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Having to come out to my mom

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TheLionRoars360, Apr 2, 2016.

  1. TheLionRoars360

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    I took some advice someone gave me on another thread and decided to tell my grandma that I am still questioning my sexuality and need help and support. She said I can maybe start going to a counselor, which is great because I have been looking into that. But we also made a deal to tell my mom TOMORROW!!!! Ahh I feel certain she will accept me, which is more than most can say, but I'm SOOO nervous. How can I build up courage so I don't have a random nervous breakdown?:help:
     
    #1 TheLionRoars360, Apr 2, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2016
  2. itsbrooklyn

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    Just think positive thoughts, and don't let anything negative get to you. Tell yourself that you can do it, don't even consider the fact that you could have a nervous breakdown. Think of it as a normal conversation an not like your about to come out to your mum.
    You've got this!!
    Goodluck :slight_smile:
     
  3. Alder

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    It's okay to be nervous; it's really normal. I suggest to plan out some things you want to say beforehand, and think about some of the questions she might ask and how you could reply to them. There are some general questions parents may ask like "how do you know" or "what do you mean by [a certain term/sexuality]?"

    Just know that this is going to be an honest conversation where you have done nothing wrong, you have nothing to apologise for. Give her a bit of time to process what you tell her and give her some space if she needs it. Even if some more insensitive questions are asked try to tackle them calmly and the better thing to do is not get into any argument or anything which might make things worse.

    Take care, hope it goes well :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Alder, Apr 3, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2016
  4. bubbles123

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    Hope it went well (if you did it today) <3
     
  5. TheLionRoars360

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    Thanks, but my grandmother forgot and I didn't have the guts to remind her.
     
  6. TheLionRoars360

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    UGH I got SOO close to telling her when she came into my room to tell me goodnight. I was gonna make some quirky remark like "Let's get one thing straight. I'm not." And now I'm mad at myself for not doing it. It was a great chance. :bang:
     
    #6 TheLionRoars360, Apr 3, 2016
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  7. resu

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    If you can't say it, you could write it in a letter and then hand it to your mom to read.
     
  8. TheLionRoars360

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    Thanks, but I finally told her last night!
     
  9. DragonOfNarnia

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    I hope it went well! What did she say?
     
  10. TheLionRoars360

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    Well, she seemed supportive enough, but doubtful. Here's some quotes.

    Me: "I like girls" -Hides under covers of bed so I can't see her face-
    Her: "No you don't, you just think you do."
    Me: "I'm just now building up the courage to tell you and your saying I'm confused?"
    -pokes head out of covers-
    Her: -Seems to realize this is actually happening- "Wait, back up. What?"
    Me: -Summarizes my acceptance story-
    Her: "Well, I hope that you're not. It would make your life so, so, so, so, so hard."
    (Thanks for the encouragement, mom. -_-)
    Me: "I know that... Are you mad at me?"
    Her: "No! No! Just... Concerned."
    Me: "We can't tell dad."
    Her: "No." -humorless laugh- "No, we can't."
    Me: "He would be mad"
    Her: "Yeah, probably."

    And then we just kind of agreed that she would talk with my grandmother about school since they can make me leave if I come out of the closet. She works there and has worked there for a LOOONNNGG time. I was hoping for a "I will always love you" and be done with it in that moment, but that was kind of far off. Glad she kind of supports me, though.
     
  11. Alder

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    First of all congrats on telling your mom, it's a huge step. Your conversation with her sounds so much like the conversation I had with my mom when I told her I like girls (long story for me, she doesn't know about my gender stuff). But anyways when I told her, she was more or less supportive, but doubtful, and with a lot of concerns and questions - you're not alone. I understand it can be a wall of emotion and all on the spot (*hug*)

    Maybe give her some time to process and come to terms with all this, meanwhile if she still comes to you with concerns, even ones that may sound irrational to you, try and respond to them the best you can. For me, I'm just giving my mom an abundance of time and waiting for her to bring it up again (though who knows if that's the best way to go about this :lol:slight_smile:. Anyways, really hope it works out!
     
    #11 Alder, Apr 6, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2016