I wasn't sure where the hell to put this post at. Anyway on Tuesday night, me and this guy had chilled. I think I mentioned about him. I somewhat had feelings towards him. I mean he seemed to be a guy that fit my preferences I talk about. He's 25, youngish looking, White, upper class(really upper upper class). I had a vibe he was bi or bi curious or something like myself. I mean I had a vibe he was when he was asking me to hang out with him and he was going to pay for the tab. We did hang out, he picked up on campus from the library. He had a badass car. A Black Maserrati Grand Turismo. I mean I had a vibe, that this guy was "the one." This guy was a little more richer than AM, Travis, and any guy I had feelings towards in the past. We chilled at one bar. We had some Spanish red wine, then some mixed drinks. A few shots. And then went to his place. He has an appartment in the same complex as the bars. We then went back to an another bar and got super trashed. I mean, it was probably bad judgement on our parts. And then shit got a little fuzzy. I don't know, how I got back to campus. I didn't use Uber or Lyft or YellowCab. My friend didn't drop me off, because he always told me he doesn't drive drunk. And the walk from the bar to campus is about 1/2-1 mile. I couldn't find my damn key to my dorm, so I had to call the on call RA to help me out. I did get a spare key to open my place. I don't know how this happen but a cop came to my room. I mean a University Cop. The cop was some tall White guy(late 40/mid 50s). He asked me how much I drank and where did I go. I just told him I was at my friend's place and had a couple of drinks. The cop had my ID cards(University and State ID), I assume check my age. He thought I was on drugs which I denied. He saw I had my Hydroxzine Rx and thought I took it. I told him I took it over 15-16 hours prior not a night. I do recall the cop said he didn't care if I was intoxicated, he just wanted to know how much I drank. The cop didn't cite me or arrest me, but I don't know why he was called. I wasn't pissed blacked out drunk nor was I puking or pissing in public. I did need an RA to get me a spare key because I couldn't find my room key. I don't know if got busted with my hall or not. I didn't receive no documentation from the RA guy that was there with me. I didn't receive no citation from the University police. I wasn't drinking and getting drunk on campus, I was walking back to campus a bit tipsy. No EMS was called, I wasn't arrest or cited by the University PD. I'm unsure if I'm in the clear or not or whatever, but I will just to check my inbox from anything from the housing office. I mean, I'm over 21 and I know I can legally drink(I'm from the United States and the state of Texas). My hall is technically "alcohol free" but I do see people party and drink there. I had my share of partying there at the dorm and such. I'm unsure if I'm "in trouble" or not. I know that having drugs is "more bad" than showing up drunk to the dorm because people can get their ass evicted. I do recall that I didn't hear the RA or the cop saying about write ups or anything, but I do assume that RA guy may or may not have to write an incident report. To the best of my knowledge, he didn't say he was going to or not. I wasn't drunk like I needed an EMS, I was drunk but walkable and able to talk coherently to the cop and RA guy.
Given that you are over 21 and didn't consume alcohol in the dorm, you are probably fine and not in jeopardy of discipline from the university. Having said that, you are guilty of bad judgment in that you got totally trashed with this guy to the point of not remembering how you got home. You are lucky that you got home safely. Consider this a wake up call that it's time to start to be more careful about drinking to excess, especially with your crush.
I wasn't arrested(thank God). I mean there was a cop, I recall he just asked how much I drank. I do recall he said he didn't care if I was intoxicated. I was honest and said I had 4-5 drinks which I was estimating. The cop just asked me to return the spare key back and everything. That guy isn't bi or whatever. I mean, I had a vibe he was bi or wanted to be more than just friends. I mean, he texts me up to hang out with him. He picks me up in a Mazerrati. He pays for our tab at the bars. I felt a slight bi vibe. He told me he's not gay and has a girlfriend(off an on). But I just felt like he had some feelings. Is it normal for guys to just pay for tabs for other guys. Then my whole emotions are so fucked up, because this guy had fit the preference for guys I like. I mean youngish looking, 20-something, White, upper class. He drove in a Mazerrati Grand Trusimo. That's isn't no Ford Pinto. That's a 75K+ car. He lives in an upscale appartment(pays 2k a month). He dresses well. I felt like I had some connection to him(platonic and emotional maybe sexual). I don't see myself as gay or straight purely but with some bi tendencies.
I'm having trouble believing that you had 4-5 drinks and got so shitfaced you forgot how you got home. It has been my experience that it takes way more. Given that this guy comes from money, perhaps he feels powerful by picking up the tab. Maybe he needs to pick up the tab because people won't like him otherwise. Maybe he's a genuinely nice guy. There could be a number of reasons why he picks up the tab. You are probably better off trying to hook up with other bi or gay guys.
I agree with SiennaFire. Most people grossly underestimate (or don't want to admit) how much they have had to drink when they've been drunk. My guess as to why the cop came is that you're in an alcohol-free dorm. Many colleges have instituted alcohol and drug-free dorms for students who are in recovery. I don't know what the policy for your dorm is, but in many of them, "alcohol free" means that you don't consume alcohol at all, whether on or off campus. So you may have violated that policy and be asked to move to a different dorm... that or they'll ask you to go into a recovery program. It's also remotely possible that he put something in your drink. Perhaps the RA saw behavior s/he was concerned about and that's why it was reported. As far as the guy... I wouldn't totally rule him out, but it would probably be sensible to spend some time sober with him and get to know him and what he's about. If the only think he's interested in doing is getting drunk... he's probably a bad choice.
I recall the cop had said he didn't care how intoxicated I was, just wanted to know how much I drank. I had guest estimated 4-5 or 6 or so. He had assumed I took my meds at the same time, which I didn't. He did get my IDs but I assume to check if I had warrants and of age. I didn't receive no ticket or citation or arrest. I wasn't drinking and getting drunk in the dorm per se. The dorm is an alcohol free dorm but a private company owns it but it's on university land though. I mean I wasn't belligerent nor did I need medical assistance. There was no EMS or emergency medical staff at my dorm, just one University cop. He just had my IDs and asked a few question. He asked where I was at, how I go to campus, how much I drank. He didn't arrest me or anything. No ticket or citation. There was an RA at my room but he just wanted the spare key back. I haven't received any notice from the hall staff or from the university itself. I mean it's a bit of a grey area if I'm over 21 and was drunk in the dorm but no alcohol present. I just wanted a spare key to get to my room that's all. I wasn't starting fights or loud or rude. I mean if I was cooperating with the cop and he didn't care if I was drunk and asked how much I drank, I assume the cop was a "good cop" and not the asshole bad cop. I don't think I would get anything bad out of it. I mean, my dorm looks at drugs as a bigger no no than booze. My friend Travis lived in the same place as me last year, and he got evicted from a little weed. The recovery program, if I've been in/out of recovery myself. That's a story for another time. And about that guy. He's not gay. He's mostly straight but I had a sense of a vibe he was bi. I mean it's a complicated issue on that in a sense, I had some feelings towards him because he matched my preference for guys I preferred basically.
It does not sound like you would be facing any disciplinary action from the house. The cop sounds like he was just concerned of your well-being. Having said that it does not sound like you and alcohol mix well. If you are so drunk you can't remember events that happened in the past hour something is not quite right. Either you drank way too much or someone added something to your drink. Based on what you have written before and this passage I would say you might be guilty of wishful thinking ie because the guy fits your desired "sketch" you are looking for any signs that might be vaguely interpreted that he is interested in you sexually/romantically. Dunno about the states but at least in here it is very common among friends or people who wish to signal they want to be your friends. It's interesting you feel the need to stress that.
I think I'm somewhat in the clear. I haven't received any notice from my hall or from the university's dean/student judicial office yet. I mean I recall the cop that was there in my room didn't cite me. If the RA wrote me up that's another story but I don't see really what he could do. I didn't drink in my room nor was I passed out drunk. I only needed an RA at first was because I lost my key when I came back from my friend's place. No EMS was called, I didn't have alcohol poisoning or suicidal. I didn't hurt myself or other people. I didn't break anything in my hall or cause any violence. I just recall the cop asked how much I drank and I remember(I swear to God that's what I heard, he didn't care if I was intoxicated). I was in my room when he talked to me, he didn't cite me right there and then is beyond me. My hall is really vague on sanctions besides drugs. Basically what I know from people who lived there last, if anyone even has something like less than a gram of weed, you'd get your ass evicted. Alcohol and showing up drunk off your ass, the sanctions are vague. I mean I've read my hall's policies at least 5 times already. It just says it's "serious" but doesn't say how bad. The punishment for drugs is underlined in bold and it's specific you would get your ass evicted.
Be careful. Don't drink so much again. You blacked out, and when that happens you put yourself in danger. It's extremely dangerous to be in that state. While blacked out, you have essentially zero judgment. You say and do stupid, crazy things, and then you don't remember any of it. Your memory is impaired, so you may not even know you are drunk during the blackout. The fact that the police got involved means that you must've done something pretty outrageous. You might not remember it, but I guarantee you did something really, really stupid on that walk home. Next time you drink, if you drink again, make sure you count and keep track of your drinks. You really do not want that to happen again.
I didn't walk back to campus. My friend and I had pieced together shit that night. We aren't mad or anything now. We cleared things up. We had hit a second bar and stayed till last call. He did say I was "cut off" and had been drinking water and just a little annoying but chill somewhat. He didn't drive me back he was helping some guy and a girl out back to the car. I had stayed and chilled with someone people that he believes I rode with. We agreed there was no way I walked back to campus drunk. I wasn't drugged or anything. In regards to the police at my dorm, I wasn't arrested nor cited. My hall is a private hall and a lot of shit does slide there. I mean, my floor smells super dank every night. I smell the weed smell through my vents. I know from people I used to hang out with at the hall, that drugs are more of a no-no than getting fucked up or having booze I believe. If you have a bong and weed there, they will evict you. The policies are vague on what it would be for intoxication. Since I am over 21 and not a minor, it might be a little slap on the wrist. I mean the HD might be a little piss, I'll just say I was sorry and take responsibility like a man. It's been 4 days and I haven't heard anything back, but I'll wait though. I had mentioned earlier in my posts that I had assumed my friend was bi. I never asked if he was bi. I asked if he was gay, he said no. He has some quasi fling with his ex-girlfriend. Borderline FWB or so. The reason why I had a sense of a "bi vibe" from him because he seemed adamant to invite me out for the night. He said he was paying for the bar tab and the drinks were on him. I mean the night seemed like a borderlline date. And added to equation, this guy seemed to be some perfect match for a guy preference I like: White, preppy(this dude is super loaded), youngish looking. He wasn't blonde just short grey hair. So I did feel a bit turned on slightly that may "be the guy" I've waited for. He picks me up in a 75k Mazerrati Grand Trusimo. He wasn't making any verbal overtures like he wanted to be more than just friends, but I just felt some vibe like he was bi. Maybe the perception I felt towards him since he had fit my preference and added to the equation he "invited" me out, I felt inclined to join up and maybe I felt like he wanted to spend the night together.
Dude, objectively there was nothing to suggest that he would be interested in you in any other way than being a friend. You saw those "signals" because you wanted to see them. If he can afford to drive in a $75k car, sure he can afford to buy a few drinks to his friends.
From someone who's been scarily inebriated on a number of occasions, I think I can make a safe assumption as to what happened: You went out with a buddy, got really, really wasted, then from the place of inebriation you and your buddy parted ways and you wandered back to the dorm, where in your drunken stupor you realized you were keyless and called the appropriate person for help. Now, one of two things happened next: Scenario 1: The key person shows up, sees how shitfaced you are and when you get back into your room they call campus security to check on you. Scenario 2: You throw up in front of the key person, perhaps in the vicinity of the cop in question who after you're let into your room comes to check on you. Either scenario's not really a big deal, the puke (if applicable) was cleaned up by a janitor who's paid to do that sort of thing and you wake up several hours after everyone on campus who may have been around that evening has forgotten about the incident. I highly doubt that campus security is going to rat you out to the dean-- they're unhappy enough about their place in life because they probably didn't go to college and don't really give a good god damn about the students, they just like looking at the college girls and getting to carry a weapon. I had a similar experience once with a certain 'leaf' if you will; which upon intoxication I became filled with a sense of absolute dread, terror and paranoia. My blood ran cold with fear, I thought I was freezing to death. Of course it was late April so it was warm out and of course I was not at home when I partook of the leaf, but I had to walk more than two miles home. In the dark. While under the influence and scared out of my mind so bad that I discovered the next morning I'd pissed my pants. But I made it home and I eventually recovered and nobody said anything about it. There were no cops chasing me, no muggers trying to take advantage of my inebriated state, nor did I see anyone, save a night jogger on my terrifying trek home when I thought for sure I'd wake up in a jail cell because I thought they'd find me screaming that the world was ending in a gutter. Shit happens.
Or his parents can afford to buy him or let him use a $75k car and give him money such that he can afford to buy drinks for friends. Bear in mind that the more money you have, the more that your definitions or views on spending it change. For this guy, that car and the money spent on drinks may not mean anything much just because he's always had access to that kind of stuff (or has had access to it long enough that he takes it for granted). The car is just something he drives and he doesn't think about it any more than the rest of us think about driving a Honda or the like. Todd
@Benway I'm leaning towards scenario 1 as a good possibility. I recall I had called an RA on call on my phone because I had lost my key and I needed a spare to access my room. I was a bit trashed but I didn't pass out. I recall for sure that I was at my college's library trying to charge my phone at the phone charge station. The library is open 24/7 during the school week. Anyway, I was walking through campus trashed from the library. I wasn't stopped by a cop while walking. I don't think I puked or anything because I would've had residue on my jeans or shirt from that night, I didn't. I do live in a "private dorm" on campus. I mean a private company owns it but we still have to follow the college's conduct policies. I mean they do let a lot of shit slide though: I used to smoke "a certain leaf" myself there almost every day last Spring and Fall 2014 with my buddies and did drink them. And even my floor in which I live at the present, has the dank smell every time I come back from the library. I don't think I would get evicted from my dorm for getting shitfaced. I'm over 21 and not a minor. I wasn't fighting or breaking shit or suicidal while under the influence. I was cooperative to the RA and cop. I know the cop said something he didn't care if I was drunk just wanted to know how much I drank. I mean, there is a slight possibility I may get a letter to talk to the hall director over my little screw up. Then again, it's been almost a week and they haven't send me any notices through email. There was no arrest or citation or ticket. No EMS was called, just a cop. But maybe the RA called the cop because I was drunk. @AKTodd. Actually he's adopted and that's another story. I never asked why he was so generous, I'd assumed he wanted to be "more than just friends" from the overtures and vibe I had. Maybe because his access to money, he's just nice to friends and girlfriends or whatever and pays everything.
When you say 'cop' do you mean a card carrying member of the fraternal brotherhood of police-- that is, the boys in blue? Or do you mean a security guard, or in this case, campus security as they like to be called-- usually a meathead with hair buzzed down to the bone and wears douchey sunglasses because he failed the police academy? They're two very different things. A cop can put you in handcuffs. Campus security can write you up after filling out the appropriate forms which he's probably not going to do because he doesn't understand paperwork because he failed police academy. I'm just curious.
He wasn't a city cop. I'm sure he was a UPD(University Police). Not all of them are the police academy rejects, a good portion are licensed Texas peace officers that do have authority to arrest. I can tell at my college who's a guard or cop. Younger guys are guards, older guys are cops. The guy that was at my room that early morning was an older white guy(early 50s). He looked professional not shit bird police academy type. But he didn't arrest or ticket me. He did ask how much I drank but I swear to God, he said he didn't care I was intoxicated. He asked where I been and I told him. He did ask I return the spare key I had back to the RA that was present there.
I can give you guys an update finally. I'm not dealing with no legal issues with the school. I reached out to a guy that's in charge of a recovery center here on campus that I used to be affiliate with. If you all read any of other posts, you'd learned that's where I met Travis. Anyway, the guy there had told me had advocated in my behalf for me and talked with the University police. Basically, I'm good but don't fuck up again. He just told me that I had showed up intoxicated, people were just concerned for me there at the dorm that's all. This guy is a good guy and he's in recovery himself. I look up to him somewhat as an older cousin figure somewhat.
