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I'm going to come out to everyone at school

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by DreamerBoy17, Apr 11, 2016.

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  1. DreamerBoy17

    DreamerBoy17
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    Hey everyone! I know it's been awhile since I've been online. I'm still here, just dealing with a lot on my plate! :3

    So, I want to come out to my school. It's a terrifying and exciting prospect at the same time. I'd be the first out trans person in my school district ever. Originally I was going to come out at the beginning of my sophomore year (next year) but I was talking to my therapist today and he actually had a really good idea- coming out now, at the tail end of my freshman year, so that the gossip can come and go and I can start my next year fresh as Cody to all of my teachers!

    My school has a few single stall gender neutral bathrooms, and I believe there's a protection in my state (Pennsylvania)'s county saying that the school has to make accommodations for me, including name changes. I believe most people would be okay with things, and if some people are iffy, I'm prepared to face whatever backlash there is. I feel sure and confident in my identity and I want very badly to be out and respected with the proper name and pronouns.

    Now, my mom backs me on this and supports it, but my dad doesn't know and I think it should be fine. My therapist suggested first talking to a guidance counselor to sort things out with the administration.

    Any support, advice, or anything is much appreciated! I missed you guys.
     
    #1 DreamerBoy17, Apr 11, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2016
  2. Delta

    Delta
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    Definitely sort things out with administration and teachers you're comfortable with ASAP, they can help you a lot, but only if they know what you need from them. It may be hard at times, but you can do this!
     
    #2 Delta, Apr 11, 2016
  3. Matto_Corvo

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    Talk to the school councilor and admins. Best to get that sorta out before the new school years begins so that all you have to do is deal with the students.

    I hope everything goes great
     
    #3 Matto_Corvo, Apr 11, 2016
  4. HM03

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    Very gutsy. Good luck!
     
    #4 HM03, Apr 11, 2016
  5. Hawk

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    Good luck Cody, I hope all goes well.
     
    #5 Hawk, Apr 11, 2016
  6. MsEmma

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    Good luck, Cody! We are all rooting for you!!!
     
    #6 MsEmma, Apr 11, 2016
  7. killswitch0029

    killswitch0029
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    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #7 killswitch0029, Apr 11, 2016
  8. someone29017

    someone29017 Guest

    Lots have already said it, but good luck and hope all goes well!
     
    #8 someone29017, Apr 11, 2016
  9. optionthree

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    I'd say it's always good to let teachers know first, just so they have a heads-up before you go fully public, to eliminate the likelihood of messing up.

    I came out last year, and I was the first out trans person in a school in my city, so I understand it's a big deal. I'm proud of you man- good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #9 optionthree, Apr 11, 2016
  10. Kodo

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    Hey Cody,
    I'm routing for you, brother. I didn't know you lived in PA... I literally just moved from there. Anyway, you'll do great. And it's pretty cool you're the first, yeah? Way to blaze a trail. I'm so proud of you.

    Be prepared for some heat at school though, because kids can be nasty. But the teachers should be on your side. I came out in one of my classes at cyber school, not the same I realize, but it was one of the best decisions I made. The teacher was brilliant and so supportive, calling me by my preferred name and pronouns, connecting me with allies. I hope you can receive similar support.

    This is a big deal. Take care of yourself and hold your chin high. You're one hell of a brave young man, Cody. Our community couldn't have a better representative.
     
    #10 Kodo, Apr 11, 2016
  11. Otaku28

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    Go for it!! Just check with teachers and guidance councillors and good luck! :slight_smile:
     
    #11 Otaku28, Apr 11, 2016
  12. Reciprocal

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    Good luck Cody! It sounds like you've got a decent amount of backing to make your coming out a success. And we're all behind you as well :slight_smile:
     
    #12 Reciprocal, Apr 12, 2016
  13. the haunted

    the haunted
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    Good luck, man. That's super brave of you. I would definitely e-mail your teachers about it first though. If something comes up during class they will know what's going on ahead of time.
     
    #13 the haunted, Apr 12, 2016
  14. DreamerBoy17

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    Thanks for all of the encouragement! It certainly means a lot, especially since a lot of people excluding my mom and best friend seemed lukewarm on the idea.

    I'll keep this updated- I don't know exactly when I'm going to start putting this into motion, though.
     
    #14 DreamerBoy17, Apr 12, 2016
  15. Alder

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    Best of luck Cody (*hug*) Hope you get all the support in the world. Take care of yourself!
     
    #15 Alder, Apr 13, 2016
  16. Gallium

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    Good luck! I wish I could help, but I know that you can do it. Go for it!
     
    #16 Gallium, Apr 13, 2016
  17. Kasey

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    You'll do fine.

    Our openly trans student won the biggest transformation superlative for seniors this year. I wish to god I could have come out just to show him support. But currently students have much more protection than teachers do.

    If you are brave you can lead a whole new wave. The counselor at my school said there are tons of trans students in the pipeline terrified to come out yet.

    Wouldn't a role model be a way to lead the charge.

    Do it for your first and foremost, but don't forget you would also be a leader in that regard too.
     
    #17 Kasey, Apr 13, 2016
  18. Aberrance

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    Hey Cody, good luck, I hope things run reasonably smoothly when you do decide to. Tips I can give you would be to tell a couple of good friends first so that you have some support when coming out to everyone else and if you have a school nurse or guidance counsellor, if you tell them then they often offer to (or you can ask them to) email your teachers explaining and telling them your new name/pronouns if you're not comfortable emailing/telling them yourself. That can often be a big help. I'm not sure what they can do with admin if you've not legally changed your name. I know nowhere in the UK can change any documents until its legal but they can certainly enforce a preferred name.
     
    #18 Aberrance, Apr 13, 2016
  19. Posthuman666

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    I am in a similar situation, with the plan coming out next year, but that plan actually sounds really nice. I'll have to think about that.
     
    #19 Posthuman666, Apr 13, 2016
  20. MS001

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    Wow I can't believe how brave you are! I know coming out at a school is a super huge deal and you are probably going to face backlash, but it is going to mean so much to other kids who see you come out and feel like they can't do it themselves yet. Like you may never know how many lives you touch by being so brave as to come out so young!!! Good for you, Cody!!! That is so awesome.

    Your college application essays are going to be off the hook!
     
    #20 MS001, Apr 13, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2016
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