1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Small, homophobic town :(

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Beepbeeps, Feb 28, 2016.

  1. Beepbeeps

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2016
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hello! I just joined EC literally a few minutes ago haha, but at this point I'm desperate and anxious for advice and this site seems very helpful, so I figured I'd register and ask! I've been looking for a nice community for awhile. Anyways, I'm a freshman in highschool, in a tiny, homophobic town. My middle school years I lived in a larger town, and it was filled with the nicest most accepting people ever. My PE teacher was a lesbian! Nobody cared, everybody loved her. Then, I moved to the mountains, and I had gone from growing up surrounded by loving family and peers that supported lgbt+ people all the way, to a school where on the literal first day I heard f*g and d*ke...yikes.

    I learned I was a lesbian last summer, and I'm so happy and proud I know who I am. But I'm only out to family. I don't want to be rejected, I'm scared. Even my friends would be disgusted. Even the "supportive" ones always have a secret disgust with who I am. My school has days and assemblies dedicated to being who you are, and to stop bullying, but it stings because I know those positive messages aren't for me. They aren't for me and all the other gay kids who may be in the school. They're meant for other types of different kids, and it hurts. I want to say who I am. I wanna stop hearing that me and a certain boy would be cute, or that I'll find a guy someday. :frowning2: I don't know if much advice can be given for this, but I'm so scared of everyone turning their backs on me and saying things...any kind words would be so amazing. I'm sorry for dumping this very long post on the forums immediately, I've been holding this in for awhile...
     
  2. MaximusMike

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2016
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Sydney, NSW
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    It's clear you've realised that there are other queer students at your school, so you must remember that you're not alone. If your school has 1000 students, there statistically has to be at least a few dozen queer kids. Furthermore, even if you don't know them yet, you're not alone here. We're all queer or allies, and you're welcome here, even if you mightn't be at school.

    I would encourage you to seek out a teacher who you think might be supportive of the community, perhaps not to confide in, but just so you know you have someone to go to in case something happens. Be glad you've got your family; when they aren't accepting it is extremely crushing, let me tell you.

    Apologies for the rushed post, but I hope there's something good there for you :grin:
     
  3. ginger019723

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2016
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Francisco
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I applaud you for accepting yourself for who you are! I didn't come out until I graduated high school (in a homophobic town) and moved to California. In all honesty, I regret not coming out in high school and braving the crowd of bigots with the rest of the queers of my school. They all braved the storm, and survived. They all went on to do bigger and better things with they're lives. But I didn't, afraid of rejection and being unpopular, I waited until I left. While I did have more friends in high school, all of those people that were out in high school made friendships that lasted longer. Do you know how many of my friends stuck by me after I came out? Not a single one.
     
  4. LizSibling13

    LizSibling13 Guest

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2016
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Beepbeeps: Welcome to EC, I think you will find gay people in your school, I know Jake (my boyfriend who is in a public school, I'm homeschhooled) found a few gay and Transpeople in his school, so good luck. Find a teacher who might help you or start a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance).:goodluck: :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
  5. IamTyler

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2016
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    St.Petersburg
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I feel your stress. I could only tell, like, 10 people in my school and I had to swear them to secrecy. It'll get better. Don't worry.
     
  6. Beepbeeps

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2016
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    @ everyone OMG sorry for extremely late reply! Just thank you all so much for the kind words and advice...things are really looking up. 3 of my new found friends are bi! 2 have girlfriends and are so open about it! The 3rd is super cute and she might be into me?? Ahhh but yeah I'm getting braver and I'm so close to just saying it and forgetting whatever my classmates might have to say....
     
  7. Beanie7

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2016
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jackson, Michigan
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Don't de afraid. I went from living in a city to small town and when I was in high school people were accepting of me being bi all my friends were there for me. I'm glad your family is accepting because I'm afraid to tell my family. Keep being brave!
     
  8. Sagume Kishin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2016
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Zealandia
    I know how much it sucks.

    I was the only person in my school who I knew was gay myself - and the only other openly gay person person at my school I knew about, who had left a few years ago, was bullied.

    It was scary at times. I had seen how people could turn on others based on previously unseen views before. I didn't know if it would be different for me or not.

    But it got better for me.
    Just remember, despite what people may say, what they may do...

    There are people out there who care about you, people who wouldn't turn on you for who you are.
    It gets better. (&&&)

    Heck, it's even starting to get better for you now. You're starting to meet like-minded people who would probably stick with you through thick and thin.

    Though, your situation is a bit different than mine... just come out when you feel comfortable doing so. If you think your school isn't going to accept you for who you are, though, it might be safer not to, or to tell only people you trust.

    I wish you luck. Remember that you'll always be welcomed here. (*hug*)
     
    #8 Sagume Kishin, Mar 23, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2016
  9. lilli

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2016
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Stillwater
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I send you all the hugs. I grew up in the heart of the Bible Belt, and the response I heard from both family and friends growing up was that the "lifestyle" (and I HATE hearing it called that) was sinful and wrong. I heard all this bullshit about "love the sinner, hate the sin." But you know what? Once I left that town, I realized that those people don't represent everybody. There ARE plenty of other people who have thoughts and feelings and experiences just like yours, and as painful as this is to hear, anybody who can't accept you as you are isn't truly your friend. Friends don't abandon each other over their sexuality. I've found that meeting other LGBT people and networking has been SO AWESOME for my social life and happiness, and this forum is a good place to start. I think you're awesome and would love to call you my friend. (*hug*)
     
  10. Beepbeeps

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2016
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thank you all so much for the overwhelming support, it warms my heart so much. I didnt have a lgbt+ community to reach it to, I never did. And I felt so odd and out of place, but seeing people just like me who love who they are is so amazing. I teared up, not gonna lie. Thank you thank you thank you ♥️♥️♥️