mean to guys who come out, you can't kick someone when they're down and at their most vulnerable. I have a Friend who's parents completely disowned him, it was really sad. I was terrified when he first came to me, he was so emotional I thought it was something serious, like cancer, so it was a relief to learn that it was only that he was gay, I thought some sort of catastrophe had happened. Also he appears masculine, though it's worth noting that masculinity it's unrelated to sexuality. I know he's not going to get turned on, because that would be incest and that's unrelated. What scares me is what people will think, I can get obsessive about what other people think of me. This wouldn't even be an issue if I lived in a country like Russia or France where guys kiss each other and no one bats an eye. But Americans can be pretty conservative about this. Also there's our parents, they aren't open-minded at all! What would people think if they saw me tickling him. Well of course they're first thought would be that he laughs like a girl hehe. I thought about it and I can't be less affectionate towards him because I want him to be as comfortable as possible. I have no problem talking about hot guys, it's totally natural, nature gives you the ability to evaluate how hot other guys are so you can evaluate if they're a threat. I just want him to know that he can come to me for anything.
Just remember that the only thing that's changed is that you know something new about him, THAT'S ALL! If he was straight people would still misinterpret your actions! You can still comment on hot girls, but he'll comment on hot guys!
