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When did you first realize you were gay/bi/.....?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Potatoes, Mar 27, 2016.

  1. Rainbow Lantern

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    Yeah that last part happened to me too. Looking back telling my best friend "I love you" in grade two isn't something a lot of straight girls would do (or is it? I wouldn't know. I was trying to make her feel better though because we got in a fight and I cared about her). (Wait she said it back - is she gay?!?) I also think I might've been shipping disney princesses... And may or may not have had cartoon crushes on some of them (which would explain why I liked sleeping beauty so much - I'm into femmes now and that isn't typically the kind of thing I liked to watch once I discovered Hercules and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles).
     
  2. Dobby

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    I didn't start questioning until age 18/19ish when i realised i had a crush on a girl. and also that it was the first time i'd felt this feeling.

    but it had entered my head twice before, but literally for a split second.

    the first time i was 12/13ish and saw an exceptionally confident and beautiful girl and my whole mind/body was like "wow"..and then, i panicked and said to myself "you are not a lesbian" ...it never entered my head again until...

    ... age 18 when i was describing my feelings for my boyfriend to my lesbian friend, and she said "thats exactly how i felt about mine" and my head was like..."oh shit..am i gay? haha, no don't be silly, i can't be, why can't i be? i mean i would know, hahah stop being ridiculous"

    and then a few months later i experienced my first real crush, female, and started questioning for a few years, now i am just sure i am not straight
     
    #42 Dobby, Aug 25, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2016
  3. Quantumreality

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    Like a lot of people, I realized right around puberty, although it took a while to understand exactly what it meant. When I had gym classes in Middle School at age 13, I had to shower and change in the boy's locker room. I discovered very quickly that I had an 'unhealthy' interest in some of my peers.
     
  4. YaSabesQuien

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    Fifth grade.
    I started noticing the other boys around me.
    I also decided to become Catholic during that time.
     
  5. toothlessdream

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    It was weird because as soon as I hit 16 I knew I had absolutely no sexual interest in men at all. I don't think I ever did though and I was excited when I found that there were women that didn't conform to the gender stereotype. The internet opened that whole world up.
     
  6. Linthras

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    I cannot recall which specific day or year it was, but I can recall the thing that caused me to realise it: when my friends were talking about the girls they liked and only girls.
    It quicly became apparent that they only liked girls that way, while I had experienced the feelings they described to boys as well.

    For as far as I can recall this was sometime before I started highschool.
     
  7. ScaredBuilder

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    When I was six years old and thought the girl in my class was pretty and hadn't changed my mind before the sixth grade kind of thought I might be. Then I agreed to go out with a boy in my class I had no interest in thinking that 'hey might as well give them a chance.' Ended up dating him for half a school year and it was the most emotionally painful thing I had ever done and just though 'yeah nope not doing that ever again.' I have never crushed on a guy either so yeah took a while to sink in I guess.
     
  8. comatose

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    there was an interview in a newspaper with a gay woman and she commented on how she used to feel self concious infront of her friends. i read that and i wondered if i was gay too because i felt the same. i had never even been attracted to girls so i dont know why! but then i pretty much forgot about it.

    a few months later i spent all my time fantasizing about kissing this pretty girl in my school (i was only 11) but it never clicked that that might actually mean something.

    later on that year, i read a book where the main character described themself as being attracted to anyone regardless of gender. and i was like. o shit ! thats me! i never even knew bisexuality existed so i even planned on "coming out" to people (although i never really realised that thats what it was until later onP by like, using this book, pointing to the line.

    kinda sucks, i live in london, one of the most diverse places in the world, and i had never heard of bisexuality.

    anyway, my increased exposure to the internet meant i found out about lgbtq stuff eventually, initially using the term pansexual (thats what ive come out as to some people), then just gay, then queer, and now bi.
     
  9. candygirl5

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    Hi there. I realized I liked all sexes in grammar school. I used to look at underwear ads of women and get turned on around the age of 10, but I also had crushes on boys at school. I eventually wound up having my first kiss be a girl and also use to role play with random girls that knew. By the time I reached JR High I dated and had crushes on only boys and felt very nervous talking to girls I found attractive. In high school I became a club kid and went to various clubs in NYC some gay clubs and hooked up with men and women, but never pursued a relationship with a woman.

    In my late 20's I started TRYING to date lesbians. I always was honest about being BI to them and it was a horrific experience. I wont lie to you. Every girl I dated hyper focused on my sexuality because of various reasons one major one was that they always thought I would leave them for a man. NOT TRUE. but the insecurities from them made it hard to have a deep relationship because I was never accepted for being BI. It became easier for me to date men because they did not focus on me being BI and if anything it was a turn on for them. Eventually I swore off women because it was too painful.. I had my first serious lover hook up with a women in front of me because she said I was"BI" and couldn't be taken seriously. It was terrible. I may have met all flakes and it may be different for you, but even in NYC the community feels like a small fish bowl.
     
  10. Morgan

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    I had sex with girls at 12-13, and I loved it, so I knew I wasn't gay. I then started to get really aroused by some males in my grade at 16, so I knew I wasn't straight. Then I assumed I was gay but then I remembered of my times at 12-13 and knew that I was bi. Simple as that
     
    #50 Morgan, Sep 24, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2016
  11. james10001

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    I was 8 and like you I was 11-12 when I had my first encounter with a man it was in the park I went to the toilets they where in the bushes this guy was in there I thought nothing about opening my pants and having a pee I felt safe I found myself looking at the guys penis he noticed me looking and took is hand away so I could get a better look he started to talk to me asked if I was with anyone I told him I wasn't he moved a little closer to me then he put is hand on my shoulder he asked me if I liked what I see I just said yes he put it away and walked to the door he took a look outside then he come back in and said would I like to hold it yes was my reply I know what your all saying stupid but this was a lot of years back when it was taboo men went to prison for it I don't now but I felt safe with this man he told me to follow him he went into a thick part of some bushes I followed him in he then opened is pants and got it out he held my hand and put it on is penis I started to play with it boy was it big he then put is hand down my pants and started to play with me is other hand went down the back of my pants to feel my bottom it was nice then I felt him cum all over my hand and on my jumper he was very gentle with me he said would I like to see him again tomorrow yes I said he told me not to say anything or to tell anyone we would meat like that for a week he never did anything to me that come later we become very close to each other
     
  12. Blinko

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    as early as 12 when i was staring at my female class mates' thighs when we were playing hide-n-seek in the grass in school...however, i started putting myself out there when i was 23

    ---------- Post added 16th Oct 2016 at 07:14 AM ----------

    i didnt know why i could not stop staring at her thighs as my lady friend lay there in hiding with a pulled up skirt. i was 12 and sexual attraction didnt make sense..however i kept thinking about those thighs for a long time...later, when in a boarding high school i had a big obsession over a senior class prefect...her name is Eva and she was so beautiful and confident...at the time i didn't realise that i was gay but assumed that it was just a 'girl crush'...by the time i joined campus i was still conflicted until i had my first intimate experience at the age of 23...now i was sure ...lol
     
  13. Alwyn

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    I was 23 when I knew for sure that I am a lesbian.. I was 15 when I started thinking that I might like girls and 21/22 when I considered the idea about being solely interested in other women (but pushed it quickly to the back of my mind at first).
     
  14. i am just me

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    Hey :slight_smile:

    reading all your stories feels great! I found out that I am pansexual just yesterday. I started questioning my sexual orientation about a year ago, at the age of 18. Before, anything regarding relationships and sex just wasn't something I spent time thinking about. I didn't get why everbody seemed to be so much into dating, relationships etc.

    Last summer, I had my first crush on a boy. I then started thinking about what I need to fall in love with someone. Pretty soon I came to the conclusion that I care mostly about character. Gender seemed a rather arbitrary criterion, if someone was a great person. However I hadn't experienced any kind of attraction towards a girl yet.

    When I came back from a rather long period abroad this summer, I realized my gaze was drawn towards both good-looking men and women. I still wasn't sure about why though. As far as I knew, it might as well just have been acknowledgement of beauty. The question started bothering me a lot. I was analyzing every glance I took at someone, trying to figure out what I was feeling.

    Yesterday, I was writing down my thoughts again. A really weird sensation overtook me when I thought about a girl in university. I figured I was probably having a crush on her. This moment was extremely revealing. It struck me light lightning that I was bisexual.

    Today I went to university with a feeling of great freedom. It's wonderful not having to analyze everything anymore. I can just look at people and think "i like this about him/her/them" without asking myself "might I feel attracted to that person?" right afterwards. I am I'm curious where my newly gained knowledge will lead me and excited to start that journey. :slight_smile: