So, under all the chaos that's raging around me I've finally had a few moments to think about trying to make myself look less feminine. The thing that would largely contribute to this is getting short hair. Right now, I wear my hair in a pony tail and honestly, it looks like a bush on the back of my head. I've asked my mum if I could have it short, at first she thought that I meant shoulder length, and after I explained she wasn't having it. She asked if I wanted to look like a boy (genuinely worried that I did, which kills as I now know I'll never be able to come out to the person who is supposed to love me no matter what) I had to say no. If anyone has experienced this and has an idea that I could use to try and convince my mother to let me get it short. Thanks, FoxEars.
Do you have any female friends with short hair? If so, use them as an example of what you want. Or a celebrity with short hair. Anne Hathaway with the short hair for instance. Put her mind at ease... You could also try the shoulder length as an intermediate stage, and give her time to get used to that.. And tbh, the idea that short hair on a female makes you look like a boy, is wrong. It might help you feel like a boy, but depending on the haircut, of course, it doesn't necessarily make you look boyish. My hair is very short (number 5 cut for me last week) and I don't look male..
How old are you and could you afford paying for the haircut yourself? I just went to the hairdresser and got my hair cut, didn't even ask my parents. I think once you are a certain age, your parents shouldn't really have a say in what you wear and how you decide to style your hair. (Unless it's about piercings our tattoos maybe.) I don't want to come of as completely ignorant or anything, my parents were always pretty liberal with letting me dress how I want, so of course only go to the hairdresser if you know your parents won't ground you or do something worse.
If she lets you do shoulder length and you think it'll make you feel better, go for that, even if it's not your ultimate goal. If you feel like you won't get in trouble doing this, you could take a pair of scissors and cut it yourself. I did this before, but it didn't look too great. You could say that you find it too much of a hassle to have long hair. It is easier to take care of short hair than long hair. (in general, there are exceptions)
You could tell her that you want short hair because it's easier to deal with. If you mom listens more to logic tell her that short hair takes less time to dry, less time to wash and leaves less hair lying around. Short hair usually has healthier ends because it's cut more often. You could go for pathos and say short hair makes you feel more relaxed, open and it's freeing. Perhaps you could say that the reason you want a hair cut is because you want a new look and it's about what you like rather than what other people like. You could also just show a picture of what you want. I think the hairstylist will listen to the person who's hair they're cutting rather than the parent hovering on the side. You'll have to be somewhat assertive and quick to say what you want. It's much easier if you speak first. Last time I went to get my hair cut my mom told the hairstylist to keep the sides long (which I didn't want) and it's much harder to out right oppose a parent in public.
The problem with just getting it done is that my mum will most likely scream at me. Full on scream. She gets way too angry over little things, so getting my hair cut short without her permission would be way too far. I am 13 years old and cannot afford to pay for transport and a hair cut. Plus, I'd have to get my hairdressers number to book an appointment- which would definitely let my mum stop me in my tracks. I'll try to show her pictures of girls with short hair, and I used my Aunt as an example. "Can I get my hair short like Auntie (name)?" Still, she just said that that it is very short and I'd look like a guy. The problem with shoulder length hair is that I can't put it in a bun, which is a must for girls with shoulder length/longer hair at air cadets. Plus, I'd absolutely hate it.
So find something between shoulder length and the length of your aunts hair... ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2016 at 09:21 PM ---------- What about this sort of length http://i1.wp.com/therighthairstyles...4/03/Cute-short-hairstyles-for-2013.jpg?w=500 Too short for a bun but not boy short, and enough leeway that you could style it boyish when you're not home?
Sounds like it may be a lot of trouble convincing your parents from what you've described. Sometimes it's best just to choose your battles and do as much as you can to be able to identify and express yourself freely... Which sucks, yeah. Even if you cut it yourself, sounds like your parents probably wouldn't be too happy :/ Maybe try and ask for a style that's sort of stealth. Long but also kind of short. Usually you get layers on top, but you could ask for them underneath instead so that when you pull your hair up or into a beanie or hat, it looks pretty boyish. A Final Fantasy character actually made me think of this. Don't know if it helps much, but you can see what I mean here https://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=https://gomakemeasandwich.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/401512-bigthumbnail.jpg&imgrefurl=https://gomakemeasandwich.wordpress.com/tag/final-fantasy/&h=253&w=450&tbnid=F-lDl8UGC3abDM:&docid=O5yqI4Pd6s35rM&ei=lqfBVpf8E8un0gS50J-ICg&tbm=isch&ved=0ahUKEwiXn7b7xvnKAhXLk5QKHTnoB6EQMwiAAShcMFw and https://www.google.com.au/imgres?im...d=0ahUKEwi0hLzmxvnKAhWGupQKHWuCBYkQMwgtKBIwEg. Best of luck : )
My mum said that if I were to have my hair cut shorter, it had to be shoulder length or longer. So there's still the problem of trying to convince her- though that is a pretty cool style. While that ain't a bad idea, I know a girl who was put into exclusion because she got her hair cut like that on the last day of term- before the summer holidays.
It's going to take a while to convince my parents, so would putting my hair in a bun and wearing a beanie probably help make me look (stereotypically) less feminine?
I honestly don't know, that would kind of depend on your face shape... Why not find a heap of photos of women with short hair, similar to what I posted...that is a very feminine looking woman... I don't understand the obsession with females hair having to be long tbh. Same with males hair having to be short. My fifteen year old son has long hair, well past his shoulders, and it suits him. My hair is very short, number five cut lol...and it still feels too long lmao. Going for a four next time...tweaking it each time I get it cut...
