I'm feeling really depressed/suicidal right now. I am experiencing extreme gender dysphoria and depression. I have attempted suicide twice before, so I am afraid I might attempt again. I can't transition for awhile, I am probably going to be stuck in Kansas that dosent allow you to change your gender/has no protections. My dad will probably disown me when I come out as trans (he already has zero tolerance for me being bi). I do see a therapist and am on antidepressants, but I am still feeling horrible. What do I do?
First of all, please don't consider harming yourself. It is not healthy and there are people who love you and care about you. (*hug*) You are 16 years old. So you probably have some years before you can move out, by going to college somewhere else or something. Since you mention you live in a homophobic and Transphobic father there isn't a chance for you to come out and get acceptance from him. But what about the rest of your family? Are they supportive? It's good you have a therapist you can talk to. That's really good. It gives you an outlet to express your feelings and your anguish.
Life gets better. It really does. Some people will say your teenage years are the happiest of your life. That is because they remember them with the nostalgia of middle or old age. It generally isn't true. So don't despair. Just hold on in there. And think of, and plan for, the better future you will have.
Hello, justine. I'm sorry you're in pain and things are so rough. You're facing something very difficult and it's not surprising you feel 'horrible.' I'm so sorry your father isn't (or won't be) supportive at all. You deserve his support. Talk about it. Please, talk about it. Tell your therapist, of course, but not only. It helps, having someone who will listen. Don't bottle these things up, don't be afraid to reach out. It's very good that you posted here. Is there anyone else you can turn to? A friend or family member you can trust? Whether that's the case or not, feel free to message me, or another staff member. If you want to talk out loud, don't hesitate to call the Trevor Lifeline at (866-488-7386) or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255). They will listen. I know it seems like things won't get better in the foreseeable future. You're still dependent on your father, who is unsupportive. One way to deal with this is to recognize that it is temporary. It's difficult and painful, but temporary. You will eventually move out, you will eventually surround yourself with supportive people. Every day brings you closer to the day when you will transition. Things look dark now, but it won't always be this way. Stay strong. We're here for you. You're doing the right thing by posting about this.
Thanks for your your encouragement. I was having a crisis yesterday, but I was able to contact some friends who were able to calm me down. I am doing better today.
Hey, that's great! It has already been said, and i know it is totally cliché, but it really gets better. You are still young. I everything seems really dark now, but, trust me, the future is totally worth it! Be strong, and keep talking to us
I'm really glad to hear that. Those friends must be special. (*hug*) Good luck for the future, and don't hesitate to post this sort of thread again whenever you need to.
