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Females, women, girls of all ages: ma'am or miss?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by AlamoCity, Feb 11, 2016.

  1. AlamoCity

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    I had a chuckle today because I was at work walking around the property with a coworker and we passed a female around my age and as I passed her I said "Good evening, ma'am" (in all honesty it was more like "evening, ma'am"). She turned around and half-incredulously said, "my mom is 'ma'am'" and kept on walking before I could apologize.

    This was only the second or so time in 25 years on Earth a female got upset I ma'am'ed her. My usual rule of thumb for females is: puberty/teenagers and above, I'll call you ma'am (except friends and people I know well and the relationship is casual); younger than teenager, "miss." Guys, regardless of age, will get sir'ed. I know for some women being called "ma'am" makes them feel old, but I find it respectful and was how I was raised. Everyone from the waitress to my doctor will get ma'am'ed; it's not so much a matter of social standing or age, but respect for me.

    Ladies of all ages: What do you prefer to be called? Does it matter based on your, ahem, age?

    Males, how do you address females?
     
  2. Distant Echo

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    Ok.....never ever ever ever ma'am or madam. Or miss.

    A friendly how are you going, or can I help you, or hello....but no ma'am, madam or miss on the end thanks.
     
  3. Burnedcloset

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    I say ma'am all the time.
     
  4. Natasha Elyssa

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    Out of habit from school, I say "miss" all the time. Mainly with teachers and girls I'm not acquainted with. :slight_smile:
     
  5. Robert

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    Where I live we manage without the "ma'am"s or "miss"s :slight_smile:
     
  6. kageshiro

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    I have no respect for ettiquite or chivalry so, I wouldnt use either. Don't take it personally, she's an ass for doing that when you went out of your way to be polite.
     
  7. Distant Echo

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    Lol I guess I'm an ass too...hate being ma'amed and I reply please don't ma'am me...makes me feel like my mother :wink:
     
  8. BriSoft

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    At this early point in my transition I would be happy with either :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  9. kageshiro

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    Its not about that, it's the way her attitude comes off as rude and condescending that makes her an ass.
     
    #9 kageshiro, Feb 11, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2016
  10. blueshadedsoul

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    Honestly I'd rather not get called either. Lol but it's just rude & unnecessary for her to reply like that.
     
  11. RainbowGreen

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    Where I'm from, miss isn't used anymore because it was considered sexist to have to know the marital status of females while with males, it wasn't important. So... everyone gets ma'amed, regardless of age or status.

    Still, I don't really use it, except if the person is way older than me.
     
  12. galaxygia

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    Fortunately I don't live deep enough in the south to be "ma'am"ed and "miss"ed a lot. I get called ma'am every so often, which irks me a little since I'm only fourteen, but I don't say anything about it.

    I also don't like being called ma'am or miss because it makes me feel like I'm time warped back to when women wore crazy corsets and had to stay in the kitchen. :/ Being called a lady also feels really wrong to me.

    Overall I don't really mind being called either but I'd prefer not to be. But if someone does say that to me I'll politely reply, because their intentions are usually good. :slight_smile:
     
  13. Kasey

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    I prefer being called miss, but strangely to my students in class I call them all ma'am. Hmmm.
     
  14. Jellal

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    I don't use either. It seems to make people feel awkward when they're referred to formally.

    I know I sure hate it...
     
  15. Rydia

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    As long as the person is being respectful I really don't care. Around here I get called "sweetie" or "miss" a lot, because people tend to think I'm a lot younger than I actually am. Unless it's on the phone, then about half the time it's "sir" lol Where I used to live it was kind of a thing for people, mostly younger people addressing women older than themselves to address them as Miss (whatever their first name is,) which I thought was kind of odd, but also kind of endearing.

    I really don't understand why people get so riled up about it and I think the whole "ma'am" is my mother thing is kind of rude and also a bit ageist, like it's some huge insult that someone might think you're old.

    I rarely actually say anything to someone I don't know. I usually just nod or smile if I feel like I need to acknowledge them in some way. Otherwise, I generally just say hi or hello or howdy or whatever seems appropriate with nothing behind it.
     
  16. ForNarnia

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    Not a fan of either, but miss is definitely preferable. It's easier to just omit the title of ma'am or miss altogether, though. I don't understand why it would offend anyone though.
     
  17. HM03

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    Yeah. Maybe if I was in a formal setting, but I rarely ever am.
     
  18. TobaccoFlower

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    The thing I've been seeing is that, yeah, down here in Texas, Ma'am is expected. In the south it's a pretty common thing to do. I don't think it's a huge deal, but because it's definitely a cultural phenomenon, it's possible that that woman in particular could have not been from the south originally. When I moved to Texas as a kid I NEVER called anyone ma'am or sir because it sounded sarcastic, like I was saying "your highness" or something. But over time it just becomes another way of saying hello. What are we supposed to say for non-binaries, though, now THAT is one that I don't always understand.
     
  19. larkcarmen

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    If I'm at a friend's house or something, I call the female adults ma'am. If I'm at school or another less casual/friendly place, I say miss. These are only for adults.
     
  20. YuriBunny

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    I never say either of those, and get uncomfortable if someone addresses me with either.

    ---------- Post added 15th Feb 2016 at 07:45 PM ----------

    Yeah, I guess it kind of feels that way to me too. I don't need my gender to be brought up in conversation; it shouldn't be something to refer to me by. I had to tell one of my teachers to please stop referring to me as a lady or 'young lady'.