I'm a college freshman. I have the most amazing roommate ever. She puts up with my weirdness and kills bugs for me. I realized a few days ago that I am gay. I haven't told anyone. The thing is, my roommate and I are planning on renting an apartment next year. I posted this problem in another feed, and the advice I got was to tell her before we sign the lease, which makes sense. She's fine with LGBTQ rights, but I don't know if she'd be fine living with a lesbian. How do I tell her? I don't want to weird her out or anything. We live in a dorm, so it's not unusual to see each other in not a lot of clothing. I don't ever check her out because she's more like a sister to me than anything. (And I didn't consciously start finding girls attractive until a few days ago.) I don't want her to be uncomfortable for the rest of the semester with living with me. How do I tell her? Help! Please! I don't want to lose her as a friend or as a roommate. What do I do?
Wait. Give yourself time to explore yourself. You've only known for a few days. You're not sharing an apartment till next year. Give it at least a few months...
I agree with inamirrordarkly that there doesn’t have to be a rush in telling her. It makes a lot of sense to just take a pause for a bit and reflect. When you do decide to tell her, I would just tell her exactly what you’ve told us, especially this part: It sounds like the two of you have a really great friendship going on. Chances are that it won’t bother her at all as long as you’re clear to her that you view her more like a family member than anything else. Friends of the opposite sex live together all the time in college without there having to be anything romantic going on. I don't see how this should be any different from that. Honesty and openness generally has a habit of building trust and deepening friendships – not weakening them.
Yes, wait a bit before bringing it up (agreeing with the above posters). When you do bring it up, you could initiate the conversation with something empowering to her, such as "Before we live together again, there is something I feel you deserve to know as someone who is like a sister to me..." to make it clear that you respect her boundaries. Then just say what you said here!
I would agree with previous posts, give yourself a little time to accept yourself and figure out exactly who you are. You said your friend is fine with LGBT rights? I'm sure she will be more understanding than you think. I went through a very similar thing last year with my best friend. We shared a flat, went to the gym together, got changed in front of one another etc etc. Like you I was sooo anxious and terrified. Yet, when I told him I was gay, all I got was 'I know'. I'm not saying that this is exactly what will happen with you BUT if you look at the evidence- you're friend is cool with gay people, she likes you for YOU (your personality, cool traits etc.) and is comfortable around you. Seems to me that even if she wasn't comfortable sharing a flat with you, she is not going to stop being your friend
