I recently came out to my parents and it was fine. They were great and supportive and loving. however, they were clear that they didn't want me to tell anybody else that i am a lesbian. Lately, i feel as though this secret about myself has put a strain on my friendships and i am no longer close with any of them. I don't have anybody to confide in. I am close with my younger sister and i want to come out to her. I need somebody to talk to. I feel so alone in everything right now. My parents specifically told me not to come out to my sister. She is 13 years old (Im 16) and she is known to be very emotional and dramatic. I think that my parents are afraid that my sister cant handle knowing that im gay. Should i come out to her? I dont know what to do anymore.
Hello! I'd wait. 13 sounds like a very immature age. In particular if you say that your sister is very emotional and dramatic. She probably can handle the fact that you are not straight. After all, she is being a teenager in a time when homophobia is normally seen as a bad thing. But of course, you know more about her enviroment than I do. Your parents sound like they don't want you to be lesbian. They may have been supportive with you when you came out, but there is a thing some people actually believe: queer/LGBT+ people deserve understanding and love, but not support. They have a problem and it needs to be fixed like a mental problem but they can only do it with the help of close family and friends. I know it is a very extremist position, but maybe your parents agree, in some point? And they plan on sending you to teraphy? And they don't want you to tell your friends because they feel like they won't think the same way. And for your sister, they might think she won't understand it or something. Really. It's in a book a man wrote like 20 years ago and he's famous for being extremely homophobic and sexist and a stupid in general. And as far as I know, he wins money out of it. Ugh. Why don't you tell a friend instead? You've said you didn't feel close to any of them. Do you have a whatsapp group or something like that, where they all chat together? A person in my group came out to us that way and it was a very cool way to do it. But he waited until we all were online, so we could all read it from him at the same time and react at the same time. If you don't have something like that, why don't you talk to one of them personally? Has any of your friends stated an opinion in the subject? What do they think? Do any of them have queer/LGBT+ relatives or friends? These are questions you can make to yourself to see if there is someone close to you you can trust on and who will almost surely support you. I don't know why your parents don't want you to tell anyone. If it's not the theory I wrote up there, maybe they still think it is something to be ashamed of? Or maybe they want to protect you because they think everyone will want to hurt you? I wonder if they are so supportive as you say, how do they think you will ever get a girlfriend if you just keep your secret at home. Hope this was useful. here is a banana dancing (!)
