I'm so very lonely and I hate my life

Come on..You are only 28. Your life doesnt end here.
First of all you cant face all problems at the same time. Whats more important? Your job? Your personal life? Find your first priority and move on. Step by step.
But seriously you said you are five years single.. thats for me is something unnatural. I mean I think that you create problems in order to have something to complain. Fix your professional issues, go out make new friends, do something for your self.otherwise its not a bad idea to visit a therapist if you feel so desparate..

 

Hey : (*hug*)

I completely understand what you are living right now as I'm in a similar situation.

But asdf1988 is right we have to choose one direction and take small steps to fix things. Isolation and immobilism wont solve anything.

My first choice was to begin a behavioral therapy with a psychologist and even if it ask a lot of patience it really helps.

Hope this can be of any comfort for you.

 

Hey, you should'nt be so hard on yourself. Stop comparing yourself to your friends, just be happy for them. I don't want to point out the obvious, but it looks like you don't love yourself. You keep degrading yourself by your 'faults' being fat, weird, and a loner-which some people may be attracted to.

How the hell are you going to expect someone to like you if you don't like yourself? If there's aspects about yourself you don't like, change them! If you can't, accept them and work with what you have. If that means losing weight, changing your look, or going out of your way to meet people, then so be it, but do it for YOURSELF and not for others' approval.

I'm sure you have great qualities, focus on that. Your friends aren't perfect and neither are you. You're time will come, the greatest and most beautiful flower of them all blooms last. And that's coming from someone who's never been in a relationship.

 

I was single from 21 - 29, so definitely can understand your situation, and can even hear myself from back then in your words. When seeing someone I thought was attractive, my first thoughts were how they probably wouldn't be interested in me, and this self-defeating mindset helped hinder me from being with anyone. Sometime around the age of 29, something in me changed, and managed to get the self-defeating thoughts out of my head, and it seems others responded as I managed to have a social life at that point. Wish I had something more concrete to tell you, but wishing you the best and warm thoughts.

 

I couldn't agree more with Ravi. Focus on you first, and I guarantee you will find someone once you build more confidence and a better self image. I get it though, and you're not alone in feeling this way. As someone who was chronically single their whole life until recently, I felt envious of my friends in relationship and often times completely hopeless. Like Ravi said, learn to accept things you don't like about yourself or work on changing them. Once you're more comfortable, put yourself out there. You WILL find someone if you make an effort. Some people get lucky and find somebody with no problems, but for most people it isn't that easy. Especially for us gays. Join an LGBT group or sports team, go to a gay bar, make an online dating account, see if any of your friends know anyone who's gay that could set you up, download a dating app, whatever you're comfortable with. I'm sorry about your situation, it sucks, it really does. But self pity won't make anything better. You deserve happiness and I hope you find it!

 

I'm in my mid twenties too. I graduated with a university degree 2 years ago but have gone through 4 jobs and am searching for one currently. I still live with my parents and am dependent on them for money. My plan of moving out has been put on hold for a year or two and I can't do anything about it. I've never been in a relationship and haven't met any guys or girls who are pro LGBT+ or even supportive. I live in a homophobic environment.

I'm pretty sure I won't be in a relationship or find a supportive guy till I move out to another place. But it's going to take time. And I'm looking at the positive side here. (*hug*). Everything will be alright. I tell that to myself everyday and stay optimistic. I can't be alone forever, I won't be. I know I won't be.

Positive affirmation is something that I consider to be quite influential and powerful. It gives you an emotional boost even if you don't realize it. Think of small things that make you happy and let those guide you. You will be truly happy. It'll happen. That's certain. Just be patient and happy while you wait for it. That'll make the result even better.

 

Well said! Honestly man, just keep moving on
I know how you feel and things WILL eventually get better, now or later.
Stay Strong and Stay Awesome

 

Solidarity. That's all, unfortunately, I have to offer.

My friends tell me it's because I have standards. I think, to a great extent, they're right. Also, I'm so busy and haven't found a good way of meeting people. Haven't been successful online--how are you supposed to tell if you have a spark with someone that way? Bars don't seem conducive to long-term, healthy relationships either.

I think the most irritating thing is people wanting to sweep your hurt, despair, depression, loneliness, whatever under the rug. Easy for them. They're not living it 24/7. They always offer some platitude or tell you you have to be patient and that things will get better. You just want to say, "Yeah, well, you've never had to wait as long as I have."

All the extra crap you have to put up with for being gay seems to be completely trivial or arbitrary. It's like you're being punished for being gay, but not enjoying any benefits of being gay.

Anyway, just stream-of-consciousness rambling to tell you I sort of feel where you are. But i have nothing if not a surplus of hope, so I endure because I know if I didn't, the answer to my prayers could be just around the corner.

"I can't go on, I'll go on"--Beckett