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Going to lesbian events

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by MS001, Mar 17, 2016.

  1. MS001

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    Hi Everyone,

    Good morning to those of you in the Western Hemisphere! I have recently come out and have a bunch of lesbian events on my calendar because I need some gay friends/a lesbian social network. I am under the impression that many other lesbians who came out pretty young would tend to be judgmental of women who came out later. Now I know that I should be self assured enough that other people's petty judgements don't bother me. But when you are entering a new community, it is hard to be so self assured and not afraid of judgement. Any advice on how to deal?
     
  2. Klutz

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    I worry about the same thing. I've got nothing, but I will watch this thread closely. Good for you for scheduling lots of different things. Let us know how it goes.
     
  3. MS001

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    Alright, I will report back to you tomorrow, lol. I will probably be really cowardly and avoid the question of how long I have been out at all costs.
     
  4. Icecold3710

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    Hi MS001,

    Happy for you. Keep us posted please. I wanna know how it goes too. :thumbsup:

    Goodluck!
     
  5. wanderinggirl

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    Hey I've had the same anxiety myself. Generally women don't care too much, they either want to just socialize in a safe space or get their mack on (depending on the context). Remember that the anxiety is more about you than them, if that helps; yes there will be some judgmental people, but there will be just as many if not more that would be like "good for you" or "i came out late too!" Remember that you have a lot more to offer in social settings, that "gay age" (how many years you've been out) is but a number, and just be yourself. Remember, queer events are a safe space for you as much as they are for others.

    I don't know if this helps, I still get anxiety (though it's less about having come out late these days, and more about being generally non-monosexual)...
     
  6. MS001

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    Yes, this helps so much!!! Thank you! I am less nervous now/

    I will post later on how it goes.
     
  7. MS001

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    That was so so so awesome! I had the most fun night! It's a good thing I'm a talker when I get nervous because that made things so much easier. Everyone I met was very friendly, I danced and had a few drinks. There was absolutely nothing to worry about and I can't wait to have a group of lesbian friends I can go out with. I cannot tell you out how extremely grateful I am that I conquered my fears and came out of the closet. This has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done for myself and the future looks so bright. There is going to my first pride, meeting a woman and falling in love for the first time, the first heart break, it's all waiting. It is so exciting! I am full of happiness!
     
  8. wanderinggirl

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    Yayyy!! Good for you!! I often find that when I nervous-talk, people don't pick up on that: they just see me as an animated confident person. So maybe you're also just good at hiding your nervousness. And yes, a group of lesbian friends is gonna make these settings easier; but also as you see the same people over and over again it'll be easier to find said group.

    I can hear the pride and relief in your words: being out is no small thing and yes, it leads to many many things, both good and bad... but that's what it means to be alive. I am so very happy you feel this hopeful!!! Keep it up!! (*hug*)
     
  9. lilli

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    Super happy for you! Just want you to know that your story has inspired me. I've been nervous about coming out too, but meeting other people who have been there and know what you feel is so important. I hope you find the most amazing woman in the world. (*hug*)