Straight, Cis, and attracted to a genderqueer person?

Id say he is straight with little pansexual or demisexual tendencies. However, only he has the right to identify with whatever label he wants despite the labels you identify as. Although his label as 'straight' may contradict with your 'genderfluid' label if you love him it shouldnt really matter.

 

Hey

Someone who's attracted to non-binary people is called skoliosexual, so I guess he's heterosexual and occasionally skoliosexual. The term heteroflexible also came to mind, I think maybe bisexual (female + non-binary) could also be used but might be wrong since I'm not 100% sure. Anyway, he should just use whatever term he's most comfortable with

 

I'm not very good with the terminology but is your birth assigned sex female and have you changed your sex at some point if he identifies you as trans?

 

He shouldn't have to label himself simply because he's in a relationship with someone who is genderfluid, but by the same token, shouldn't pressure you to deny your gender identity simply because he's insecure with his sexuality/masculinity.

There are so many terms out there, honestly, and many are entirely subjective to the person using them. Straight. Heteroflexible. Bi. It doesn't really matter, in the end. He's into you, and you're into him.

Do you take issue with being seen as a straight couple?

 

Well, there are people who are in lesbian relationships and then one of them comes out as FTM and their partner still identifies as lesbian. Personally I don't think that's right became you're erasing the other person's identity but its up to the individuals. If both parties are happy then that's all good.

With your boyfriend as long as you're comfortable with him identifying as straight then don't worry about what he could/should be labeled as. Labels aren't there to be forced on people, they're for stability and comfort.

 

Well, there are people who are in lesbian relationships and then one of them comes out as FTM and their partner still identifies as lesbian. Personally I don't think that's right became you're erasing the other person's identity but its up to the individuals. If both parties are happy then that's all good.

With your boyfriend as long as you're comfortable with him identifying as straight then don't worry about what he could/should be labeled as. Labels aren't there to be forced on people, they're for stability and comfort.

 

A guy looking to date people with female genitalia would be considered straight, although he could choose to identify differently depending on the situation. For example, a guy who was attracted to men, women, and nonbinary people (meaning he would feel attraction to people who looked like cis men, cis women, or anything else) but was only interested in sleeping with people with female genitalia could definitely call himself bisexual/pansexual, whereas a guy who was interested in people who look feminine and/or pass as women and had female genitalia (e.g. cis women, post-op trans men, pre-T/non-passing trans men) would be straight.

 

I know this isn't a debate thread but I disagree. Your idea of sexuality completely erases gender identity and reduces everything down to the genitals a person has. Shouldnt we be base our sexuality upon the gender identity of the peoplr we're attracted to seeing as that's the important part of a person. What they have in their pants counts for nothing.

 

I should clarify. My own sexuality is based on gender, not sex. I have a preference for people with female genitalia, but it's not a deal breaker for me, and I'm attracted to people of basically any gender. The fact is, not everyone defines their sexuality like that. I suspect that most straight cis men define their sexuality based on sex, not gender (it's very common for people who are far removed from sexuality and gender issues to care much more about bodies than gender identification) which is entirely valid. There isn't really a way that sexuality "should" be defined. Some people experience attraction based on gender and some people experience it based on sex. My original reply was mostly focusing on people who based their sexuality on sex because I find that is very common in straight men.

I'd also like to note that saying "what they have in their pants counts for nothing" isn't true for most (monosexual) people. Most bi/pan people won't care about what someone has in their pants, but most straight or gay/lesbian people will have a strong preference, and it is often a dealbreaker in a relationship for them.

 

It's actually more complicated question than what I initially thought it was. Some people might say he is straight because he is interested in biological female while others might disagree because you identify as genderfluid. Ultimately if he feels straight then I think he is straight.

Is it really important how you label him?

 

OK. Actually I have no idea. I guess the definition of sexual orientation has a lot to do with the sex of the target of a person's sexual interests. A straight person is attracted to the opposite sex so how the other person identify their gender is secondary at best. So maybe the rule is that it's only the sex what matters in this case.