Hey guys, I'm a senior in high school and yeah lol So anyway, Yesterday while me and my bros were having lunch, One of my friends told me that dude (let's call him dude) told him that I was bisexual so I was like no and then I acted like I wasn't bothered but I didn't think about it that much until after school. Dude approached me and told me that he heard that I was bi. This was how the conversation went: Dude: Hey, I heard that you were bi. Is that true? Me: Uh no? who told you? Dude: I dunno. Dude: But dude, seriously. Are you? (He wasn't mad, just curious) Me: dude no. Dude: Okay then he walked away. I got a little bit bothered because I don't know who told him that but I just don't know. So anyway, I'm not sure if they're homophobic. Me and my bros are pretty close but we don't really talk about sexuality that much. Some of them are Christians if that helps. Anyway, I don't know if I should tell them that I'm Bi because they might get mad at me or stop being friends with me. I really don't know because when I'm around them, We talk about boobs and stuff like that and ugh I really don't know what to do. It'd be awesome if someone replies to this thread lol.
Why don't you give it a shot? If he was just curious I don't think he would be non-supportive when you come out.
In my opinion, anyone who 'gets mad' at you or 'stops' being your friend because you came out IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. It is imperative that you consider other people's feelings and recognize that a disclosure of this nature can bring up complicated feelings in your friends. I always try to approach this topic in the most mature and nurturing manner possible. Giving friends time to comprehend and sink into their feelings is usually important, but anyone that remains flustered/angry or otherwise doesn't want to be your friend probably isn't your true friend. One of the uncomfortable but truly meaningful aspects of coming out is that you find out who your true friends are. It ain't easy, but its worth it. :eusa_danc, Trevor
I agree totally with omgwhatishappen. If they decide to stop hanging out with you just because you are bi, then they weren't really friends to begin with. Why would you want to be friends with people who only "like" you when you pretend to be something you're not? It takes too much energy to always having to be putting on an act around friends just to be accepted. Life is way more fun when you have a set of friends that like and accept you exactly as you are.
I agree as well. And you could easily go back to him and say "Hey, you know yesterday when I said I wasn't bi, well... that's true... I'm gay." That way you don't have to explain lying about it. But... be prepared that if you tell him, it will probably be all over school. That has advantages and disadvantages, just think it through before you do it.
I would that your response isn't uncommon... I would think coming out would be at your own pass and if a person asks you when your weren't prepared for it... a quick defensive "NO" would be common. i might believe if your friend or (dude) is asking, because they are "ok" with ur sexuality, but doesn't mean you have to share with him either the reason I feel this way is because when i asked my son if he know about his sexuality. He wasn't prepared for me to ask him that... and he gave me a quick NO I'm not. I'm straight. it took a year for him to feel comfortable telling me he was gay. So, i guess, this about "you" not him. it is your comfort level. this is your life and you have the right to be as open as you want or as private you would like.
Yeah I would tell him. I mean anyone who is truly your friend will think that you're a great guy. You are a senior so I guess you're finished with school in a few months anyway right? You will have the chance to maybe meet other guys too. Is there a chance the dude that asked you is gay or bi? He did ask you alone right? Maybe he wanted to come out to you. You can still talk about boobs too, I say go for it!
