Can you tell me if you actually embraced your identity and became engaged in the LGBT community? If you did, what keeps you coming back to this site? Just wondering.
yes i have, and i joined the local pride society and i am learning how to become active in my community! I come back sometimes because i like to check up on how the people who helped me are doing. this is a safe place and i have recommended it to youth, however no one knows who we all are on here.
Whole-heartedly, although I'm still working on actualizing it. I come here because I enjoy queer community and issues, and because I feel like I have perspectives that help people. The people here (young and older) make me think in new ways about issues...we have some rather insightful members, and I learn a great deal by reading *all* the thoughts. At the very worst, I learn what many people think...or the intricacies of what those who disagree with me think. It's usually a good experience. And then once in a while I actually seem to help someone with something I write. That alone might be enough to keep me coming back. But it's also nice sometimes just to goof around, make jokes, and be a general smart-arse. If I had come here for help, then I might have left when I'd received it. But I didn't. I came here looking for community, and found a rather nice one. So I've stayed. *smile*
My answer is complicated. In short yes. And no. I have embraced my identity, I love me and I'm proud of me, including being queer. But I am still learning alot about myself, have very little experience with women, and have a lot to sort through in my life, in terms of my marriage particularly. So I have a long way to go and more emotional hurdles will likely come as I knock down more walls. I am engaged with the local LGBT community as well, and it's been a wonderful experience for me. But it takes time to really make friends and to feel a part of a community. I came here to EC for more than just support, I came also for the community, and I think I'll stick around for a long time, even after I feel my queer life is mostly sorted.
Heh. I find it interesting that this thread and my post here have preyed on my mind somewhat, since I posted. It's not quite as simple as that, maybe. There seems to be somewhat of a case of not being 100% in touch with *all* of my reasons for coming here. Certainly, the intent of my membership was to find queer community, discuss LGBT issues, and to help others. But I have to admit that although I embraced my sexuality fully as early as age 16, I have undergone a tremendous evolution in how it impacts me, and the implications to me of that evolution. I have used online forums for years now to explore the annoying/disturbing fact that I am bisexual in a monogamous relationship, and feel increasingly that a significant part of my sexuality to be un-actualized. This has been about a 10-year journey for me, from my starting point as a staunchly monogamous-minded soul toward realizing that I have some significantly polyamorous leanings. In the past 2-3 years, I have started, *finally*, to embrace this. But I'm still not there, fully. There is so much shame that our society [hypocritically] directs at people (particularly at women) who don't fit the monogamous model of its ideals. So yeah...I am partly here for support (although I would have to say I've received at least as much flack for exploring this issue here as I have support)...just not directly related to my sexuality. But I have received some significant support, and met some incredible people. Still, I suspect that when I've reached a point where I'm fully at peace around *all* aspects of my sexuality and how it is actualized, I will still come here, as long as this place is around (hopefully, a long time), for the reasons I cited in my post above. Sorry for the lengthy clarification...but I felt it only right to clarify my first post.
I always feel like the odd one out here. And my answer would be pretty much no for the following reason: I live in Mississippi. Rural Mississippi. There really isn't any LGBT community near where I live to speak of. Yes, I'm serious. No, I'm not exaggerating. That being said, there are a lot of lesbians and bisexual women that I work with. That's really how all this came to be in my life. I finally met up with these ladies at a get together, and I really, really liked them....my current gf started inviting me to do things. I may be getting ahead of myself, but when I do move from this area (when my youngest heads off to college) I am hoping to move somewhere where there is a larger LGBT presence and community....and hopefully a beach. Yes, I think I can deal with those two things.
I have embraced it and feel positively about my identity nowadays. But despite getting involved in community efforts, not worrying so much about others' opinions, etc, I still struggle with internalized shame that keeps me coming back here. And I see others struggling with it too and hope I can help.
Yes, i'm totally out. I have no issue kissing my bf (when I had one!) in the street to say goodbye to him; I'm looking to volunteer with a national AIDS charity (not sure doing what, but feel I want to do something), and want to take part in a pride march somewhere in the UK. I feel like I have a new life to live that I should've lived a long time ago. Why do I come back to the site? Because it helps me to understand myself better when I articulate my thoughts and feelings about the latest stage in the journey I am undertaking. If what I write can even chime in the slightest way with someone else then I will help them see that they are not alone. Being alone was what i felt when I went through the coming out experience with my ex wife, and it was truly terrifying to feel that I was all alone, nowhere to turn to that I could get help to understand what was happening to me and how I might try and deal with it. It also gave me a chance to talk and talk through what I felt and what I might try and do next to deal with everything. Plus, this site is amazing. It is truly a place where you can come and not be judged.