Being gay and introverted

I'm not an introvert but I think that you are certainly not alone! Don't worry, you'll find someone like you!

 

I'm exteremly introverted.
I hate parties and loud settings. But I love book stores and places where I can sit in a corner and watch people go about their business.

But being the shy guy I don't start conversations and so I don't meet a lot of other people, or potential dates. Extroverted people will say I need to put myself out there more, but I hate that idea.

 

I'm very introverted and I hate it. I wish I could change it but I can't.

 

I don't know if introversion vs extroversion really exists, but I would describe myself as preferring being alone, and I've never really been involved with the LGBT community, so it hasn't been a problem for me that it's "extroverted."

 

I'm more of an introvert but I can turn on my extroversion/outgoingness when I need to. I'm not really huge on big parties or like raves and loud music, not my scene. I've learned/practiced how to overcome a lot of my shyness over the years. Work with the public long enough and it helps you come out of your shell a bit.

 

You don't think there might be some observation bias in that extroverts will tend to be naturally inclined to be out and open about themselves (like with their sexuality) versus introverts keeping to themselves?


Meanwhile support forums are going to be overwhelmingly introverted. In reality it's probably 50-50.

 

I'd say that I'm introverted but changing if that makes any sense? I used to be really quiet and I hated overly loud obnoxious people(and still do). So quiet in fact that even after I had long since grew out of my selective mutism, there were quite a few people who were taken aback if I spoke in lesson. Some people would forget I was even there, I even had one girl ask me how long I had been in her classes and I had to explain to her that I had been in those classes for a few years with her from pretty much day one. Despite this most people knew my name but didn't know a great deal about me. I wasn't "popular" but I seemed to be fairly well liked and known.

Recently I have found myself talking a lot more, in fact I seem to have become one of the more talkative of the group, either that or I just have really quiet friends.

Usually I'm really talkative to people I know well and barely talk to others that I don't know as well. This has slowly begin to change though as I am pushing myself to approach others more, but now it doesn't seem so much of a chore since it's less forced.

I want to do more activities and go to parties but the down side of that is possible over-stimulation. This is usually why I found myself hanging out on sofas and in kitchens at previous parties, not for food but just so I could have a chat with the host and feel the calmness of the quiet once again. Still, I want to do something. I guess a small local club would be nice, I'll have to look into that.

But anyways, I know the above is more to do with shyness and quietness anyway. Admittedly, I like to recharge on my own for the most part. Communication can be quite tiring, all those small things people do that you have to keep in mind. I'm still not great with talking to those in authority, I hate asking my teachers for things. I don't know why, it's not like they're going to yell at me if I ask for another piece of paper or something. I guess whenever I have to ask something like that it makes me think of my old teacher who would screech at us and eat chocolate in front of us as punishment. I hated her. :dry: :tantrum: Ugh. But yeah, I'll stop ranting now sorry.

 

I think Im somewhere in between, because it depends of my mood, people I am with...but I usually talk a lot, laugh, sing ...making people happy around me xD
Although I dont like to go to big parties, places with a lot of people...I prefer being at home playing video games... (yeah I know Im a very social person xD )

 

I'm a mixture, but certainly more extroverted than introverted.

I do enjoy going out sometimes to local dive bars, meeting friends, and hanging out; seeing live music, and being social. I've never been into the gay 'scene' but I like cozy places where I can become involved in conversations with people, talk about politics, philosophy, art, their life story, background...I love to interact with others, and not necessarily in noisy places, but it is fun to relate your own life story to others, and for me, as a writer, I'm always fascinated by hearing those of others.

So I also like to have time alone to write, to read, to enjoy a leisurely cigar as I ponder life on the porch, or hikes in the wilderness, or even in the city. These things energize me.

But just as energizing, if not more so, is when I can share my writing, my ideas, the joy in life that I have discovered, with others...so, in this sense, I would say I tend towards extroversion.

As for the 'gay community', I can't really say, as I never had much to do with it, not being into all the mainstream aspects, and being a bit of a rebel/punk sort, and not all preppy/twink or jock-like/macho, and it always seems like gay places mainly just seem to have these same few stereotypes, and not a lot of real diversity.

I used to think I was an introvert, and that in no way could an extrovert be sensitive, empathetic, and creative...but this is not at all true, and I often feel a bit angry when I say I'm more an extrovert, and then people assume I'm somehow shallow, or somehow not as 'deep' as a more introverted sort.

 

I'm about the most introverted introvert I've ever met. Don't be fooled by my presence here, in person I'm a hermit.

That said, being queer and trans, yes it would be hard *if* I ever wanted a relationship. But that isn't really a problem for me because I intend to be alone all my life. I hate parties and being around any size group of people, noises and overstimulation of senses, as well as people touching me (including romantic advances). The likelihood of me going against aforementioned barriers in pursuit of another human being is astoundingly improbable. It's more likely I'd be struck by lightning.

 

I prefer cold, quiet environments and spend my time alone or in a small group of around three. I can't stand populous areas like sports events, they're usually loud and quite hot too. Nearly everyone where I live disagrees with me, though.

 

For the most part I'm pretty much an introvert. I'm not big on parties or big groups of people. Every now and then my outgoing side will come through, but for the most part I'd rather be by myself or around just a few people.

 

I'm very introverted. I tend not to talk much to people I don't know, and I'm reluctant to share my thoughts (or feelings) even with those that I do. I have absolutely no desire for a relationship of any kind, because then I'd have to be around that person all the damn time (among other reasons). I hate crowds, I don't do parties, I'm happiest when I'm left alone.

Yep. One of the least extroverted guys in existence.

 

Heh, something tells me the results are gonna be lopsided towards introversion. This is basically Introverts: The Forum :rolle:

 

:dry: lol there's definitely some truth to this.

 

"Introverts: The Forum" has me imagining some strange anti-musical...

 

I think I may be the only extrovert on this entire site! I admit, I do go crazy if I don't have enough social contact, from casual conversation to deeper, more meaningful interactions, to points between.

I mean, my avi is a dog! I like attention and to be around others! Pet me

~

I've been a bit distracted and not posting as much, due to some crazy RL things that have popped up...so if I owe anyone a message, I haven't forgotten, and will get back with everyone soon.

After all, I'm an extrovert. So I basically have to!

@Sartoris: Oh, hey there!

 

Hullo! [Pets Husky.] Actually thought of responding to your original post, because it resonates very much with me.

Starting to question just how much of an "introvert" I am because while I require moments of quiet solitude, there's also a need/desire to be around those who mean alot to me. Which these days I don't seem to get enough of either for any length of time... So don't worry, I hardly believe you're alone.

 

I'd say I'm more introverted. I love meeting and talking to people, but in groups bigger than 3-4 people I switch from a talker to listener or drift out of the conversation I don't really like most social gatherings and I like being alone.