Share! Why don't/won't you get a partner and/or sex?

I see lots of different reasons, and I can sympathize with most of them, as I know them way too well. I have been trying to break these fears and hang-ups in the past years, but I've only had shorter periods of success. I'm a little bit more open with people and maybe care a little less about what they might think of me, but no drastic improvement. I'm also seeing a psychologist, she might help to shed some light on the real issues or help to change things.

As Euler said in this thread, this list is quite negative. So let's change it a little bit: after each of your problems, write possible solutions! These can be things you've tried or things you cantry in the future. Let's see mine:

1. Physical non-attractiveness: I can lose weight, put on some muscle, take better care of my skin and hair, I can improve my posture with exercise and yoga. I can't really do much with my face, maybe the rest of me can make up for it? I don't know...

2. Social anxiety and awkwardness: I can go out more with my friends or even with my colleagues, I can observe their social behavior and learn from them, I can read books about social interactions then put it to practical use.

3. Sexual hang-ups: I can talk with my friends about sex, maybe open up more about my sexual past (or the lack of it to be precise). This one is tricky, I don't know if any of these would work. Maybe having sex would eliminate these fears and hang-ups, but I can't really have sex until I get rid of them! Any idea?

4. Can't express emotions: Practice maybe? I can start to say I like you or I love you to my friends and family... Or I can stop avoiding fights and quarrels, and let out my anger.

5. Fearful of physical contact: Also practice? I don't know. Ideas, please!

6. Fear of chasing people away with my world-view: Maybe opening up to a friend would help. It's like coming out from another closet.

7. Inexperience: I can start to actively gather information about a lot of things, but it would be a slow process.

---​

Those who have already answered, can write their possible solutions in another list like I did. Those who answer from now on can put their problem-solution list together and see what we can get!

 

Ok let's do this.

1. Looks: I could pay more attention to my appearance, exercise more and such, but honestly I'm in a place in my life where it's not possible for me to worry about these things. It's not my main concern, though. I know plenty of average and homely looking people in happy relationships.

2. Mental illnes: I have my therapist and I have my meds it's not like I don't want to get better.

3. Sex issues: I either get over them through intimacy with someone I trust and care about, or learn that I don't enjoy sex that much.

4. Emotional repression: I'm already trying to work on that yay! It's hard though. Little by little.

5. Aloofness: I could try to be more expressive around new people. Or adopt more cats.

Wow it doesn't look easy. But well, it's time to improve myself I guess.