I need someone to tell me everythings going to be fine

I feel terrible. Besides the fact that I am having problems at school, I am also not honest to all my friends and family, and I hate to lie, I alsp can't figure myself out which is so depressing, new to that, there now is another problem which I want to be honst about with you, EC.
I hope you won't judge me.
Because of all my recent problems, I came to a point where drinking alcohol has become a solution. Yes I am only 15, yes I am already drinking. I haven't got drunk much often before(about 3 times, but within a short period of time), but I am really in fear of myself because all the times I drank, I couldn't stop myself from drinking more. There was no peer pressure at all, it all came from me. Because I love the fact that I dont have to be myself when I drink.
Since this obviously isn't the right way to handle my problems, I figured last Sunday would be the last time for me to get drunk before making a pause until atleast till I am 16(march). But now, not even a week after that, I am already struggling to not drink alcohol. I lie in bed at night and think about how easy it would be if I just had a little sip ob vodka right now. My problems would be gone so easily.
And I scare the heck out of me with that. I am not exaggerting nor am I kidding.
I scare myself but I can't find a solution
Please don't judge me. I just want to feel okay again for once.