Passing & Not Being Out To New Friends (Discussion)

Nah, I don't see a reason for it. They don't need to know.

 

I don't think thats anyones buisness but your own, It wouldn't be fair to have to come out to every new friend you meet, the old ones, yes, new ones, it would jist make life more akward. Happy Christmas BTW

 

No, it's not necessary to come out to new friends of you don't want to! I definitely don't, though I also don't attempt to hide it. Remaining stealth is stressful and unhealthy (for me). As a result, I have some friends who know, some friends who don't, and a while bunch who I have no idea whether or not they know!

 

If you don't want to tell anything then don't.

 

I guess it's up to the individual, but I don't see any reason to tell your friends unless you want them to know for support purposes.

 

Just remember that no trans person is ever obliged to come out to anyone, ever.

 

You don't need to tell anyone you're trans if you don't want to. Why should you feel obligated to do so? I already pass pretty well and I have friends who doesn't know about it, so I don't see a problem.

 

"I never said I was cis, you just assumed."

 

I don't think that it is necessary to come out. With me, it's just something that happens though. I am pretty open about who I am, so generally people find out pretty quickly that I am trans.

 

I feel this way as well. That's why I am stealth to everybody who didn't know me before transitioning, and I have told those who do know that they're not allowed to share that information without my permission.

I don't see any reason to tell people who don't know that I am trans because I don't want to be subconsciously thought of as trans, I just want to be thought of like a cis guy.
Really I feel that you don't need to share it with anyone unless you're going to have a sexual relationship with them.

That being said, I have told some people that I trust, and I've even mentioned it off-handedly before - but in general I do not want people to know.

 

I personally like to stay stealth, I live in that "bible belt" so I'm afraid if I wasn't somebody would try to kill me eventually. That, and I don't like being treated differently by potential friends.

 

I have never had this reaction, but if I did, my reaction would be to end the friendship. Acting with hostility towards a person's life's difficulties is not behaviour that qualifies you to be a friend. Ignorance and curiosity I can handle, bigotry and meanness I cannot (will not).

 

Do we feel the need to tell someone we're cis? It annoys the crap out of me that we feel the need to tell people that we're not straight.
I've made the decision that I won't tell most people. Unless I want them to know (hey you're hot, I'm interested, hey I'm gay and single so... )
They don't need to know IMO

 

My goal is to go stealth. Once I am on HRT, and passing well, no one will ever hear a word of my past as 'female.' To me, the point of transitioning is to leave behind my painful upbringing as the wrong gender. Why would I then, having achieved that goal, tell people all about the part of me that I hated? I understand the advocacy viewpoint, in which case you do so selflessly in order to better the community. But I'm not intending to become an advocate. I just want to live as male, which is what I am and have always been. The set of genitals I was born with in no way defines the man that I am. If I told people, they would never look at me the same again. Even if they denied it consciously, it would set me apart in a way that I don't want to be set apart.

Now, if in the event I ever had a serious romantic partner, I would feel obligated to tell them. This would be someone I intended to spend the rest of my life with... someone closer to me than anyone else. There would be no secrets with this person - they would be entitled to know everything about me and I would trust them fully. If I didn't put this kind of trust in them they would not be my partner. And in the event we ever wanted to get intimate, there are some things they should know, of course.

In the end, I just want to live. As a guy. People I meet do not need to know, and do not have the 'right' to know my past - which includes me happening to be transgender.

 

Well sooner or later jhon is gonna have his period or not?? Like "jhon why are you so short tempered" "im trans guy. Im on my period" IDK it would be funny if they didnt knew!!
But no, no need. I just feel like you would be more free of talkimg about trans stuff and "im on my period lol" stuff

 

I believe intimacy, dating in general is that shady area where you sort of have to tell the partner... at least for safety reasons, in case of trans women especially. Harsh reality is that especially with cis men you may end up a victim. Depends where you live, too, and level of social stigma.

 

I dunno I know my friends a transgender guy, but he hasn't gone through any transitions yet, but I see him as a guy