Hey everyone, could use some encouraging words at this point. I really don't seem to fall for many people, but I've put myself out there twice now and been rejected both times now. I'm not going to lie, I feel pretty crappy and I feel inadequate, hopeless, and like I should never put myself out there again. The first crush lasted about two years and I tortured myself that whole time period wondering if he was gay. I finally told him and he was nice, but said he was straight. I was stupid for waiting two years because I felt like I spent so much time stuck on a boy that I had no chance with. Then, just today, I put myself out there once again. This time I knew the guy was gay and I've had a crush on him for about a month now. I was at least smart enough to tell him my feelings soon after falling for him. He was as nice as he could possibly be and never really said "I"m not interested," but I could obviously get the hint. This one had less build up and my feelings aren't as strong, but I think it stings more because he is gay. I assume he has no physical attraction to me, which is completely understandable but it still sucks. How do you guys get over rejection? Like I said, I seem to fall hard and really down about the whole thing. Any help would be appreciated.
Yeah it does; no getting around it. However, it is infinitely better than the regret of knowing you didn't try and may have succeeded. That latter feeling is a mother. Rejection hurts, but unlike regret of not trying, it doesn't hurt forever.
Putting yourself out there like that was really brave and I admire you for that. I mean how do you even. It hurts now but I hope you don't lose your courage and allow yourself to be vulnerable again in the future. Because it's very likely that eventually someone will come along who reciprocates your feelings. Right now that isn't much of a consolation, I presume. Feeling unwanted hurts. There not much that can be done about that, except giving yourself time to heal.
Yeah, I'm trying to tell myself that because wondering "what if" would definitely be a terrible feeling. Thanks for the reply. I appreciate the response and hope that I am able to open up again. This is definitely going to sting for a little though, but I know I cannot let it get me down. It's just hard to think the rejection was not because there is something wrong with me. Hoping for the best in the future.
Wow, I'm going through the same situation. Guys suck. Don't blame yourself if they aren't interested. It's their loss not yours. My best advice would be to go in with no expectations. Don't expect them to go head over heels for you, or to shoot through hoops for you. I think what may help is being quick and clear about your intentions from the start. You can cut your losses much easier and quicker. Soon enough, you may be desensitized to the feeling of rejection. Don't give up hope. Not a lot of guys are brave enough to say they are interested in anyone face to face.
I try to think it from more impersonal perspective. I'm not attracted to everyone for various of reasons. Some people are not my type, others have the looks but I don't like the personality and sometimes I just can't tell why I'm not interested. Just because this guy turned you down does not mean that you should take it too personally. After all, you would not be interested in just about anyone either. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, it just means that your properties and his preferences were not a very good match and that is normal. Obviously it always stings a little but seeing it this way helps me a lot.
It's not a matter of how, imo, but of when do we get over rejection. It tends to take longer periods when we're young. At least for me. I've been rejected many times and I usually get angry. I channel that anger into somethign useful like cooking, playing chess(yeah, ikr, I do get violent when I play though) or having long 5-6 hours walk to rethink life. o_o' Try and try again, that's all. Eventually it'll all work out. If not, kidnapping is always a possibility.
