So, I'm recently out to a few people and becoming much more comfortable with being gay. I've been using a few hook-up apps to chat to guys but haven't actually met anyone yet. This one guy has messaged me and offered safe NSA sex. I'm not that type of person but I'm so horny for him I feel like a teenager. Is this common with folk who have recently accepted who they are or who are recently out? I know nothing about this guy but want him so badly. I only have a few hours to decide what to do as I'm on holiday. Help!
I don't personally see any harm in it, as long as you stay safe, and I don't think there's anything unusual about wanting to explore something you just figured out. I think you should take advantage of this opportunity.
:icon_bigg I guess I thought my first time with a guy would be in a relationship. I really need some fun in my life because it has been so long since I've been with anyone.
Yeah, I was kind of thinking the same thing, but ****** can be very tempting at times. I haven't met up with anyone yet either, but its probably just a matter of time before I do. Go for it, then come back and tell us about it.
On the other hand. Don't rush into something that might have serious consequences the rest of your life. Sure, your sex engine is running at full speed. But be careful. Meet first in a public place. Be able to walk away. If you decide to thrust ahead, no unprotected sex. OK?
Yeah, there's no way it would be unprotected but thanks for the words of caution. My preference would be to meet for a beer first and, like you say, I can walk away if I'm uncomfortable. But, christ, he's hot!
Hi csmith... Have you discussed with the guy what you'd like to do together? I.e is he expecting sex? Just wondering how these meetings get planned etc
Hookups are part of the culture. While there's nothing wrong with anonymous sex, I prefer to get to know a guy before getting physical, even if it's just something casual. As long as you are comfortable and safe and potentially won't regret your decision if you wanted to save yourself for a more meaningful experience, go for it!
I don't give advice, but if I were in your situation, I would go for it and be safe. How else can I explore without venturing out. But that's just me.
Thanks folks! I haven't heard from him again so it isn't happening. Bigeagle, he sent me some very explicit photos and said he was looking for safe NSA sex so there was no misinterpretation! I said I was new to this and it would be unlikely that I'd want sex but I'd be up for a beer and some fun if we got on. I wish I was a bit further along my journey. I'll maybe need to come back on holiday to the same place next year. I have a thing for Hispanic men! (!)
It's totally a choice you have to make. Normal for people just coming out? Totally. It's also the case that many guys feel let down and sort of dirty if they just do a NSA hookup, so a lot of guys prefer to wait until they are with someone they like and feel good about. But if you're pretty confident that this is what you want, there's nothing inherently wrong with it as long as you are safe, you feel safe and comfortable with the person (I'd meet somewhere public like Starbucks before going to his place or whatever), and you're pretty confident you'll still feel good about it afterwards.
Pretty typical result from the apps. Also, be mindful that the pictures he sent you are very likely not him!
You might have scared him off discussing how new you are and how you wanted a drink first. Sex apps have a way of bringing out the strangest animal instincts in people. You certainly can find people whom will be more understanding and flexible in their approach, but make sure to set you expectations really low and do not be discouraged when you find people that are rude, abrupt and impatient. At the same time, don't feel bad if and when you get rejected. It is part of the doing things on apps. Keep your head up, be persistent, brush off the nonsense, be safe, and apps can work.
Thanks OnTheHighway. Expectations are pretty low. I've been using this app for months and haven't met anyone though I think some form of dating app is the way forward. I went to my first ever gay bar while on holiday and it confirmed what I already knew: it's not really my scene and I'm too old for it.
Simply said, if you are just looking for sex, to to get off - there are more than enough adult book stores, bath houses, apps etc. Just be safe in your adventures.
Try to meet in a bar for a beer first to see if you want to go further. That way it's easy to cut your losses if there isn't good chemistry.
