My partner is nonbinary and they were up front about it and I signed on, I'm so glad. Recently we've been talking more about them transitioning to becoming more masculine. The body hair is okay, I'm working on identifying them by a new name in my brain. They're being amazingly understanding of my lack of knowledge. That being said, is there any advice you can give me?
The most important thing is communication. Talk to your partner about how they feel about gendered words, pronouns, anything. If you have any questions, it sounds like your partner would be more than happy to answer them for you. If your have any general questions about people who are nonbinary, feel free to ask me or any of the other nonbinary people here, OK? Also, the fact that you are using they/then pronouns is amazing. I can honestly say from experience that someone doing that means a lot to me, and I'm sure it's the same for your partner. They're really lucky to have such an understanding and loving girlfriend.
Thank you for replying! The question I asked my partner today that I was wondering about, if I'm talking about them to coworkers or with my family (who they are not out as nonbinary to) what pronouns should I use? Also, any advice for making the name switch? This is the name of the person I love deeply, I'm attached to it, do I just keep saying the new one until I feel the same about it? And my partner said thanks and that I'm their rock.
It's the name of your loved person. You are attached to them and since they prefer another name, your love's name is the other one. It always take time to adjust to new things. Just use it naturally. It'll blend soon. Cheers.
In terms of general advice, just try. Try really hard. Make it really obvious that you're trying. Your partner is unlikely to be upset with you as long as it's obvious that you're putting in the effort. And definitely communicate with them. Ask if there's anything they want you to do differently that could make them more comfortable. Practice using their new name until you really get used to it. Say stuff about them out loud when you're alone (or with your partner there) just to get used to hearing it, saying it, and associating it with your partner.
This advice definitely helped push me over into trying harder. It's not just going to happen, I have to practice. Thank you both. I changed their name in my phone, I think that will help a lot.
