im a BI and no one knows about it. i have an uncle and whenever he visits our country and we having fun together along with my other cousins he always say good things to me like i like your hair, i like your smile, i like your body and your skin tone i mean WTF! he even said i like your face its so beautiful and touch it like how man touches his gf face and he even touch my lips yeah he TOUCHED MY LIPS. when we first met i thought its just normal like ok maybe its their culture but the last time we have fun its gets weird when he touch my lips it feels like he want to kiss it, it bothers me coz he is my uncle (if not im sure i will like it LOLS!) so how can i avoid that awkward moments again without telling him to fuck off or i dont like what his doing, without hurting his feelings or whatever just to keep him away from doing that to me. i dont want him to feel like im avoiding him either. oh and my cousin did worst but noting happened. is it just me who give wrong interpretation about my uncle? PS: he'll come to visit us soon.
Okay what he is doing to you is wrong, and if you feel uncomfortable about it you have every right to tell him to stop. You can tell your parents. But he should not be touching you like that, especially since he is your uncle. You need to tell him to stop or tell your parents about it.
na im a grown up. besides telling it to my parents will just makes things worst so better not. i know i can say it straight to his face just dont know when and how and i dont wanna make a scene. oh btw we are not blood related he is my aunt husband (in our country we used to call the spouse of our family uncle/aunt) hmmm maybe refuse to invites will do? ill just tell them im busy?
OMG, as much as it's a fantasy of mine, the last thing on my mind is having an AFFAIR with my aunt's husband :|||
One word: Boundaries. Your uncle seems to lack boundaries. It’s not just you – it’s him. It isn’t ok for him to be making the comments he’s making and it especially isn’t ok for him to be touching you unless you’re inviting it. You should tell him flat out: “While I know you love me and have good intentions, your comments and advances are not necessary and I don’t appreciate them. I want us to be able to have a healthy family relationship, so please keep these comments to yourself and be respectful of my space.” Will it be awkward to tell him that? You bet it will. But this is the type of thing you don’t want to beat around the bush about. He doesn’t seem capable of creating boundaries of his own, so you need to create boundaries FOR him. As an aside – if you’re ever uncomfortable being around him, just make sure there’s always someone else around. Don’t put yourself into a vulnerable situation by being alone with him. I’m not implying that he would ever do anything – he probably wouldn’t – but you might as well just take that option off the table completely. Good luck.
What country is your "uncle" from? I do know that some non-Western cultures may have different concept of where is the personal space and when it's OK to break them.
he is from South Carolina. oh and if its in their culture to ask for a kiss when saying goodbyes? ---------- Post added 23rd Jan 2016 at 05:49 PM ---------- will try to do it lols. i dont know i never been in this situation but sure ill try.
Yeah, no. This is very much weird. In some countries giving goodbye kisses between family members is normal but the US is not one of those places. Does he do this in front of other family members or just when you two are alone? Tell him that you don't appreciate him violating your personal space. Personally, I would be freaked out if my uncle did this and probably punched him if he attempted anything.
he did the compliments when were having fun but mostly its when just the two of us talking but surrounded by other guests. oh and the kissing part is not my uncle its my cousin who is from the same country we always been together and share the same bed whenever i visit him. my cousin and i have different story and i already confronted him about that so no more sleep on the same bed or room or goodbye kiss even saying "i love you" on the phone coz he wont drop the call till i say it even if i cut it he will just call me again.
Okay can I just say when you keep saying country it is very misleading. If all your family lives in the US then you live in the States. Now correct me if I'm wrong but in most places in the US incest is very frowned upon. This is not a matter of being from different "countries" especially when they're not. This is a matter of family members lacking boundaries. It needs to stop ESPECIALLY if it makes you feel uncomfortable. There is no question about it, you need to get yourself out of that situation immediately. Tell your parents, heck tell your aunt!! See how she feels about this.
oh ok noted ill use the term "states" im from Asia and they are from USA. ok ill just try to avoid him and if it didn't worked, ill confront him first and if he still do the same thing then thats it ill tell it his wife.
If confronting him is difficult (which I'm sure it is for everyone), then try to be careful not to be around him next time, or be in a situation where the two of you are alone. If that situation inevitably happens, then brush him off when he makes inappropriate comments, and keep a physical distance. Don't just smile weakly at his "compliments", but just ignore it and act coldly. Hopefully he will get the message, but if he doesn't and instead he escalates his behavior, then you can really confront him and tell him to stop.
