I Really Messed Up!

I posted about being heart broken not to long ago and this is sort of a carry over...

We started back talking (friendly conversation) but he would always end up saying something really rude or cruel and make fun of my feelings and what had happened in the past. One day my emotions were really high and he made a very crazy comment "Its funny how you care about me, isn't it obvious that I do not give a damn about your personal life, all you are allowed access to is our friendship and nothing else" That hurt me all over again and I was so angry that I made up a lie, I told him that I had evidence and that I would expose him if he didn't return all the things that I had bought him. I was really upset and angry and I made a terrible mistake, once in the past his EX girlfriend questioned me and asked if him and I had ever been involved and in the past I told her no, but that night on the way to get the things back I called her crying and I told her that I lied in the past and that we did actually have a thing going on.
He told me to come and get everything ASAP, so that night I went and I met with him and he gave me back everything that I had ever bought him and he said "Now that I gave you everything back, you will not hear from me ever again" we then exchanged words and we went our seperate ways. He blocked me on everything, his phone and all social media that night.
2 months went by and one day at the gym I noticed him and I decided to walk up to him and say hello, (I know, crazy but we had history and I still cared about him) so I walked up to him after I was finished working out and I spoke, he followed me outside and I apologized for my past actions. he said "Its okay, I apologize as well but the circumstances have changed, we will always be cool but we need to go separate ways" but then he said "I need a little more time but I will meet with you and we can have a conversation, I promise" we then went out separate ways.
The next day he emailed me and said "Before I agree to talk, What all did you tell HER and what all did she say" I told him that I would rather not talk over email and I would tell him anything he wanted to know in person and he responded "Forget I asked the question, It was really nice seeing you at the gym, I am glad you are still working on your fitness, keep it up, Ill be in touch"
2 days later he basically emailed me and said "I am not going to waste your time, I will not be meeting and I will not be talking about any of this anymore because its behind me, If it wasn't for you and everything you did for me in the past I wouldn't be where I am today, when I get on my feet I am going to give you back way more than what I owe you and I am going to be a blessing to you, I wont respond after this email, Ill be in touch"
He then changed his phone number, I was confused I thought that maybe we could fix things and work on a friendship because before everything went south we had a good relationship so I emailed him at least once a day and he would always open them (my phone alerts me when my emails are received and opened) but he never would respond. a couple days ago I sent an email and it was returned, he deleted his email account.
I am mainly writing this as a form of therapy I guess, I really do care about him and I really did want to work on a friendship and he seemed to be open to it but then backed out and completely cut any source of communication.
Anyways, If you took the time to read all of that, thanks! I know that chances are extremely slim of a friendship now, I feel deep down that he cares about me but I am extremely hurt that I "exposed" him in my time of pain and anger and I cant forgive myself for doing that.

-Matthew