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Can straight trans people go through the gay dilemma?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by noname8387, Dec 18, 2015.

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  1. noname8387

    noname8387
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    Hi! I'm trying to understand my gender identity, and I wanted to ask you what you think about these cases (you don't have to fall into the roles I portray, you can give your opinion form your point of view) also these might sound really stupid but try to be understanding because it can do a lot of help to understand a few things:

    Gay Designer Dilemma
    Many fashion designers in the industry are gay, and many of them design beautiful dresses and clothes for women. If they think the things they design are pretty and they are of their taste (since they designed them), do they wish they could wear them? if the answer is no, why not? is it because it wouldn't look good on there body shape? or because society thinks it's not ok? or do they genuinely feel no desire whatsoever to do so? Also how do straight people feel about the clothes of the gender they are attracted to?

    Same-Sex Attraction Dilemma
    I read somewhere some article about things that happen to gay people, and one of them is that when they find someone they like they say "I don't know if I want to date you or be you". Can cis straight or trans people have this feeling before they came to terms with their identity?
    This happens to me and sometimes I wonder "Do I want to be strong for myself? Or do I think I want to be strong because I think men are supposed to be strong and I want to be an attractive man?
    Also another example (this might sound weird but whatever) I'm legit confused:
    I like having a male body because I feel like it is attractive and I guess I feel sexy. Can I like having a penis because I'm attracted to them? I like wearing men's clothing and underwear and I have wondered the same thing about these too. I have literally even questioned if I'm a trans woman with autoandrophilia.

    Sailor Moon/Barbie Dilemma
    I don't remember actually watching Sailor Moon as a kid, but I have some vague memories and it came up on youtube so I watched it a little and I really liked it. Basically I really identify with them, I love all the artwork, the hairstyles and the outfits of the characters, and basically every other thing. The only thing I don't necessarily wish I had is a female body, but everything else I love. How can I like and want all that female stuff but still want to remain a man? It feels like eternal conflict that I can't have both.

    Thank you!!!! any feedback you can give will help tons!!!
     
    #1 noname8387, Dec 18, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2015
  2. Just Jess

    Just Jess
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    I guess I don't understand the question? You like who you like, and what you like, and wearing what you like. If you don't want to transition don't. If you like boys, be with a boy. If you admire other men, I think that can live side by side with being attracted to them.

    When I was living as a man and was having sex with a female partner, I definitely felt jealous and imagined I was on the other side. But that doesn't mean that I am capable of performing with, or being attracted to, a man. The thought of a man being inside me in any way is way off putting, I would say more so now than before my transition. Not to mention the idea of being that close to one.

    Just take things as they are. The only thing about all this that doesn't work is the profile you are trying to make everything fit. Once you stop trying to make everything completely male or female, you are left with the reality that you are a complicated human being. And there is nothing wrong with that reality.
     
    #2 Just Jess, Dec 19, 2015
  3. Matto_Corvo

    Matto_Corvo
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    My brothers and me watched Sailor Moon growing up just as much as we like watching Dragonball. Men can like watching Sailor Moon. Also my brother will play female characters in MMORPGs for a simple reason: female avatars have better clothing options where as male avatars lack in the fashion department.

    As for gay fashion designers...Just because they design a dress does not mean they want to wear it. If they do want to wear it that doesn't mean they are trans it could just mean they are crossdressers. There is so much more to being trans than like to wear the opposite sex's clothing.

    My brother will go shopping with his girlfriend and point a dress saying "This is cute". Straight, gay, trans..you know good clothing when you see it.

    I'm guess, like Jess, I'm not sure what you are asking. If you like having the body of a man then keep that body. If you like watching Sailor Moon and looking at dresses that doesn't mean you aren't a man. The way to be a man varies from person to person.
     
    #3 Matto_Corvo, Dec 19, 2015
  4. Michael

    Michael
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    Of course you can have both. I understand that you don't feel comfortable with certain so called feminine things you love, but there is no laws that I am aware of that force you to fit into a box.

    I've heard there are many guys into My Little Pony, they call themselves Bronies or something like that. It's true that your love for My Little Pony (or sailor moon, or whatever) might not be the best conversation topic you can chose when you are with certain kind of men (probably a 75%), but you'll find men that are into those things, don't worry.

    You can do whatever you want to do, and it doesn't mean you are any less of a man or woman. It's just you, and you are not the only one on earth liking those things.

    Are you wondering if you are trans because of that?
     
    #4 Michael, Dec 19, 2015
  5. noname8387

    noname8387
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    Thanks for your replies! My point with the same sex dilemma was to try to see if I am in fact trans or not: "If was trans, I wouldn't envy men, I would just enjoy wanting to be a woman". But I'm having trouble answering this because I don't know how gay guys feel or a women feel towards men, to be able to compare myself with the two.
    For example the other day my mom complimented my shirt, maybe the male shirts that I have and like are just clothes that I'd find cute in my partner.

    I'm wondering if I'm trans because my 'core' is really feminine and it is conflicting.
    My train of thought to write this was "ok I act like a woman, I like how women look, I want to do woman things, and I like women's clothes, But I want to be a man? How does that make sense?

    If I was or wanted to be a woman it would make more sense, I could do what I wanted, the female clothes would fit better, not feel this conflict, and it all would even be embraced. It's just that I am so lost :S I need to quit this questioning!!! D:
     
    #5 noname8387, Dec 19, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2015
  6. NekoAlex

    NekoAlex
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    You can be feminine, act like a woman, wear women's clothes and still be a man. Gender roles don't mean anything and in my opinion are plain stupid. Just be yourself, do what makes you feel comfortable and happy, don't care about what society thinks and you will find your answer. :slight_smile:
     
    #6 NekoAlex, Dec 19, 2015
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