This is the idea that nice shy men are some how inferior to the Alpha male otherwise known as arseholes. The nice guys are boring and arseholes are fun. I am a shy introvert and regardless of what people say, I love this fact. Firstly I'm nice to other people, and I'm thoughtful. I think about shit before I do it. I can sit down and work quietly on things. It is the reason I achieved the stuff I have in my life. It really annoys me the way that society just tramples on introverts. They get discriminated against when looking for a job and they get put constantly down. For example being called a beta male. I am fed up of being told that who I am is wrong, that I need to become an extrovert. I appreciate that there are things that introvert need to learn how to do, such as learning to express oneself. But only in the same way extroverts need to learn to listen and not constantly talk while others are trying to. Anyone agree or disagree?
I don't think being "alpha" equals being extrovert although I think many so called alphas are extroverts. Neither do I think all "betas" are introverts either. To me the alpha vs. beta is more of an attitude than introversion vs. extroversion matter. And then I think there are a lot of people who don't really fit either category too well. I see myself more of an introvert than extrovert but I have no trouble asking for turn to talk when I feel I have something worthy saying. Being introvert is not the same thing as being shy. I think you confuse the two.
Yes but they are linked. It is possible to be not shy and an introvert. But my question still stands for shy introverts then. Or for just for shy people if you want to forget about introversion. Beta males are definitely linked with shyness though. Even if all are not shy.
Well, I for one don't think it's very thoughtful of you to call "alpha males" arseholes. Seems like a generalisation over there. You talk about introverts and extroverts as extremes it seems. Some introverts can actually express themselves, whereas some extroverts can actually listen.. =) I've never seen shy men as inferior, nor do I think people here see them as less. Might be a difference of place/environment.
Give me an example of an alpha male who isn't an arsehole. From what I understand of someone who dominates and belittles people is an arsehole. I never said that either couldn't. Only that is doesn't always come naturally for a lot of them (or at least that was what I meant to say). No but this place isn't representive of society as a whole.
If I look online at "what makes one alpha male", the traits doesn't seem to correspond with being an arsehole. For one, belittling people is not in there. It's about authority, not so much about domination. I see, that's what you meant to say. It wasn't obvious from your post in my opinion. =] I meant this place as in the places I've been in the Netherlands, not sure if you got that (I wasn't clear, sorry).
I think there's a difference between being introvert and being shy. I am both, but I think shyness is something everyone has a bit, even extroverts, depending on their surroundings, and it's something that should be worked out through your life. So I believe that alpha/beta classification is more related to those who are confident in their actions and those who lack confidence. Either way, I find this dual classification of men pretty stupid, because there's definitely more than 2 types of guys out there. While I do agree that extroversion in our society is seen as a better trait than introversion, I think that saying introverts suffer discrimination is a bit of an exaggeration. And I think there are arseholes and nice guys in both categories.
You know, when I first saw this thread I actually got all excited because I thought we were talking about betta fish. Which should tell you a lot about how bad my sinus headache is. Anyway... what's the point of generalizing either extroverted guys or introverted guys? Doesn't make you a better person either way. Being introverted myself, I'd like introverted guys to not be thought of as weirdos but it doesn't necessarily mean that more extroverted guys are automatically assholes either.
interesting subject, i think this term is used to determine ''who gets all the girls or has a lot of flirt leading to sex'' and ''the nice people that operate the wrong way in dates'' i have no knowledge of this term outside the dating system, i read posts of an ''alpha male'' the other day giving advice to other man on what to do and what not to do with woman, as i can really admit this guy was right about many things, because many things we usually do in such cases won't bring anything but angsty and mind-wreck, he was quite certainly assertive on most things but what also caught my attention was the comment section below his articles, a lot of people taking the entire ''alpha and beta'' way too far like almost going obsessed with it, i think there are just labels even though there might be stuff to learn from it, if you done well and most importantly you love the way you are then you don't have to change a single thing because of what others think, i liked those articles personally because i recognized a lot of stupid things i used to do with girls in my teen and early tween years so in fact i can learn to not do them again, however beyond that, i wouldn't even use the terms because used in plenty starts to sound a little childish, but to each their own
I think your view as to what constitutes as an alpha male is incredibly extrememe in comparison to most people's, so I'm not really sure whether or not I agree.
You're looking at one. I naturally tend to take on a leadership role in a lot of things. That doesn't mean I treat people like shit. "Alpha male" doesn't mean someone who just shoves people around and bullies them. Much like in a wolf pack, it's just someone who tends to be a leader.
I dont think alpha males are necessarily assholes. It seems like most people i know these days are alpha males, probably myself included. Many of them dont realize they are alpha males. I think the alpha male concept has more to do with leadership and character, standing up for what you believe in, than anything else. Individuality. There are plenty of alpha males out there fighting for those weaker than them. Nothing is wrong with being an introvert, but quite frankly, you seem to have a victim mentality which is a terrible mindset. Making excuses and blaming things on folks who are "alpha males" doesnt solve anybody's problems.
My boyfriend fits your definition a bit too much :roflmao: What makes one a beta male though? Everyone is using different definitions for the same word it's bloody confusing!
First, I'm not a fan of applying terms like "alpha" and "beta" to humans, since we're a bit more complex than wolves or chimpanzees, plus the way they're used online tend to be far removed from actual definitions. Second, introverted has nothing to do with submissiveness. True, many so-called alphas maintain a public facade, since socializing is key to succeeding, whether at work, when dating, or anything involving other people, really. Since introverts tend not to see the value of "being the life of the party", they're probably not going to be seen as natural leaders. Male introverts get stereotyped as "strong, quiet type", while females seem to learn how to blend in with more social types. In the US, anyway, extroverts are able to go most their lives without considering their way of operating isn't the way everyone does, since our culture takes it for granted. You might hear how Americans are loud, friendly, competitive. Very teamwork-oriented. Unfortunately, it means faking it to make it, sometimes. The battle is twofold, for people like us, since we have to adapt in a society that stresses gregariousness, but to deal with something everyone, even extroverts, struggles with: self-esteem. It's easier to tackle each issue one-by-one than to look at the huge mess and think how impossible it seems.
Hmm...I'd be careful about settling on that idea. I mean, maybe the whole alpha/beta male thing appears prevalent in media portrayal and common tropes - but men are far more complex than that. There is a lot more in between one and the other and it's no longer eat or be eaten. Extroverted, strong, sexy, men can have hearts of gold and great minds; introverted, scrawny, unattractive, men can be dumb and unpleasant to be around. And vice/versa! And qualities taken from both to form one! If you pigeonhole yourself in thinking that introverts are the only good people, then you miss as many good people on the other side. Like everything else in life, there is far more gray than black and white.
I do find your views a little bias. Not every Alpha is a jerk, and not every Beta is a nice guy. Also, Alphas are also trampled on as often as Betas, mainly because they speak up for themselves. I was both a alpha and beta female- I find the situation the same. When I was a beta, everyone trampled over me because I was an easy target and I had problems speaking up for myself. Now I'm an alpha, it's exactly the same thing for the opposite reason. In the end, there's nothing much seperating the two, really. It just depends on your viewpoint and your how you interact with your surroundings.