4 Years Ago I Shunned All Of My Friends And Ran Away - Now I'm Having Second Thoughts

Re: 4 Years Ago I Shunned All Of My Friends And Ran Away - Now I'm Having Second Thou

If you're active on facebook, I would just add them, like you said. Talking to them or messaging them directly after four years would be more awkward, in my opinion. That way they can peruse your profile if they so choose and see "the real you." Whether or not any discussion comes of that is up to chance, but at least you won't feel like you were hiding it from them.

 

Re: 4 Years Ago I Shunned All Of My Friends And Ran Away - Now I'm Having Second Thou

As someone who struggles with talking to others about myself, I can honestly say you may feel better if you tell them/ or add them and they figure it out. I mean, I can't say for certain about you as an individual, but personally I always feel better when I tell people my feelings etc.

I mean, I felt really good when I came out to my friends, like a burden was lifted off my shoulders. I felt I could finally relax and be myself. I wasn't planning on telling my high school friends, who I hadn't talked to or seen in two years, but it all went smoothly.

 

Re: 4 Years Ago I Shunned All Of My Friends And Ran Away - Now I'm Having Second Thou

I get your point about it being awkward to do it face to face and initially I thought "so that's what Facebook is useful for" :icon_wink but the more I think about it I don't see how it would resolve your problem. Adding them all on Facebook will allow them to work it out (the easiest way would be to put a picture saying ' I'M GAY!' in a folder called 'holiday photos' - the first place we all look on old friends profiles) but it won't necessarily help you to know if they accept you for it.
For example, it's unlikely that any of them would actually go to the effort of telling you they are against your sexuality. Maybe some of them would say something like "you look so happy in this picture with your boyfriend" or something to that effect to let you know they are OK with it but from experience I'd say most of them will just do a bit of profile stalking and say nothing at all either way.
It may be worth trying to work out why you're having these concerns first. Otherwise you may not be ready to accept the answer, whatever it may be. Do you have many friends now? If so are they mostly LGBT? Are there other decisions in your past that you are also questioning?

 

Re: 4 Years Ago I Shunned All Of My Friends And Ran Away - Now I'm Having Second Thou

It depends what you are hoping for from this Robert. You mentioned seeking closure, but will it really bring closure to just add them on Facebook? They may accept your request, but do you want/need them to accept you? Do you want, or need some sort of response from them to gain closure? Lots of questions, I know and I hope they don't come across as challenging, but I just wondered what closure would mean, to you.

It could be a hassle if you get a load of negativity back and people may ask why you just ran away, so you would need to prepare yourself for that.

Putting all of my questions and comments aside though, I can understand why you might wish to do it because I'm the sort of person who doesn't like to leave a load of 'loose ends' myself.

 

Re: 4 Years Ago I Shunned All Of My Friends And Ran Away - Now I'm Having Second Thou

I've been in a similar situation, in that I broke off all friendships nearly 4 years ago as well. For you, I guess the question is why do you want to get back in contact with them? Four years is a long time, and to be honest most of them have probably moved on by now. But if you think it could be mutually beneficial or valuable to you to pursue them again, by all means. Just know why you're doing it. Don't hop back into that arena hoping for some grand new enlightenment. Closure may come in the form of letting go of those past relationships and looking forward. But what am I saying? Do what suits you best.