Hi everyone. I'm really struggling with my identity right now. I'm 18 years old and a freshman in college, just starting to truly live my life openly. However, I've had quite a setback recently. I was watching an interview with Dr. Umar Johnson on a radio station where he discusses numerous issues, one being if being homosexual is a choice. He stated that it's a result of a missing part of your life, and compared it to being a pedophile and should be treated as a mental illness. I'm usually pretty good at ignoring comments like this because I know that it's not true, but I really agree with him on many different issues and think that he's incredibly intelligent in other aspects. This caused me to really question my life and how I've been living it. I've had numerous girlfriends since I was 16 and have had endless crushes on girls for as long as I can remember. Maybe Dr. Umar Johnson is right. Maybe I am mentally ill and would be better off with a man. I don't know what to think anymore and I haven't hated myself this much since I was younger. I really don't know what to do with all of these self-hating thoughts. Anyone had a similar experience? I could really use some help. Thank you
If you don't feel attracted to men, you wouldn't be better off with men. Period. You aren't mentally ill, there is actually a theory that you are born with a sexual orientation and it says that you probably turned out to be the way you are because of prenatal hormonal influences in the womb. I think most people on here have experienced self hating thoughts regarding their sexuality since there are still a lot of negative views on homosexuality out there in the world today, including the one that is bothering you. However.. you should not let this get to you, like you didn't let the other negative things about homosexuality get to you. That this guy may be intelligent or that he may have a lot of intelligent things to say about other issues where you agree with him on doesn't mean that all his views are right or that you have to agree with him on everything he says.
I don't really know how to help so I'll be looking at other commenters, but I totally understand. Things like this send me back to square one, because they could be right. I don't know how to reason with points like that. ONE thing to note though, is that children are not sexually developed and are not mature, they cannot make decisions of a sexual or romantic nature. If you are with a consenting adult, you are not hurting anyone. Also, many studies have been done that have resulted in homosexuality to cease to be classified as a mental illness. Science says it is not a mental illness. EDIT: Also, I read this thing about this guy called Ben Carson. He is the best neurosurgeon in the world, he has developed ways to stop seizures and stuff, but he thinks the pyramids of Giza are grain silos built by Joseph (in the Bible). I don't know if thats true, but it does show that really smart people aren't smart in every way.
