Because why not? ;-) --- Oh, it's a mad, mad, mad world out there, Populated with online dating apps galore. Something for everyone - thus, the seductive promise, Eternal happiness at the next click? Forevermore! Bearded, bewhiskered, clean-shaven, They look so different and yet the same. As they all seek to flaunt physical and intellectual wares, It's really no longer a question of pride or shame. The gay haircut, the gay pout, The still-in-the-closet, the proud-and-out, The beefy gym rat, the elegant nerd, The one doing a yoga pose that looks like a bird. And then there's me, the triple minority, Brown and gay and the "friends-first" type. Living in a whiteland of fair skin and flesh, I wish they would look at me, that's the eternal gripe. I'm so much more than my ethnicity, you know, I never stereotyped you (or I try not to) as "gay" and "male" and "white". Why then do you exoticize or exorcise so much? Ignorance may be bliss, but ignoring is rude and not right. But what's strange is what you do to your own "kin", The ones who are different from you. The ones who aren't greek gods, who aren't photoshopped, The ones who are but human too. Because I've talked to them too, and I was shocked to find, That they've had it as bad as I. Been stood up, insulted, used, discarded, It's enough to make one go, "Oh, my!" But the sad part is that the heartless ones, Are the least likely to be here on a forum such as this. They'd be too busy narcissising their reflections, They'd be too lost in their clouds of bliss. So, to the ones reading this, I say, You're not alone (even though you feel that way) in this electronosphere. I just think the apps give us a mildly misleading hope. That the love of our life is going be found right here. I, too, get addicted from time to time, To this sea of shirtlessness and lust. But I guess one needs to use his time better, Hobbies and exercise and friends and family, that all is a must. Will I one day find my first kiss on an app? Maybe, who knows, also my first boyfriend? Maybe I'll find the one who quickens my pulse. Maybe I'll find the one with whom I'll be till the end. But I have to remind myself, and so might you, That my life is flowing by and the hours are ticking past. There's so much I have to achieve in my life, A gay dating app cannot be the thing first and last. So yes, I'll continue to comment and woof and what not, To every handsome guy that flashes past. And hope that one fine day, A wonderful young man responds to my brown self at last.
Very nice! It makes me long for the pre-dating app era. More and more, sex and relationships are reduced to 'advertisements', images one flips through on a phone, and thus, increasingly commodified and prone to the superficial. This tends to make me sad. I wish people would give each other more of a chance in the real, physical world, and not rely so heavily on these things...
Wow. That was a really really good poem. It makes me want to download a gay dating app the very second I turn 18 (which is in about a month). I also like the part about how it's harder for racial minorities on dating apps. People can be very picky when it comes to race, but I'm sure you'll find someone eventually who doesn't care about race. I think a distinct difference between gay dating apps and straight dating apps is that gay dating apps tend to be more about sex than "friends-first" relations. That's not to say there's no gay men that look for "friends-first" relations, but from what I've seen, that's generally the case.
You know what, those who ignore and those who are narcissistic and those who are racial are exactly the ones who arent right for you! So its a relief they ignore and they dont respond
I'd just like to add that you shouldn't waste your time with people who care about race. This goes for both, people who judge you based on race and those who fetishize you based on race. It's sad that this type of problem exists within the gay community. I've heard some pretty nasty words used to describe racial minorities in dating apps.
Thanks, guys -HuskyPup - I agree to an extent, definitely! One wishes there were more forums for gay men to meet each other. However, the one advantage is that it makes it easier to initiate contact without feeling awkward, a factor which does come into play for me because, not being from here, I wouldn't even know how to start a conversation! (And I'd die of embarrassment in using cheesy pick up lines ;-) ) Like most things in life, it's a mixed blessing, I guess! -Skaros - Thanks, bud! I appreciate the encouragement. Oh, I couldn't agree more about people self-selecting out for whom race is a concern. But given where I am there's not been a lot of racial diversity even historically. So I think it's hard for them to even BE attracted to me right at the start. Thus, hypothetically, there might be guys who might actually like me but given that they've never seen anyone other than shirtless white guys, it's kinda hard for them to imagine a different race being "attractive". Best wishes for starting out on gay apps A word of caution - don't lose yourself in the digital swirl! It's very easy to get swayed and start putting up content in the search for the next "Like" equivalent on such apps. Keeping oneself grounded is a much, much stronger effort than one realises. So, just my friendly word of caution from personal experience! - Fighter694 - I know! Here's hoping for better people one day Is the gay app scene any better in India? Bangalore is at least a metropolis!
Wow such a great poem! And the racial situation on gay dating apps was nicely described! In fact a study done in the UK found racial minorities within gay men experience quite a bit of racial discrimination not just on dating apps, but also in gay clubs and whatnot. Some of it is microagressions, but a lot of it is outright racism. I luckily have only had to experience racism once and it was on one of the apps, but it aint nice at all! Makes you feel like a stereotype or beneath everyone else. I think ultimately like you said the apps can be useful, you just dunno who you'll find (I've met some nice friends on it and some nice guys to go on dates with) but gettin addicted to them is what could be unwise! Haha
Excellent poem and I really got a sense of how you feel towards the whole dating app thing. It's a shame because I am a culprit of many of the things you said. A guy may message me and I will not respond because there is no physical attraction;I don't want to start talking to the guy and then he gets disappointed when I say I just want to keep it as friends. However, I've been the guy who has gone out of my way to message someone and he never responded - then I wonder, why did he ignore me? I forget I did that same exact thing to someone else. It's a tough situation. But I do think these dating apps and websites are geared towards the "lookers" - the people that everyone is going to stop scrolling and say, "Wow he is good looking." The problem with dating apps and websites is so much is placed on looks - as I do, you probably are not going to message someone unless you see something you like in their picture. It isn't like a bar or social gathering where you could end up talking to a random stranger out of nowhere. I don't know how I feel. However, I recently read an article and it brought up some points about how superficial dating apps and websites are. After reading it, I decided to close my account on a website and stay away from online dating for a while. If I find in a few years that nothing is working out, then I may try the website again - but I am starting to realize it shouldn't be my first option. Sometimes I think it's better to get out there and put yourself out there. Just my opinion 23-year-old refuses to use dating apps - Business Insider
@closeteer : I think somethings never change, whichever country be it, but of course there isn't much racial hatered going around as there isn't much diversity in that regard! But the shallowness still persists ! They are pretty much hook up apps! The thing is in a country in which it is a taboo, there is a tendency to go on a sex spree till they get married to a woman! So these apps are primarily for that!
